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12 Love Advice for Your Teenager Romance and Dating Journey

Mother to a teenage stepson, a young daughter and a newborn.. I am taking one step at a time.

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The time has finally arrived. Your teenager is in love, or so they think they are. This is uncharted territory for both you and your child, and decisions that are made can change both of your lives forever. This article will hopefully give you, the parent, the knowledge needed to make good decisions, that will keep you and your teenager on the right path to a successful journey on the love train.

5 Main Problems and Issues Faced in a Teenager’s Romance

Just like everything else, when experiencing a relationship for the first time, there is always the fear of the unknown and how to handle the slippery slope that is common in any relationship. There are issues that teenagers will face when they start to date and unfortunately, they cannot be avoided.

1. Becoming Exclusive

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You can count on this one, no doubt. Their love interest will be the only thing that they think about every second of every day. They will separate themselves from friends, family, and schoolwork. It is important for them to realize that they need a healthy balance when it comes to maintaining friendships and everything else.

2. The Emotional Roller Coaster

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With each dawn of a new day, there will be different emotions and situations that will be experienced by your teenager. They will encounter plenty of both highs and lows with the latter being felt by those around them. Arguments will be quite common, to be followed up with the makeup stage.

3. Peer Pressure

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“Everyone else is doing it”, will be heard a lot by your teenager, especially when they are in situations that can lead to at-risk behavior. A teenager in love is going to feel the pressure to “keep up” or experiment with their love interest, especially if everyone is talking about it.

4. Risk of Abuse

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Unfortunately, this risk is not exclusive to teenagers, but can very well follow them through the years until they settle down and eventually get married, and this is not limited to physical abuse. Teenagers are going to resort to what they know best and that is what they themselves have been exposed too. The unknown factor is hard to deal with especially when maturity levels may not be ready to handle them. Emotional abuse and physical abuse are always a risk because they really don’t understand fully the consequences of their actions.

5. The Break Up

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Failure is not fun, no matter the age. Breakups can be just that; a sign of failure. It is inevitable, your teenager will suffer from a broken heart and numerous failed relationships (sometimes by the same person multiple times). The first one will be earth-shattering and they will feel like their life is over.

They will feel like a failure.

A broken heart is hard to deal with no matter the age, and to a fragile psyche like a teenager, it can be hard to overcome. Build your child up. Give them distractions to take their minds off the past relationship. Assure them that “Time heals all wounds.”

12 Teenage Love Advice and Tips for Parents

  1. Communication
  2. Don’t Judge
  3. Respect
  4. Have the “Talk”
  5. Remember you were a teen once
  6. Set Rules
  7. Be on alert
  8. Be cordial to their partner
  9. Try to get to know their parents
  10. Know when to get involved
  11. Keep Cool
  12. Be ready to pick up the pieces

How to Advise Your Teenager Child in a Love Triangle

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Well, this is a tough situation. But it all boils down to one thing: Communication. The key to any situation especially the uncomfortable ones is how open are your children with you when it comes to what it is going on in their lives. If there is open dialogue and you are not afraid of “being real” with them, this will make having conversations easier, because the trust is there.

There are two scenarios, and both are not any better than the other. The first scenario is if your child is the one that cannot make up his or her mind. It is quite common in young relationships especially those that last a significant amount of time. Boy meets girl. Boy meets another girl. The boy then tries to balance the two and ends up with a bucket of water on his head, just like every sitcom we watched growing up, aka Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell

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For instance, your child has been with their partner for a while, and they meet someone else. It could be a new student in the class, or someone they encounter on a family vacation. Either way, they are conflicted and confused. They start to feel the “butterflies” to this new person who has just entered their life, that they don’t know which way to go. And youth and immaturity, don’t favor the odds of them making the right choice. These feelings that that are arising for this person will greatly affect their outlook on their current relationship. They will feel very conflicted and feel guilty.

The key is for your child to understand that it is quite natural to have feelings for someone who is not their partner. As their understanding of relationships grows, and feelings of trust start to develop for their partner they will understand this a little clearer. This is a good time to talk to your child and explain the difference between love and lust, and how to best act on those feelings. Tell your child that it is ok to have feelings for an individual, but it is imperative not to act on the, or they will end up hurting someone.

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In some cases, if your child is torn between two people. They just can’t shake the feelings for this new person, the best advice would be, to be honest with themselves and with their current partner and take a break. Give them some time to figure out what they are really looking for in a relationship before making a commitment. And don’t rush into another relationship with that other person, it will not end well, just saying.

The next situation would be your child is one of the two choices. This one is a tough one because it will all depend on which side of the relationship, they are one. Are they the current partner? Or are they the new fling? The key is to make sure that your child is self-confident enough to understand when to walk away. This is difficult in itself because of that little thing that we talked about at the beginning about youth and maturity. Getting your child to understand that there are other “fish in the sea” is very difficult because no one wants to get hurt. But think back on all failed relationships from our youth and most of the time it causes a chuckle or a thought of “What was I thinking?” response.

5 Popular Quotes on Teenager’s Love and Relationships

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Young love is a flame; not pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.

— Henry Ward Beecher

Too many adults wish to ‘protect’ teenagers when they should be stimulating them to read of life as it is lived.

— Margaret A. Edwards

First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity

— George Bernard Shaw

No, this trick won’t work… How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

— Albert Einstein

The loss of young first love is so painful that it borders on the ludicrous.

— Maya Angelou

Polls: What Do You Do as a Parent?

While the above is as fair-headed as I can be, I do have a fair share of anxiety over my teen dating.

Below are some polls to see how we, as parents are responding. It will be fun and I am curious as to how it would turn out too! Well, first inputs are mine.

Conclusion

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When your children start to date, it is a whirlwind of emotions, because on one hand, when you look at your child you start to think that only a few years ago, you were holding them in your arms or holding their hand as you walked them into class on their first day of Kindergarten, and now they are asking someone out on a date.

The key to success in this transition is the line of communication that you have with your child. The more open and honest you are with them, the more they will share with you, which is a big win in parenting.

Understand that your teenager will make mistakes and may fail at times, especially when it comes to relationships and young love. The key is making sure that your child knows that you will be there to pick them up.

Comments

dashingscorpio from Chicago on March 31, 2020:

"The time has finally arrived. Your teenager is in love, or so they think they are." Actually for intensive purposes they ARE in love.

As adults we laugh and mock them because they know so little about life and it's demands as well as how much we'll evolve.

However for {the teenage mind} which only lives in "the now" love never feels stronger or deeper than it does at this stage of life.

Some people well into their 60s haven't gotten over their "first love"! There were no demands, responsibilities, jobs, or bills.

Being "in love" was the equivalent of living in a warm cocoon.

There are multiple reasons why our teenage love is viewed as ideal. First of all most of us had never been hurt, cheated on, betrayed, and therefore it was much easier to be "all in" and simply allow our hearts and ears to open wide and believe everything we are told by the object of our affection.

We're naïve, gullible, trusting and everything will go as planned!

We also lack{ the wisdom of perspective} and therefore believe how we feel right now is how it will always be only "better" in the future.

Our parents and other adults have never felt what we have. Therefore their advice falls upon deaf ears. In fact when it comes to parents and teenagers they live in parallel universes which only intersect when trouble arises. Teens believe they ARE adults!

Having this mindset keeps them from seeking advice from their parents and other adults when issues arise at school or in their relationships. They would rather discuss problems with their peers.

It makes no difference how kind, loving, and open the channel of communication is from the parent's point of view. Your teenage child will continue to live in (their own world) which is separate from yours!

If you don't believe me, think back to your own teenage years!

No matter how open parents are with teens very few of them will ever announce their plans to have sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Many teens keep being bullied or sexually harassed a secret.

The hardest thing about having a teenager in love is being powerless to prevent them from having their heart broken like no other time.

Some parents tell their kids to focus on school and how much time they're going to have for "boys/girls" later in life.

It's as if they've forgotten what it was like to have raging hormones, having a desire to go to school dances, movies, parks, beaches, and concerts with someone you can call your own. For a lot of teens driving, smoking, drinking, having a boyfriend/girlfriend and engaging in sex is seen as their passage into adulthood. A sixteen year old cannot imagine walking around a beautiful large college campus even though that may only be two years away.

All he or she can see is right now! There is no tomorrow!

The best way to deal with teenagers is to remember being a teen.

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