"For my little Anoushka"
It was Mother’s day, and my husband and I, both had our mothers visiting us. So I discussed with him to create a surprise gift for them, but he came back with three envelopes instead of two. The third one was placed quietly in my hands, and it dawned on me that with my two month old baby girl in my arms, this day from now on was also special for me.
The last eleven months just flashed across my mind and all the trials and tribulations it had put us through. I just came back from my doctor’s visit. God had been kind and we were having our first child. I was pregnant. We were creating life. Togetherness could never mean more, as we had planted a cell that would grow into us. A life contained by me, a tiny seed that will branch into our family tree. It will be made from ‘Us’, but will be ‘it’s own’. It was growing into me, my blood, and my body. We felt this miracle as our energy transformed to another form….a baby.
I had never been so excited for my doctors visits as now I longed to hear my baby’s heart rate, see those tiny limbs take shape and move on the ultrasound screen. I had two hearts beating inside me now, and soon this one heart will beat on it’s own. The cord that binds it to me will be cut and it will slowly unfold its own world. We’ll feed it to give it strength to stand, and then hold its finger to walk, and before we know it, it would walk away, just like we did, to seek its own destiny. So this is the only time it’s truly ours, where I not just possess its heart but engulf its whole being within me.
I want it to be beautiful in mind and perfect in body. But will I be able to let go. Maybe I won’t have to; maybe its eyes and its touch will stay with me forever. I prayed to God to give me the power to bear the unknown.
I spent time following a healthy diet; exercising, listening to good music and doing all that the old wise ladies of the house told me to do and read all possible books, to mould this being into a healthy baby. My husband and I spent hours pondering at the ultrasound printouts and he would excitedly wait to feel the baby kick my tummy and then beam like a proud dad.My husband kept wishing he got a daughter, so he spent hours brainstorming girl names.
Nine months flew by and finally I had the pains. As my mother held my hand to placate me she knew it was something she couldn’t have prepared me for and something I could not delineate. My husband was both delighted because he knew he would soon hold his little one, and fretful as he saw the fierce snowstorm outside. He finally had to call 911 to take me away in an emergency ambulance.
Grandma told us stories of how many great people like Lord Krishna and Jesus were born in difficult circumstances. So after 72 hours of agonizing pain as the time in the clock changed with the season from winter to spring, and the snow storm subsided, with the first ray of light our baby girl dawned into our lives. My husband’s eyes were wide open as he saw how his cells had multiplied into this glowing white bundle of joy. My mother felt her eyes dampening as she saw me release my pain and give her a part of me, who she had created once upon a time…history was repeating itself.
My husband and I had been lucky that both our mothers had come all the way to be there for us to lean on them for their support, guidance and also to celebrate their first grandchild. We were blessed in abundance.
The pain I experienced had been the worst ever, the sleepless nights the longest ever, but the happiness and contentment the most I ever felt too. She looked beautiful, intelligent, composed, so much in control of herself, she was my new best friend. She never gave me that helpless look of a newborn child.
The next chapter of our life had begun, with promotions to all from wife to mother, husband to father, then the family celebrating becoming grandmothers, grandpas, uncles and aunts.
We were all jubilant as we held her close…..the miracle called life.
Hope you all enjoy reading this and relate to this story. regards Snehal