To Spank Or Not To Spank, That is the Question...
Just a few weeks ago while standing in line at the local walmart I noticed a picture of Kate from Jon and Kate plus 8 with the picture of her spanking her children. It seems that everyone is against this style of punishment. I myself think that most of the time when parents engage in this type of punishment that in most instances it tends to get out of hand and the parents end up harming the children more than they are teaching them. I am old school myself. I believe that a child must be punished and in this day in age you cant just sit a child down or place them in the corner as this isnt an effective punishment.
I have an older sister who is just a year older who will not spank her children because our mother did this to her to the point of beating her, So because of the way it was done to her she wont spank her children. She will just yell and yell and yell until her face turns blue. What have the children learned is my question? They have learned absolutley nothing. They have learned that they can do what they want and be sent to their rooms, (Uh...The Punishment) Just about every child on this earth that has a "Good" home is being sent to their room where they have a color tv (Prob most of them are flat screens these days) that are hooked up to some sort of gaming device. They have cd players and mp3 players and hand held games, They have toys in their toy boxes and such. What are they being punished from. They are sitting in a room full of items just begging to be played with. They are not learning anything with this method. I dont believe in my opionion at least.
Is It Causing Damage??
When you spank a child they say it leaves a lasting impression on them that affects them later on. I am a mother myself and I have a 2 and a half year old, (where my sister has a 2 year old who is just 4 months younger) who is well behaved. We take him everywhere. We walk into a store and dont have to worry that he is going to be kicking and screaming when told no about something. And let me be the first to say that he has just about every toy you could think of. He will pick up his own toys and put them away. He loves to help with the laundry and will help to put it in the washer and dryer and will go to bed at a early hour and will get up and watch cartoons and let you sleep. He knows the correct way to behave. Not because we "Whooped" it into him but by learning that you can not run the household yourself as you are just a child. He knows who the grownup is and who the child is. In most cases. Like my sister. Her children are the control in the home. She may think that how she has taught them is the right way but when you cant visit because the child are to loud and rowdy there might be a problem there in my opionion. My son gets a spanking every once in a while when he is doing something that might harm him or harm some one else. He knows what a spanking is and if you ask him if he wants one he will anwer with a NO! He knows he better stop right there and then. We take him to restaurants and the people will ask us how old he is and when we tell them he's almost three they ask how we got him so well behaved. We have had the opportunity to meet alot of famous people who all say the same thing. He should be screaming and running wild with the terrible two's but we dont have that problem. He is a very well mannered and well behaved child because we taught him that with every bad decision that is made a bad consequence follows. He has learned himself he would rather be told no and learn that if he continues he will get a smack that will hurt his feelings for just a moment and maybe end up embarrassed for a second rather than loose something that means everything to him. (Example.. A bike, He loves his bike and will be with it outside for hours but would rather have the spanking then loose the bike) I love my child and love him unconditionally but I need to have control over the situation and need to know that he will grow up safe also.
States and Laws
The state in most cases have made it to where we are afraid to reprimend our children because of the laws against beating. The laws say we can not beat our children to the point of harming them. I once had a physical therapist who came into my home and told me that if I spanked my child she woud in fact be filling a report on me for beating him.. Do people not know the difference between beating and slapping a childs behind. My question to her is, When you were a child way back in the 60's (Because she was older) Did your mother not spank you? Im giong to guess that with anyone that is in their 50 and 60's that they were in fact spanked and probbly with a hickory stick as it was called. You were prob sent out to the yard to find your own stick to be brought back to be whooped with. The children these days who are running all over the streets joining gangs and robbing and killing people didnt get this way from loving caring parents in most instances. They became this way because once you start on a path of no control it is hard to overcome that way. Once you are lead down a path where you are the control you end up losing your control. Its like a drug. Once you start to take drugs and enjoy the feeling you will continue to come back for more and more of that same drug. Its like that with children. Once they learn that they can push and push and not have a consequence from their action, they get a feeling of satisfaction from that. They in turn will continue to push and push. Its not that easy to correct after learning to do this for so long of a period. The children running around beating up other children are not the ones who are being spanked at home but are the children not being spanked. Simply because when they are in school and being taught that your parents arent allowed to beat you, They mistake the word for beat for spanking. They are learning while in school from a teacher or another adult that if your parent slaps you you will need to let another adult know so that they can handle the situation. I thank Kate because she stood up and said "Yes I spank my children, How I discipline my children is nobody's business" With this statement she is absolutely right. How I handle my child is no ones concern. Do I discipline my child in public in this way. No because I dont think that should be the case. Am I ashamed of how I discipline him. No not at all but Its not the right time and place either. For this instance he will loose something that means more to him than that spanking. He will loose the bike so to say for a day. He will not be allowed to go swimming or play with his most loved toy. He will remember that rather than being embarrassed for the rest of the day because he was spanked in the middle of the store with a bunch of people around stopping and starring at him making him feel bad or worse for that matter because of what he did. I should be the only one making him feel bad not the whole store.
This is all I have to say on the issue and thank you for reading my hub