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Safe Vs Unsafe Touch: A Critical Review

As a counselor, it has been my duty to help children understand the principles of a healthy democracy. I did this through role-plays.


Safe and unsafe touch is an extremely sensitive topic that parents, teachers and society are hesitant to converse about.

But we must be frank in admitting that today child abuse and molestation of small girls and teens have become disturbingly prevalent in our society..

So it has become awfully crucial to start explaining to children about its pros and cons from a very tender age.

They should understand that touch that gives them feelings of genuine love, and happiness, can be termed as 'safe' or 'good touch'.

But such touches that radiate a sense of fear, insecurity, uncomfortable vibes, nervousness, and uneasiness are undoubtably 'unsafe' or 'bad touches'.

Children must be able to differentiate between good or bad touch.They ought to know how to analyze human behavior.

Warning Signals

All children should be made to understand that they own their bodies, and no one is authorized to trespass it.

Parents and children should both be able to recognize the signs of danger. The following signs should set alarm bells ringing:

  • Touching private parts secretly in public or private place.
  • Showing private parts to kids, peers, or siblings.
  • Taking a glimpse of someone, kids, or peers naked..
  • Offering kids, peers, friends unexplained gifts or money.
  • Secretly showing adult films, photos, or books.
  • Kids unwilling or fearful to be alone with someone.
  • Kids and teens becoming suddenly withdrawn or unusually secretive.

A medical practitioner, trustworthy person, teacher, or parents have the right to explain and decode suspicious behaviors in children.

Home Teaching

Parents are the children's first teachers and home is their first school. So it is their duty to engage with them in meaningful talks.

They must avoid the 'pee-pee' and 'poo-poo' talk. These types of talks are just mushy talks.It doesn't clarify vital information about touches.

Children are aware of their private parts from an early age. So parents must tell them the proper names of their private parts.

Parents should use appropriate language to clarify the child's privacy and right of body space.

It should also be explained that if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable they have the right to be indecent and refuse. They also ought to report it at once

They would then be able to differentiate between the two touches.

The Swimsuit Rule

The necessity of explaining this rule is of utmost importance. A kid must first understand what is a swimsuit.

After explaining a bathing suit, show them a picture or video clip about it. This will give more clarity and understanding about it and what is inside the swimsuit..

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Once the kid is clear about its meaning, they ought to be told that those parts inside the bathing suit are their private parts.

It should be emphasized that except themselves, no other person has the right to interfere with those parts.

Daily Meetings

Parents must make it a habit to spend quality time with their children. It should be accomplished in a cordial atmosphere.

This will give them avenues to interact with their kids. Here children must be encouraged to narrate their daily routine. .

Kids mustn't be interrupted during their narration. They will truthfully tell everything. Red flags, during the talks, ought to be noted.

If the slightest danger bell rings the parents should be on the highest alert. Accordingly preventive measures can be taken.

Proper explanation of ensuing danger signals should be given. The children will soon start making a difference between good and bad behavior.

When they begin to understand things, they will start to talk freely with their parents.They will even report such activities to someone whom they trust.

The Power of Role Play

When the child is able to differentiate between a good and a bad touch it should be clarified further with concrete examples.

It could be done through role plays between parents and their children. Role plays are extremely efficient mediums in the teaching-learning process.

Parents should give books on touch to kids. Then they can use slight twists in plots here and there to enhance their knowledge of behavior.

It makes the kids understand things crystal clearly. They must even guide them to shout their refusal, inform their teachers, and their parents.


Children are pure at heart and easily mix. It is the parents' duty to help boost their confidence. They should set the right environment for their learning.

Empowering kids and teens to accept or refuse cuddles and pats are utmost necessary.They should gradually be prepared to analyze wrong motives

Such teachings can be done while playing with them or even at the dining table. Parents can then understand their predicaments.

Guardians shouldn't talk in a depressed and negative way. It will give the wrong signals.

Every precaution that is taken for the child's safety today will shield them from ugly incidents in the future.

Answer within the stipulated time or it passes.

For each question, choose the best answer for you.

  1. What is the best example of good or bad touch?
    • Explain the swimsuit rule to kids
    • Empower the kids to refuse.


Use the scoring guide below to add up your total points based on your answers.

  1. What is the best example of good or bad touch?
    • Explain the swimsuit rule to kids: +5 points
    • Empower the kids to refuse.: +3 points

Interpreting Your Score

A score of 3 means: ?

A score of 4 means: ?

A score of 5 means: ?

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Bharat Sharan


Neha Pallavi on April 26, 2020:

Very nice and informative article.

Ramanujam on April 26, 2020:

Very important and Knowledgeful

Gopal Anand on April 26, 2020:

Very touchy and sensitive subject chosen by the author and is very relevant in current situation specially where both theparents are working and children are in the school followed by creche and are in the contact of strangers or lesser known persons make it more vulnerable to sex abuse.The topic has been nicely explained to create awareness among working parents to be vigilant and share secitive knowledge with the children.

Vikram Brahma from Assam, India on April 26, 2020:

Nice article on sensitive subject but I do believe children must be taught about this as soon as possible. Now a days society is not the same as it used to be. Yes, parents should come forward and teach their children about this issue on an urgent basis. The way you have conveyed the message tell us about the relevance of the subject. Thank you for sharing such an article openly.

Prateek Jain from Madhya Pradesh, India on April 26, 2020:

Very informative article Bharat sir. You are consistently writing on some very informative and effective cause of our society. This is a must read for all the parents, children's, and teachers as well. I really support and appreciate your efforts on coming up with this creative and powerful thoughts. I will surely share your articles with my younger siblings so that they will become aware of such things and avoid any unusual touch and intent of others in future.

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