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I'm 30 and There's Pressure on Me to Be a Mother.

I am two steps away from turning thirty, and I have been living with my partner for two years, it is notorious that we understand each other quite well and that our relationship is stable. So, it becomes inevitable that both my parents and his parents start making hints about offspring, of course, friends and other relatives join in what seems almost a clamor.

The truth is that no matter how much I argue that it is not the right time or that we have other priorities, they turn a deaf ear and insist with arguments that manage to make a dent in me. Which causes me to find myself rambling on about the possibility of children while I brush and think that they have managed to implant in my mind their ideas.

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So, as I know that I am far from being the only one who suffers in silence from these questions. I have put it into practice, and today I will share with you a series of exercises or basic tips that will help us to keep us shielded from excessively invasive comments. Because we must never forget that the most important thing about being a mom is to want to be one.

1. Understand each other's reality.

I like to feel that I practice empathy in all areas of my life, so, a significant point to avoid being affected by certain comments about family, motherhood, and age was to understand each other's reality. To put myself in the other's shoes, as if I were the other, to try to imagine and interpret that it is perhaps for them such a rewarding experience that they try to transmit it. Our parents understand the meaning and importance of a family, and that is exactly what they want to give us by encouraging us to procreate. When we internalize that, we feel less attacked and more loved with their opinions.

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2. Make you a safe place.

You must feel confident in your decisions and priorities, if you find yourself second-guessing yourself every time someone makes a comment about your motherhood, it's because you haven't believed yourself. Trust yourself, trust your instinct and what you want, no opinion will be stronger than that.

3. Learn to focus on the present.

I know! It is a phrase that we read everywhere, but how do I teach my mind not to travel between memories or jump between images and future dreams. Well today I am going to give you an exercise that, although simple, if you make it a habit, you will soon be situated in the present without problems. When you perform the most common activities of your day, such as bathing, brushing or eating, focus on what you are doing, if you want. You can narrate the moment in your mind, the movements, that will help your thoughts do not wander. This will allow you to be aware that this instant we are living is all we have, the future will have time to be present and to be lived.

Stop comparing.

We are used to comparing our life and situations with others that, sometimes, are far from our reality, no person is the same as another, we are motivated by different things. Believe me, when you are ready to be a mom, you will know, and it will be the best decision of your life. For the time being, enjoy your stages, free yourself from pressure, focus on the now, and you will see how the conditions and the desire just flow.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2022 Elizabeth Charris

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