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I Taught My Children to Lie and Swear

Tina is a bilingual writer of unconventional fiction, a media graduate with a special focus on human sexuality and a content writer.


I never told my children not to use certain words; instead, I taught them the usefulness of words, and the potency of words. I also taught them to always tell the truth, unless they have to lie to survive. We all lie and curse, only we don’t like to admit it, but I did. If we practice radical honesty, it’s easier to lie less. Small white lies are used to protect from hurt. No one wants too much honesty. If we curse when necessary and it feels good, it’s easier not to overuse. It’s also easier not to lie. People who curse are naturally more honest. Also, banning something makes it more desirable.

Swearing is definitely mainstream no matter how parents all over the world try to teach their children not to curse. Parents curse and they are not good at hiding it, but they are good at giving out to their children when they say fuck or shit or piss.

I have never had this problem. I have always cursed and told my children that words have potency, and if you overuse them they will lose their strength, power and meaning, so don’t overuse them.

We never had a swear box where we have to put money as a punishment for using a bad word. We discussed the usage instead. Fuck! Ok, I hear that you are angry, does saying fuck make it better? Yes. Ok, good. And that’s it. Simple. Swearing is an emotional expression and what must out, will come out, and words don’t kill. We throw words instead of sticks and stones, but we can also train ourselves not to take things personally.

Most of us agree that someone who curses a lot comes across as undereducated, obscene and rude, but despite this swearing is an integral part of all cultures, countries and languages, living or dead.

Still, sometimes nothing feels as good as fuck yes and a burst of laughter or a high five.

We almost have to force ourselves to stop using curse words.

Where does the power of curse words come from? Is it our idea of them as profane that gives them power? Why can’t we learn to utilise these useful expressions of emotions instead of continuing to ban them?

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Swearing has been here since the beginning of humankind or as long as fuck, but it started with hand gestures. People gave the middle finger in ancient Rome, and the fuck off sign is still in use worldwide. The middle finger represents the cock, penis or phallus, whatever description one feels most comfortable with. Today, people using hand gestures don’t just say something in the moment; it says something about their culture.

We differentiate ourselves from others by how we dress and by our look, swearing is a dirty thing, and people don’t like dirty things. Unless they do.

We have gone from groups to tribes to cultures to civilisations, and throughout our whole human history, we have used colourful words to express emotions to make ourselves understood and to connect with others. We express ourselves through art, music, dance and drama and by swearing. Swearing can convey both love and hate — I fucking love you and you filthy bastard.

Obscenity laws and banning made these strong words more powerful.

Why do we fucking swear?

We use potent words instead of fists. Swearing is also a signal of a healthy brain. Swearing is innate and human. Swearing reduces pain and stress and is excellent anger management. Swearing is a basic instinct.

Why do we lie?

We lie to protect ourselves and others. We do it to avoid conflict and also for social harmony. We have always lied and cursed, but it doesn’t make us bad people.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Tina Brescanu

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