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How to Know If You Have a Toxic Relationship

This is to help people who need it to know if they're in a toxic relationship, and how to cope with it.

How to know if you're in a toxic relationship, and what to do about it.

Toxic relationships for most can be unclear for most of us, we usually haven't realized it or experienced it at a young age. But it shouldn't be normalized and those people should be called out.

1. They ignore your success and even happiness.

I didn't realize it, but this was happening to me. If a friend or family member tries to tune you out if you have good news or tries to turn your mood sour, they're probably jealous or toxic. If they're constantly doing it, you aren't in a healthy relationship with the person and you should either talk to them or cut them out of your life.

2. They always find something to be upset about

Getting angry over the small things, even if you meant to help that person can be a good sign. Usually as children our parents get upset if we don't wash the dishes or fold the towels correctly. But, like my situation I'm constantly being scolded for completing simple task if it isn't absolute perfection. Even when you're not doing anything or bothering anyone; if they still have something to say it's not good.

3. They comment on your appearence/ make fun of you

This is a big one for me, as a tall bigger girl in school my mom always made it clear that I was too big and needed to lose weight. You can imagine what that did to my self esteem growing up. If it's a new haircut, or dress that you like and they make a degrading comment and not trying to help, they're probably toxic.

4. They always want something in return or to be congratulated

Toxic people usually tend to treat others how they were treated or were and are upset with their lives. If they constantly bug you to say "Thank you" or do something for them in return, they probably don't have much sympathy for you. Children usually experience this one more, as their parents tell them to be grateful and thank them that they take care of them, even though it's the parents' job.

5. They ruin your social life

If a friend or family member constantly stops you from enjoying a good time, they're probably toxic. Parents and spouses are usually the main ones t take part of this, as if they want to keep you to themselves. This isn't good for you and you might lose friends and become depressed.

6. They physically and verbally abuse you

Yes, there is a difference between a punishment and just plain abuse but if you're in your late teens or are an adult you should report this person right away. Physical abuse can be hitting, scratching, kicking, biting, etc. Verbal abuse is usually making degrading comments or telling you to hurt yourself.

7. They try to turn you into them

Usually they're the bully but they try not to think they are. They make you participate in things even if you don't enjoy them, they urge you to do things to change your apearence or interact with the people they like.

8. What to do about it

CUT THEM OFF! I cannot say this enough, even if you are relying on them for certain needs you should have a plan to make yourself stable. If you need serious help, I recommend that you contact an adult or friend immediately.

Comments

dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 23, 2020:

I suppose it depends on what country you live in and if you're willing to relocate to another city/state/country to have freedom.

In the U.S. there is no law which would force you to stay in a toxic relationship. Friends, family, and government assistance programs are also available to help people move on.

Eventually everyone has to learn to rely on them self.

Oftentimes people simply Do Not LIKE their other options because it's NOT easy. Therefore they (choose) to stay put.

When someone has a choice to stay or leave suffering is optional.

"If you want something bad enough you will find a way and if you don't you will find an excuse." - Jim Rohn

Bria Johnson (author) from Katy, Texas on October 22, 2020:

In some cases it is, not everyone has a way out. Maybe they rely on the person or are together by law. Suffering can be optional, but not always.

dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 22, 2020:

The bottom line is if you're unhappy whenever you're with this person it's a toxic relationship.

Fortunately no one is "stuck" with anyone!

You get to (choose) who you spend your time with.

Suffering is optional.