Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.
Good Parenting – Being a Positive Role Model for the Child
Parents are a child’s first teachers and role models. They are responsible for shaping up the child’s behavior and implementing positive values in them. Children listen, observe and imitate their parents. So it is important that they should be good role models the kids would want to follow. As a Mother or Father, a Parent has to practice what she/he preaches to expect the child to follow it. But majority of Parents miserably fail to be that and set up examples of bad parenting instead. There is no doubt that Parenting is one of the most difficult and demanding tasks in the World. It requires continuous learning and sacrifices to be a good Parent. To raise well behaved and responsible children one should be willing to invest a considerable amount of time, patience and energy.
It is not wrong to say that bad kids come from bad parents. Children are like raw earth and they get molded based on how their parents mold them. It is up to you to decide how you want your child to be. Faulty parenting only can lead to faulty children. If you want a well behaved and positive child, you will have to lead by example by being a positive role model for them.
What does it take to be an effective parent and good role model for children? What is the importance of being a positive role model? What are the Qualities of a good role model? If you are looking for the answers of these Questions, this Hub should help.
Qualities Parents should have as Role Models
I don’t think anyone can be a Perfect Parent. Everyone learns by trial and error. No one is born perfect. Every Individual has negatives and drawbacks. But it is not difficult to be a good parent. All you have to do is be a positive example for the child to follow as it is from you a child will know what is wrong and what is right. You may make mistakes, acknowledge it and correct it. If you do not set a good example for the child, you cannot expect the child to be a good citizen. Normally we learn our first steps of parenting from our own parents. Sometimes we tend to parent the way we are parented because our parents were successful in it. But most of the time children end up paying a price for the bad treatment their parents got from their grandparents by being treated in a similar manner. Some Parents take the Bad Parenting of their own Parents as an example of how a Parent should not be and try their level best to make sure that their children do not suffer the way they did.
How to be a good role model for your child? Given below are Qualities a Parent should have in order to be a positive role model.
- Teach Positive Values: If you want your child to have positive values, you should have them as well. Children are known to imitate and follow their parents. So it would not be a good sign if you tell your son/daughter to be honest and get caught by the child while you were lying. By doing that you would be conveying the message that it is okay to say lies when it is beneficial. Similarly, there are many parents who use bad language and swear words but instruct their children not to use them. You will have no explanation why you can use it while he/she can’t. So it is important that you practice what you preach. It is important that you banish your negative image if you want your children to show positive qualities. Teach your kids positive attitude and values like honesty, respect, generosity, kindness, good manners and forgiveness by being an example for them to follow. Encourage good behavior by praising and rewarding them.
- Respect Children as Human Beings: If you expect your child to respect you and treat you well, then you should also respect others, including the child. Your children would treat you the way you treat your parents or others. If you are disrespectable to your Parents, your children also may not treat you well. When you throw your aged Parents out of the house or treat them like garbage, remember that one day your children may also treat you similarly. If you show toxic behavior, your children may also develop them. For instance, if you are an abusive husband who beats his wife, you would be teaching your son that it is okay to be abusive towards his future wife. So watch out how you treat your friends, spouse, parents, neighbors, colleagues, servants and other people in your life. Let the child know that they are loved and cared for. Let them know that they are secure with you.
- Establish an Open Communication: As a Parent, Spend quality time with children every day. Listen to the children and understand their feelings when they talk. Let your children know that they can be honest with you. Show happiness on their accomplishments, discipline them, encourage them when they need motivation, comfort them when they are hurt and teach them responsibility. Just like positive behaviors, children also pick up negative traits. So if you make a mistake, take the responsibility on yourself instead of getting into the blame game. Accept your mistakes and apologize. When the child makes a mistake, patiently make him/her understand the mistake. Instead of yelling and physical punishment accept a sincere apology from them. Let the child know that it is okay to make mistakes but it is important to be honest and make amends.
- Teach them Healthy Habits: Just like good manners and etiquette, healthy habits also should be taught to children. Be their role model for healthy living. Implement healthy eating habits and exercises to keep them healthy and fit. Encourage them to participate in sports and games. Allow them to play with the children of their age. Teach them about hygiene and cleanliness. Let them know about the effects of drugs, smoking and alcohol abuse. Be a mentor to the child. Show love for learning new things. By doing it, you will be able to instill an appreciation for learning and education in the mind of the child. Also be involved in your child's life by taking interest on sports, hobbies or anything else they are interested in.
In short, be a positive role model to the child by implementing positive attitudes and behaviors in front of the child. Apart from Parents, Children also learn from their Teachers and surroundings. So choose wisely whom your child associates with. It is advisable to keep your kids away from those with toxic behaviors as they can be of influence to the kid.
Is there anything I have left out? Feel free to add them through comments.
More on Good Parenting
- How to be a Good Father to your Children?
- How to be a good Mother to your Children?
- Dealing with Sibling Rivalry
- Are Parents ruining the life of their Children by forcing Career choices?
© 2012 Anamika S Jain
thesailor from Seven Seas on June 12, 2012:
Parents should bear in mind that they don't own their children. They are living souls with independent spirit.
As Rabindranath Tagore essayed on his poem about Children, parents should understand that their children have their own individuality.
They should accept the wholesomeness or peculiarities of their offspring and guide them on how to be good citizen.
Susan - BusStopClub on May 27, 2012:
You make some valid comments about parents being role models, but sometimes good parents have a challenging child who has a mind of their own, here all you can do is hang in there, love unconditionally and don't live in guilt - get on with your life; that will be a better role model than living with a label of failure.
starlynn1214 from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on April 17, 2012:
I think that when two people, who intended on spending the rest of their lives together, end up divorcing, often time don't see themselves as good role models for their children. But, I believe that if both parents are on the same parenting page, being their chilren's role model is definitely still an ascertainable goal. By, as parent's, not ex-spouses, showing respect and empathy(yes, I know that many divorcing couples would not use those two words to describe each other), but if they could, for the sake of teaching their children that just because someone may make a mistake does not make them any less worthy of respect. Teaching your children respect, tolerance, understanding,and self control as divorcing parents, well, can more than prepare their children for this often "me centered" existence we call, LIFE. Teaching them not to point fingers, play on the sympathy of others,disrespect, accuse, manipulate etc...all of which often occur during a divorce,will be the best gift you could give your children and in the long run, maybe yourself. So in essence, by treating your spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse in the same way you would want to be treated teaches your child, by example,how to be a role model to others, and especially to,(down the road) their own children. To learn from mistakes and experiences and to grow in a positive and productive way.
Paul Richard Kuehn from Udorn City, Thailand on April 11, 2012:
Anamika, this is an excellent and very useful hub for anyone who would like to know how to be a good role model for their children. From personal experience, I know that the habits you practice in front of your children are very important. I was a smoker when my boy was growing up so, it is no wonder that he took up smoking when still in high school. You are absolutely correct about spending a lot of quality time with your kids. If you don't, they'll leave the house and look for it with their friends. I'm sharing this with my followers.
raciniwa from Talisay City, Cebu on April 09, 2012:
these are good teachings to live by...great hub...i need to practice these tips myself for we only know how to parent our children by following the scripts our parents handed down to us...
paintphd from Manchester Tennessee on April 01, 2012:
Your correct homestead bound...I believe in the old adage that children raise good parents, if we are willing vessels.
jenubouka on April 01, 2012:
Great hub, good insight and advise. Even the best parents have their moments of bad choices and the first ones to notice are the children.
Christabel Evans from England, UK on March 31, 2012:
Thank so much for sharing this. It is very useful. How i wish most parents can read this, because we tend to think that children have a mind of their, of course they do, but parent should let their life be a good example.
Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on March 30, 2012:
Anamika, you have covered almost all the tips needed to mould a child to become a good human being. It today's times when parents find lesser & lesser time to spend with their children, it becomes imperative that a parent spends quality time with the child in inculcating good values.
Voted all across.
Susan Holland from Southwest Missouri on March 30, 2012:
Nice Hub! Yes, we need to be positive influences in our chidren's lives. It is difficult to raise kids today, but we can control what goes on at home. Keeping communications open and showing love and interest will help our kids. Voted and shared! :-)
paintphd from Manchester Tennessee on March 30, 2012:
You make some valid points in your hub. I agree to some degree with bad parents making bad kids,though many a wayward child has been raised by the best of parents. That being said, I still think your hub is informative and is a worthy read for parents.
Electro-Denizen from UK on March 30, 2012:
Nice hub, good to be re-reminded of these things - voted up!
Theresa Ventu from Los Angeles, California on March 30, 2012:
Very good point on establishing an open communication. If this is well established, relationships will improve a lot :-)
Cindy Murdoch from Texas on March 30, 2012:
Unfortunately, becoming a parent does not come with an instruction manual, so we will all make mistakes. You have provided a lot of good advice here. Parents are indeed their children's first role models; therefore, it is very important that we give them good examples to emulate.