In this article we will look into different methods of getting your children to do home chores like cleaning, washing etc.
Kids Can Help at Your House, Too
Praise Now, Not Later
In order to involve a child in the performance of household duties, he/she should be really interested. There are several rules:
Praise Immediately, not Afterwards
The child must feel his or her significance. Be sure to catch the moment when children do something good and not defer praise for later, but do it right away. At the same time, do not be afraid that it can somehow spoil the child.
Situation: Mom gave a task, but herself does nothing - she watches TV or flips Instagram.
It is important also not only to work together, but also to praise both the child and himself. For example, I'm good because I made a pie today. Let me pat myself on the back for it. It is important that the child hears and sees it.
At What Age and What to Entrust
You can teach to duties even at the age of two years. But you need to give the following tasks that your child can perform. There must be limits and real expectations. A two-year-old baby should not be instructed to simultaneously remove toys and knead the dough. After the completed task, the child should enjoy his competence. Therefore, we give only strong tasks for a specific age.
CHILDREN 2-4 YEARS OLD. We can offer them to help wipe the dust, spread out separately washed forks and spoons, sort flat and deep plates, collect dirty linen in the basket, feed the pets.
CHILDREN 5-7 YEARS OLD (PRE-SCHOOL YEAR). We can ask them to remove toys, cover the bed, wipe the washed dishes and spread it out, get purchases from packages.
SCHOOL AGE. We are expanding the list of responsibilities. Already a child can clean his own room, vacuum, water flowers.
Why You Cannot Do Everything Instead of Your Children
When children do adult work, they receive parental recognition. That is why it is fun. They feel competent, and this is extremely important to them. The more children perform tasks they do well, the more they will want to go beyond their abilities and do something new. In this way, children increase their self-esteem and sense of responsibility.
In a family where mom or dad do everything themselves, the child does not need to do something. The child knows that he will come from school, and mom / dad will cook, put a plate, clean the room and fold things in the closet. The child does not understand that he must do it himself. And she's not guilty of that. The reason is that the family simply did not have such practice. There was one pattern of behavior, and the child does not know what can be different. No one taught her or showed how.
This, accordingly, affects the later life of such children. In adulthood, they can become helpless. For example, they will not be able to independently perform household affairs. More importantly, they will not be able to make independent decisions and wait for someone to decide for them. This applies to global issues: change of job, place of residence, relationships. It is difficult for unedent children in adulthood to take steps. They get used to authoritarian behavior over them with instructions on what to do, how and when. They can't decide on their own.
Situation: the child does household chores with his dad, and with his mother shows resistance or even hysteria. Why so
This is not because the child loves dad more. In fact, everything is very the opposite. For example, there is a glass vase – dad. And there is a reliable steel pan – mom. And if you take a vase, then you can not do whatever you want with it. And if you take a saucepan, nothing will happen to her, she will last a lifetime and will not break.
As a rule, mom is just this pan. The child feels complete safety. Therefore, it allows itself a greater manifestation of emotions next to the mother. In particular, strong negative emotions with which she herself can not cope.
Hysterics, resistance, tears and screaming are instincts. The child has not yet developed impulse control, for which the prefrontal cortex of the brain is responsible. Therefore, physically does not work control, analysis, critical thinking. This is all formed up to 25 years.
When you ask the child to do something, and she refuses or even is entry, the hysteria siren starts. Rational explanations at this moment do not apply to the child.
How to Calm Down
join the emotions of the child (this can be done in the words: I hear, I know; voice emotions: you are angry, you are scared);
mechanical compressing (ts, I know, I am nearby);
Switch attention or distraction (works for young children)
go down below the level of the child's face and only then start talking (this shows that there is no danger);
not to forbid emotions for a child (the fact that we are not a problem, for a child – a disaster). Hysteria must be given the right to be.
Only after reassurance can you start a conversation with the child, explain the importance of her help, voice a request or errand.
It is necessary to teach the child to household duties as early as possible. This is the only way it will be easier and more relaxed.
What May Be the First Responsibilities
The first thing you need to teach your child to collect toys, put their belongings in the closet and take them to the wash. Toys must be taught to collect as soon as the child begins to play consciously. On average, this is from 9 months. To do this, you can use toy carts from the store, a variety of baskets and boxes. The basket should be as accessible and convenient as possible for the child. At the same time, it is important that toys always lie in one place.
First, in order to teach the child to clean the room, parents need to collect toys with the child. For example, one toy is put by a father or mother, the next one is a child, and so, until everything is removed. After that, it is worth thanking the child, saying how good she is and emphasize how clean and beautiful she became.
If we talk about involving a child in the household affairs of the family, then you need to wait a little. It is recommended to start no earlier than a year and three months. First, you can give easy tasks. For example, wipe dust or stir something while cooking. Often children are happy to help parents in household chores, it is important not to criticize or tell the child that something has been done badly or wrongly. We must encourage and praise.
Talk to Your Child
Parents need patience and understanding. It is important not to use the phrases in communication with the child: "Here mom / dad do everything ourselves, it is difficult for us, we get tired, you need to help." Thus, the child will form a feeling of guilt and anger.
The phrase "Could not (could) help me better and more effectively, without your help I could not cope". This will help to form the child's own significance and need.
What Parents Should Avoid
punish by cleaning. If the child behaved badly, cleaning should not be punished. Because the only conclusion that a child will make is a connection that cleaning is equal to punishment. It won't bring her pleasure. She'll feel depressed.
do everything yourself. Due to lack of time, parents often do everything themselves and do not involve the child in household chores. This negatively affects development, does not form a sense of responsibility. Later, as an adult, when parents ask for help, they will not receive it. The child will not understand or see the need for it.
How Home Responsibilities Reward Your Child
When parents entrust the child with household chores, they form its independence and responsibility. They also improve motor skills, imagination and coordination of movements that are necessary for healthy physical and psychological development.
Great Home Gyms to Make Your Children Happy
Pikler Triangle Sets Gym for Kids - simple gym to keep your kids aged 2 - 8 years happy and busy. You can get along with this activity with them.