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How to Overcome Parenting Worries When You're a Working Mother

Pawan Kumar is a Digital and Content Marketer at Springworks. He has been featured on many reputed publications and online magazines!

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One of my friends Jen went back to working full-time when her daughter was six months old. At the end of the first week at work, she walked into her boss’s office and told her that she would be resigning because she could not stop worrying about her baby while she was at work.

She smiled and asked her if her mom is still worried about her.

The answer, of course, was – “Yes.”

“Parenting and worry go hand in hand,” Boss said. “Don’t allow parenting worries to stop you. Look for solutions.”

And that is what she did. She realized that there were five eternal parenting worries. And here are some of the most effective ways to overcome them.

1. How can I keep my child safe?

Infections, injuries, abductions, abuse. The world is unsafe, and it is easy to panic and become overprotective.

Paradoxically, however, learning how to be independent and stand courageously by themselves is the only way children are likely to stay safe.

What to do to stop worrying about safety?

  • Teach your child to be cautious. Caution involves observing, thinking, and making the right decisions without panic.
  • Teach your child the skills they need to become independent. An independent child is more likely to be safe.
  • Practice authoritative parenting. Explain the rules and boundaries that you establish so that your child does not endanger themselves by breaking rules.

2. How can I make my child happy?

It is heartbreaking for parents to see their children unhappy. Every tantrum, every episode of anger, and every failure shakes our very core.

We want to do anything in our power to ensure that our children are always happy. And that makes us worry. Worry then makes our children even more unhappy.

Here are some ways to make your child happy:

  • Understand tantrums. A tantrum is a need masked by a want. In most cases, when your child throws a tantrum, what they want is your undivided attention. Do not get fooled by the loud sounds of the tantrum and plunge deeper into work to buy the expensive ‘thing’ your child is asking for. Sit down and connect. Talk and play with your child.
  • Allow your child to ‘do’ things. Many of us operate from the mistaken belief that doing everything for our children is love. This, however, makes children feel incapable and redundant. There is no joy like the joy of contributing.
  • Allow your child to be themselves. Do not compel them to match your image of perfection by constantly comparing and criticizing.
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3. How can I ensure that my child lives up to their potential?

“We can see so much potential. But should we push our children to practice and compete? Or should we just relax and allow things to flow?”

This dilemma grips many parents. They worry incessantly that their child may be a prodigy and may miss the boat to greatness because of them.

How to help children realize their potential without stress? Here are some tips for working parents:

  • Build your child’s self-esteem by allowing them to take on new challenges and overcome them. Do not ensure success by encouraging them to choose safe options.
  • Ensure that you are not a roadblock in your child’s path because of preconceived notions of valuable talent. Encourage your child to pursue whatever they are passionate about with enthusiasm.
  • Inspire your child with your own passion. Pursue something with all your heart so that your child gets caught up in your positive vibe.

4. How can I regulate my child’s device use?

Worrying about device use is normal, natural, and necessary if you are a parent. Because, as useful as devices may be, they can turn into forces that addict and overpower.

Here are some ways to regulate your child’s device use:

  • Connect with your child. Any addiction is always because of a lack of human connection.
  • Help your child to create from what they consume. Passive consumption of media is pointless and harmful. However, as soon as the consumption is used to create, it becomes valuable.
  • Give your child control in the real world. Children who feel powerless look for control in the virtual world.
  • Help your child learn how to identify valuable virtual connections and filter out harmful ones.

5. How can I protect my child from bullying?

Bullying is a word that all of us dread as parents. However, in trying to prevent bullying, most of us focus on monitoring and controlling the actions of the bully.

The only way to prevent bullying is to fortify your child’s mind against bullying.

How to fortify your child against bullying?

  • Celebrate your child’s differences. Do not fill your child with shame about being different. Bullies play on our fear of being different.
  • Do not withdraw your love when your child does not please you. Children who fear losing their parents’ love at the drop of a hat are the ones who are most prone to bullying.
  • Do not fill your child with the fear of failure. Bullies victimize those who are afraid of failing. Teach your child to keep trying without giving up.

It is impossible to love without worrying.

However, as parents, it is important to steer clear of allowing worry to overpower us. Because when it does, it can destroy our relationship with our children.

It can make our children feel small because they lose confidence and self-esteem. And it can make them resent us for it.

The emotional distance that this resentment creates sets our children up for dangers that we cannot protect them from.

And can make all our worries come true. Let us work our way past parenting worries.

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