As a foster parent and teacher, gaining the respect of teens is a daily consideration. These teens come into my life hurt and untrusting.
Parenting is no walk in the the park. However, mutual respect can ease tension and help bring you closer to your teenager. All you have to remember is CIP (Communication, Interest, and Praise).
In order to gain your teen’s respect, you have to communicate with them. Start by asking about their day. Listen to details and pick up on body language.
As parents, sometimes we are tempted to “help” our teens by telling them what to do and how to do it. As kids get older, they yearn for independence. As such, a more two sided conversational approach can be more effective in both building respect and good relationships. Always start by asking permission before giving suggestions. That way, your teen feels more in control and an argument is less likely.
One of the most important things is to be honest, sincere, and relatable. Go a step further and “practice what you preach”. Show your teen that what you are asking of them IS possible. If you keep your room clean, you won’t look like a hypocrite when you ask 16-year-old Ben to clean his room.
When building a positive relationship with your teen, talk about their goals, accomplishments and hobbies. Try not to butt in with advice or stories of your teenage years. The Bible tells us to motivate one another and build each other up.
Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
— Hebrews 10:24-25 NLT
Showing interest is a huge part of building trust and respect.one way to show interest is by asking questions. For exampl, if you’re driving Alice to soccer practice, ask about her team, favorite position, or how she thinks they’re going to do in the next game- find something they love talking about.
When your teen seems to be in a pickle, don’t just rush in to save the day- offer help, but don’t push it if they say no.
Lastly, recognize accomplishments! If you respect and appreciate your teen for their hard work, they will see that you care. Just remember CIP (Communication, Interest, and Praise).
You CAN Do This!
Parenting a teen isn’t easy, but you’ll get through it much easier if mutual respect exists.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2022 Miranda Hurtado