Just Because You're Now "Mommy", Doesn't Mean You Stop Being a Woman
The Urban Dictionary defines a “Hot Momma” as: “A woman 35-45 years of age who finally decides to shape up, lifting weights and getting 6-pack abs so their teenage kid's friends will think they are hot, resulting in better popularity for their children and better morale for the mother who really wants teenage guys to think she's hotter than the teenage girls.
‘Let's hang out at his house because his mom's a hot mamma!’”
Okay, well, that definition doesn’t completely apply to me- nor do I want it to- but I do know that I am attempting to balance my role as mom with… me. You become a mother and halter tops are replaced with burp rags, designer purses with diaper bags, and trendy hair styles with a ponytail. Does it have to be this way? I know for myself I’m fighting every day to maintain my individuality and my femininity. Yes, I’m a mother, and I adore that role; but I am still a woman. And as I chase after that enigma I believe is possible, let’s discuss a ten ways to be a hot mama.
1. Realize that you’re worth it
Yes, you are worth it! You’re not only a mother, you’re a woman. You’re not just “mom”, you are a person. And as every other person on earth is deserving of respect, care, and time; so are you. Take a good look in the mirror and tell yourself that first off.
2. Understand you’re not cheating your kids by taking care of yourself
Many moms feel that to take care of themselves means they’re neglecting their children. Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, taking care of yourself will make you a better mother. When you spend a few minutes alone, a few minutes on you, you will boost your attitude and self-confidence. And a mommy who loves herself is better able to love her kids.
3. Get dressed every day
Sorry, this doesn’t include pajamas or sweats. I know it won’t happen first thing in the morning, and I know you might have to change (more than once) before the end of the day due to the “deposits” your children leave on your clothes; but getting dressed will mentally shift your mind to start the day. It will signal your attitude that this is a new day with new possibilities. Even if we spend the whole day inside, this is our job. Show a little respect. (Important note: All mothers of infants younger than six weeks old are exempt from #3.)
4. Wear clothes that fit
You’re not doing yourself any favors when you wear baggy, droopy clothes. I know what you’re going to say, stop right there: “But they’re comfortable!” Yes, they are. But there are beautiful, well-fitted clothes out there that are also comfortable. Leave the old t-shirts and sweats for bed. If you are absolutely determined to fit into your old clothes, take the advice of Weight Watchers and at least shop for temporary clothes that fit at a thrift store or Goodwill. Which leads to our next point…
5. Accept your body the way it is right now
Yes, we can all let out a collective sigh for the changes pregnancy and breastfeeding have made to our bodies. Say hello to cellulite, stretch marks, and drooping… extremities. I know we’re all looking forward to the day when we will reclaim our old bodies, be it through diet, exercise, or surgery; but that day is not now. So sigh all you want, but accept your body as it is. Change will come another day. Those imperfections and droops that you despise are marks left behind by our children, showing the miraculous feat our bodies were able to accomplish.
6. If the house needs painting…
Look in the mirror in the morning and aren’t overjoyed by what you see? Join the club. And do something about it! Slap a little makeup on that face and see a vast improvement. I know you “don’t have time”, no mother does. If you haven’t yet, catch the second half of What Not to Wear on TLC and catch the beautiful Carmindy’s “five-minute-face”. It really is possible- I do it every morning.
7. Work up a sweat
Boost your self-confidence and become that hot mama with exercise. We all aim to do this, and we all struggle for the time, but it can be done. And it’s going to require exercise to truly be hot! Don’t have any equipment? Join a gym or get outdoors. It’s impossible with kids? Involve them! Go on a bike ride, play outside with them or- my favorite- turn on some loud music and dance like crazy!
8. Get back in bed
That’s right, ladies. A great way for you to be a hot mama is to have sex. (Since I’m a follower of Jesus Christ and believe the Bible is God’s Word for living, I should qualify this by saying only if you’re married- and that would be with your spouse.) I know that this one can be a time challenge too, and not feeling like a hot mama is part of what’s kept you out of the bedroom. But trust me on this one. Take a leap of faith- into bed- and your level of sexiness will go up a notch.
Hot Mama by Trace Adkins
9. See yourself through your significant others’ eyes
Chances are, your significant other looks at you and sees a more beautiful person than you can imagine. Your children (especially if they’re young) see all the good in you. Let yourself be affirmed by their measure of your beauty. And start believing that you are as beautiful as they think- because you are.
10. Don’t be afraid to pamper yourself once in a while
Lastly, do something that’s just for you. Is there a hobby you had before your children were born that you’ve let slide? It’s time to pick it back up again. For me, it’s writing things like this for you! I also love to read, so I make a few minutes for that each night when my girls are in bed. What is it that makes you feel alive and lose track of time? Make time for that. It will make you a better mom.
In the end...
In the end, being a hot mama is hardly at all about how you look- that’s only a small piece of the pie- it’s about your attitude, your confidence. Be brave, take on a few of the tips above that you’re not doing yet. I promise you’ll start to feel like one hot mama.
healthmom on May 29, 2013:
Surfed by and enjoyed reading your hub. Kids sometimes have a way of making a beautiful woman feel she is not worthy of caring for herself!
Sarah Songing (author) on July 29, 2010:
Sorry you can't be a hot mama! There must be some great name for dads though, right...? ;)
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
tom hellert from home on July 25, 2010:
Alas I will never be a hot mom- or a mom... but thanks for the tips I shall use them secretly on my wife- if I can keep my hands off long enough to impliment it-
Sarah Songing (author) on May 01, 2009:
Thanks for reading and commenting, thelesleyshow! We all give in to "comfortable" once in awhile. You gotta know when to throw the rules out the window and just do what works for a day or two. :)
Thanks for passing my hub on. One of the best gifts you can give a writer!
TheLesleyShow from US on April 30, 2009:
I'm break the law of oversized clothes daily. It's just "comfortable" like you said.
Great article. I am going to share it right now on Facebook because I think it's that good and informative! Thumbs up!
Sarah Songing (author) on February 08, 2009:
Congratulations to you, Goldentoad! You are lucky to have a hot mama in your life. (Now make sure you appreciate all her hard work. Hmm, maybe a back massage?)
goldentoad from Free and running.... on February 08, 2009:
My hot mama is exercising as I type this out, good for her, better for me.
Sarah Songing (author) on February 06, 2009:
Thank you, Mrs. DKY. I do my best!
DeeKY on February 06, 2009:
Excellent article! I like how you put it all together so simply!
Sarah Songing (author) on January 29, 2009:
Thanks for the affirmation, Christa! I don't think I'm the foremost expert on being a "hot mama", but I'm trying my best. I'm so glad to hear these tips work for you too. Stay hot...
Christa Dovel from The Rocky Mountains, North America on January 27, 2009:
For years my husband has called me a hot momma, and I can fully agree with every point you made. As a mother, it is so important to take that little bit of time to care for myself. It makes so much difference not only in how I feel, but how my husband sees me and how the children treat me.