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Family Feuds During the Holidays- How to Get Through It

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The holidays is usually my favorite time of year. I love the cooler weather, the pumpkin and peppermint flavored foods and drinks, the bright lights on the Christmas trees, and the enticing smell of the food that my mom and grandma make every year.

However, what I never look forward to is being under one roof with my family for too long. As I live in a different state from then for work, the holidays is usually when I get to be with them. Due to the pandemic, our family time is quite shorter and there's less family members. But one thing that made sure to show up this year (and every other year before this), is family DRAMA. I find that it is hard to escape. This year has been stressful for so many of us and I was hoping to be very happy to be home for a few days while relaxing with family. Instead, arguments and fights have been the thing that has taken place. Name-calling, silent-treatments, and passive-aggressive bickering has been taking place. Generational differences have been showing up at the kitchen table along with unhealed wounds.

How can one get through this? For starters, if you are in a similar situation as myself, please know that I empathize with you and I am sending you a virtual hug. With everything going on in the world, you would think families would love on each other more, but that isn't the case when you and your family have been impacted by COVID-19 in many different ways than one on top of other personal things you may be going through.

Next, know that you will get through this. If you are like me and you have your own place but are staying with family for a few days, I'm sure the countdown to going back to your place has already started. I keep telling myself "a few more days Foxy". I also recommend trying to find a quiet space in the house to avoid being around people who may trigger you or can cause arguments. I have been staying in my room for the most part as it has been peaceful to do so.

Another thing is stepping out the house for a bit. Of course, I double mask up and practice social distance, but I go out for longer walks at the park or around the neighborhood. Doing this allows me to cool off and sped time with myself to clear my head. Sometimes being in the house with someone I just bickered with causes me to feel like I am spinning out of control and going for walks has been helpful.

The last thing that I have been doing is connecting with trusted individuals and talking to them for support. My therapist and best-friends have been extremely supportive throughout all of this. If you have a trusted friend, family member, partner, or therapist you can talk to, I highly encourage it.

I am sending love to everyone during these trying and tough times. If you ever feel that you are in danger, please seek support by contacting law enforcement. Also, it is okay to not be with family and spending the holidays with friends or just connecting virtually if you feel like your situation is just too toxic. I love you all and HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

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