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Child Abuse : Signs, Tragic Mistakes and Ways to Deal with Emotional Abuse.

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Child abuse is defined as every act that causes trauma, injury, pain, fear, threat, a sense of guilt or dislike,even death and can lead to a child's serious psychical, mental and psychological damage and in most severe cases to fatality.


It is recognised as : sexual, psychical, emotional-psychological, and in later years negligence is also taken as a form of abuse.

The most difficult among all to diagnose, is emotional abuse but it is certified by researches that whenever a child is abused in any other of the aforementioned forms or a combination of the above, it is always also emotionally abused.

Psychological/ emotional child abuse actions can include reject, bullying, isolation, exploitation and socially deviating behaviors.

The sentimentally and psychologically abused, therefore unstable, child appears to other people (who are falsely rushed to put a label on the child) as a person :

  • depressive
  • with aggressive behavior
  • a lot of stress


What are the signs that could trigger some thoughts ?


Children that have been abused could tend to:

  • cry far more easier than an average child of the same age
  • suffer from more nightmares
  • have strange fears and phobias
  • be more demanding than before
  • have that " freezing look" as a typical facial expression
  • have sudden range bursts
  • develop a sense of cautiousness and seem to have the urge to be ready for anything bad that is about to happen
  • are over compliant and submissive
  • are too aggressive and at times also suicidal
  • incline towards others and desperately want to just run away from all
  • seem to have a reduced ability to find something that pleases them.


Signs that could also alert parents, teacher and any adult :

  • If a child suddenly feels it has no worth
  • has often headaches or stomach aches that medicine or other psychological reasons can not explain
  • if a child comes first at school and other activities and stays until late with no intention and will to return home
  • any sudden change in the child's behavior at school
  • any sudden learning difficulty
  • has sudden aggressive behavior
  • tends to just run away from everything


Parents make tragic mistakes when they :

  • pass constant negative judgement such as "You are useless", " You are a bad boy/girl", "Gosh, you are so stupid" and so on.
  • keep on counting against their child when always comparing it to others that do better at school.
  • create a sense of guilt to the child (e.g " I'm gonna die because of you" "It's all your fault")
  • humiliate their child ( e.g. "I wish you weren't born", " what have I done to deserve a child like you?" )
  • reject and deprive their child from love,support,tenderness,guidance and affection.
  • have extreme forms of punishment like locking in dark rooms and deprivation of food and/or water.


Some steps we could take as parents:

  • to be a loving parent. Children need to feel they are loved, special and capable of making dreams and trying to make them come true.
  • to help out other parents by babysitting their child and letting them have some time for themselves or for each other. Being a parent is not an easy thing to do and we know it.
  • whenever everyday problems seem to get into to us, let us just take a break and have some moments in privacy instead of bursting out to our children. It's not their fault anyway.
  • always keep an eye on whatever your child is watching on t.v or surfs in the net.
  • be patient and seek inner calm. Is we are O.K , so wil our child be.
  • most and above all. . . . treat your child as equal, with all the love it deserves. That way it would be a strong, happy,creative, new member in society.

The World Day for Prevention of Child Abuse is on November 19, although the world's children should need no world days to remind them they have rights.


After all. . . . .

Let us all remember that self respect as well as abuse , are taught by example.

© 2012 litsabd

Comments

litsabd (author) on December 03, 2014:

I am so sorry Angie your grandson had to go through such hell. I am not a certified professional here, therefore I can only state facts. However, I have friends of mine that are psychologists specialized in abuse-related cases. They can help you with whatever issues you may have, and your grandson, so he lives a healthy (both emotionally and sentimentally) life. I can give you their info, if you send me a message with your email.

Other than that, here are some child abuse hotlines that may be of some use to you:

US or Canada: 1-800-422-4453 (Childhelp)

UK: 0800 1111 (NSPCC Childline)

Australia: 1800 688 009 (CAPS)

New Zealand: 0800-543-754 (Kidsline)

Other international helplines: ChiWorld.org

Thank you for stopping by....

angie massey on July 26, 2014:

Hi my grandson was two when he started showing signs my x boyfriend touched him. Its been a year and I feel I did not protect him now it so bad I wont even let a man come arould him I start to penance im afrade im going to make it where my grandson is Afrade of everyone. Its coming between me and my kids I need help I dont know how to dill with this

litsabd (author) on January 11, 2014:

Dear TheHopefulPoet,

I am very sorry to read about the effects of your abuse during the tender ages. Parents bear a very serious role, when parenting, which affects their children's life. A lot can be said and much more can be done to prevent child abuse; however, it all lies in one's tolerance for things happening around and inside them. I mean, societies are sometimes too tolerant in emotional child abuse cases, because there are no visible, clean signs of it. One needs to carefully look and care to find out...and unfortunately, people nowadays are too busy trying to make ends meet that they do not have (or want to have) time for their next-door neighbor and what is going on there.

Anyway, you got help, which is very good, and most of all, you managed to step out of your negative mother's role model and become a wonderful, loving mother to your kids. You are certainly a hopeful poet in a world where hope is greatly wanted!

Jennifer from Florida on November 30, 2013:

You hit a LOT of valid points with this hub. I know from experience. My mother is a very emotionally abusive person. I'm pretty sure she doesn't realize she is but that doesn't really help the situation. I am 31 years old now and have no relationship with her but the abuse still effects me. I suffer from sever depression as a direct result of her abusive words. I tried many times to get help from DCF (HRS back then) but even when the investigating counselors knew that things were bad there was never anything they could do because nothing could be proven. As long as the house was fairly clean, there was food in the fridge and cabinets and there were no signs of physical abuse...they would just close the case and do nothing. Children really do learn what they live. I just wish more parents understood what that actually means. On the upside, I knew very early on what kind of parent I would NOT be and make it a habit to show my children with love, encouragement, compassion and understanding.

litsabd (author) on September 13, 2013:

I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through Brenda. Child abuse is a painful subject that touches us all...well, most of us anyway...

May God give you strength...

brenda meinhart on September 10, 2013:

my 2 year old grand daughter was mollested by her fathers family,, (sister) (friend)and i dont know who else, but they gave her gonorrihea, she is only 2 and helpless.SAD very SICK PEOPLE, her mother (MY DAUGHTER) is only 18, now very sad confused, she thought she could trustb them, well now i dont trust anyone!!!my grand daughter is with me now i will protect her. police better do something, i dont know what ill do when i see them, and i will, my town to small

Dr Pandula from Norway on May 18, 2013:

Thank you for sharing! Every parent, any grownup for that matter, should know how to identify these signs as early as possible.

litsabd (author) on May 14, 2013:

Thank you justmesuzanne :)

justmesuzanne from Texas on May 14, 2013:

Good tips, advice and resources! Voted up and useful! :)

Shannon Henry from Texas on March 17, 2013:

This is a good reminder that emotional abuse can come from places other than the home.

Esther Strong from UK on September 12, 2012:

Very interesting and thought provoking. So sad that little innocents are treated in this way. Thumbs up and interesting

Grace Marguerite Williams from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 01, 2012:

Many parents inadvertently emotionally abuse their children. Many parents use the art of comparison regarding their children whether it is comparing them to siblings or other non-related children. Many parents also state that their children are useless and bad.

Others routinely use threats in order to get their children to conform to the family consensus. There are only a minute percentage of parents who are not abusive in anyway-they are loving, patient, and caring regarding their children. This explains why so many people have psychological issues which need psychological and/or psychiatric invention in order to heal!

litsabd (author) on April 04, 2012:

I agree with you Neil. An abuse of any kind can create a chain series of negative effects to a child's tender soul. Thanks for your comment. Take care! :)

Nell Rose from England on March 31, 2012:

Hi, abuse is a terrible thing especially for children, even a small rejection can have a profound affect on a child, take care nell

litsabd (author) on March 31, 2012:

Thnak you Felina for your kind thoughts and I am happy you find it appealing to you.Have a blessed weekend! :)

Felina Margetty from New York, New York on March 31, 2012:

This is a very good hub and should be noticed. Thanks for this. F.

litsabd (author) on March 29, 2012:

That song also makes my heart ache because of its story. Being a parent is not something you learn or graduate from but once a parent always a parent. And being a good one is to try your best and give your best from the depths of your heart to your child. Thank you for your kind stay and time. Glad it appealed to you and voted it up. Have a prosperous day.

Heidi from Gulf Coast, USA on March 28, 2012:

That song always makes me cry. :'(

Parents must be aware of the consequences of actions and learn how to cope with the challenges of parenting in a life-giving manner.

Voted up.

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