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Caring For Mom

Pastoral Counselor ordained Elder/Minister Ambassador at Alpha 7 Ministries M.A.Christian Clinical Counseling &Certified in CreationTherapy


Always Caring For Mom



Now that I am over fifty I can really look at things through my Mother’s eyes. Today we took her some beautiful flowers. My Mom always loved fresh flowers she will always be alive in my heart. There are times that I miss her dearly; but I have peace knowing that she is resting and happily present with the Lord. I can look back and be thankful of all the time I spent with her.

In her later years my Mom gradually began to say what I now call a "slow goodbye."

My Mother was a very caring, loving, strong willed woman. She was dedicated to the Lord! I was her only daughter among my many brothers. I will always remember how she reminded me that she prayed that the Lord would give her a daughter. She named me after Deborah the only woman judge in the Bible. It was actually just abreast of her fourth decade in life that I was born.

I believe that by this time she had a pretty good handle on being a parent since I was her ninth child and as I said before her first and only natural born daughter. My parents also had ten sons! My mother was also a mother to many others...

My kind, handsome, strong father worked diligently many hours away from home providing for our family. First in furniture sales, then for the San Francisco Municipal Railways as a Street Car Driver then Night Supervisor. Then he became one of the first bi-racial men of color to manage, operate and run, a Richfield Atlantic Service Station. He was organized, skillful, talented and liked everything in place. He was raised by a Methodist Woman Minister of God. My father was always kind to me. One thing he was firm on I was not to ever pump gas. Or spend much time at the Service Station unless I was in the office. Back then there were only male uniformed attendants to service your automobile. Whenever you purchased gas they always courteously checked your oil/ water and washed your windows.

My how times have changed. He also thoroughly enjoyed fishing and going out on the lake in his boat.

Growing up

My Mother adorned me with all the girly trimmings for as long as I can remember. Frilly Priscilla curtains festooned my bedroom windows and a big tall white wrought iron bed. I think I wore pink linen and organza full skirted dresses with embroidered flowers with matching bloomers in case it was windy. Pink satin ribbons to match adorned my hair seems like forever for special occasions. Along with Gloves. Let’s not forget to mention how I had to stay up while she attentively pinned curled my hair with bobby pins on Saturdays for long bouncy curls or a pony tail on Sunday. This was almost until I was thirteen years old. I eventually was able to turn in my white ruffled dress socks for cinnamon colored stockings and patent leather French heeled pumps.

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My Mother was born in the early 1900’s and that was the thing to do way back then for a girl child. Especially since, as God's child and her only daughter I should always look my best! Not to impress but because it was important that I was raised to be a lady among many brothers. I was especially elated that she spent many hours laboring at her much lavished Singer Sewing machine fabricating me a plethora of uniquely designed everyday dresses.

When school started there was one dress for each day of the week. She also made me matching bloomers to wear over my under garments. I can remember her up and about praying & sewing more nights than I remember her sleeping and resting making more dresses all throughout the year. I received my first pair of genuine cultured pearls at (8) eight years old. I remember going shopping for a double breasted wool & camel hair coat and accessories for each winter. She even had a particular shoe salesperson that would fit my narrow feet for white leather oxfords and patent leather dress shoes at Sommer & Kaufman each semester for school. It was not so much the clothes but the care, concern & love. I am forever thankful for the parents the Lord blessed me with.

All of my life I have been a part of God's Church. I confessed Christ right before i turned (5) five, continually growing in His Grace... I cannot remember not knowing GOD. I realize as long as He has me on this side of Heaven there is always room for more spiritual growth. I was regularly a delegate to the Annual State Church Conferences. Sunday School, Choir, Usher board and Christian Youth Fellowship. I taught Vacation Bible School and even taught her Sunday School class from time to time. I received my 1st certification for religious studies when I was thirteen years old.

I was a part of the academic Gifted and Talented Program throughout school. I am comfortable in the background, sidelines or the forefront. My Mother had me to also start partaking extra Lux Lab classes to learn Photography and Classical Piano starting early in elementary school. I now realize the many sacrifices my Mother made for me and the love my parents had for me... My mother instilled perseverance within me and an ever increasing LOVE for the LORD. I was taught it was more important what GOD knows about us rather than what others think? That I should feel comfortable in the presence of whomever. This was my legacy. Coming from humble endearing beginnings makes you really appreciate the preciousness of time.

Time in fact is really a precious priceless gift.

Years later on another occasion I can remember the day my husband asked her if he could marry me. He will tell you while dating that me, him and a brother went to the movies. And a brother often accompanied me to the High School Football games. Since we were so young I was a bit queasy as to how she would respond. He had excelled and graduated early from high school at sixteen. He would assure her we both would certainly continue on to college when he spoke to her... So I had chosen not to be present. My Mother was in her late 20’s when she married my father.

Here I was a mere 17 getting engaged. I could only wonder what she would say. She had planned that I go on a college tour and………. But whatever my then, husband to be said to her, he surely won her over. It was at that time that they bonded. He became another son to her. We married the following year after a year of engagement & after I had graduated. I had an elegant hand intricately long embroidered wedding dress from Joseph Magnin and she personally fabricated and hand crafted me a Vogue sheer long sleeved floor length satin heavenly aqua colored gown with delicately trimmed rhinestones and sequins for our reception.

Raising children

To our delight we were blessed with a beautiful bubbly precious healthy smiling little girl first! I felt so blessed. She couldn't not get here soon enough for her Dad. She was actually born on Monday after Father's Day! We still celebrated! My Mom was so elated! When our very own daughter was born she too adorned and lovingly fabricated her with the same delicately made pink and assorted pastel colored embroidered dresses. Each time my children were born (we also had four more sons) she came to our home for an extended visit. We spent many nights just enjoying the company of one another. I always appreciated the way she enjoyed, respected and loved our children and my husband. They loved and respected her. She was so proud that my husband loved the Lord and was a great father. He became a 1st generation upper level Executive Corporate Technology Manager, when he was but (21) twenty one... She was thankful that we both worked together in our Business and Ministry as well as raising our children...

Mom's Homegoing

I knew somewhat, but it was not really until her “Home going" celebration that I realized just how special her relationship was with my husband. My husband/pastor paid a tribute to her by playing one of her favorite hymns. "His Eye Is On The Sparrow!" (She had always reminded me that the Lord was forever watching over me...) It was at that moment he shared with the many guests that were present, that in over (30) thirty+ years there had never been a cross word between the two of them. I don’t know many son-in–laws that can say that! Especially since my husband is also a very strong willed Man of God. These are just a few of the many precious memories that I cherish to this day. There are so many many more. My Mother taught me to be tender yet strong but always seek the Lord's will.

Little did I know until much later on in life how those memories would get me through the changes, challenges and transitions that her life encountered. Age has a way of creeping up on you. It gradually robbed her of all her much adored independence. Her gifts, talents and strength that she profusely exuded gradually beginning to diminish. My Mom was always a strong figure in my life. I always felt as a child that she was a tad stern. She raised me to be strong, autonomous, cautious and responsible. This of course is understandable since I was her one and only daughter. No doubt she was protective. She was a very intelligent an educated woman. She was well respected by her academic colleagues. It was when I was in Jr. High that she entered into teaching. She wore many hats as a wife, Mother, teacher and actively took on many roles and a list of responsibilities at her place of worship. She was favored and known in the community. She was A Stewardess, adviser and confidant to many pastors and people of all ages. Let’s not forget her excellence as a seamstress, gourmet cooking skills and passion for gardening!