You can cut ties!
Do you have toxic people in your life?
Of course, you do! Everyone has. It seems to be a part of life that no one can escape. Toxic people can come in a wide selection. Boyfriends/ girlfriends/ bosses or parents can all fall under the category of a toxic person. Toxic people can have a wide variety of traits that make them toxic. They can be narcissistic, they can just be controlling, or they can be abusive. Self-absorbed or single-minded can also be traits that toxic people possess although not always.
Webster's Dictionary defines the word toxic as " containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation."
Now that we've talked about that a little bit, I am nearly positive that you have had time to name at least one toxic person that is a part of your life. I am sure that on more than occasion they have caused you stress, pain or added unneeded conflict to your life.
Everybody has a toxic person in their life, and what not everyone realizes is that they don't have to keep that person around. I don't care if that person is your mom, your dad, the father or mother of your children, or another friend or relative, there is no law that says you HAVE to KEEP them around.
Seems simple enough, but a lot of people have a hard time breaking ties. There are a lot of reasons for that. Regardless of the reason that you haven't yet broken ties with the toxic person or persons in your life, I am here to tell you how you can cut ties with them in three easy steps!
The First Step: Deciding to cut ties.
Deciding to do something is always the first step to actually doing that thing. In this case, it's probably the most important step to cutting ties with the toxic person in your life.
Some people can cut ties way easier than others. I am a little more detached than your average everyday Jane Doe. Some would say that is because of everything that I have been to. I am in NO way trying to throw a pity party and say that my life has been harder than everyone or anyone else's but I do think the way my life has gone has made it so that I am more detached. Because of this, I can cut ties with people fairly easily. I also don't keep a very big circle, which may have something to do with the current topic, or it may not. You can decide.
Either you are like me and your mind is made up fairly quickly about cutting ties, or you are one of the people who have to dwell and think about it for a decent amount of time before you make the decision to actually follow through and cut ties.
The Second Step: The Two ways to Cut Ties
Once you have decided that it is time to cut ties with the toxic person in your life, there are two ways for you to go about doing this.
The first way is a little less dramatic depending on how you look at it, although it takes a lot more time and is not as clean of a break or a cut.
When you decide to cut ties, a lot of people don't feel right about it without first saying their peace or telling the person why they are cutting them off. Which is one way to do it. This is a lot messier because usually the toxic person has been trying to control you in one way or another and they will use that to try to keep you from walking away or cutting ties. Because of that, I would not recommend this option. It usually gets drawn out because the person you are trying to walk away with knows they are losing traction with you and will say or do anything to keep you around.
The second way, which is the way I chose because it was to the point and it would be the cleanest break. You can simply just stop all ways of communication with the toxic person. It's simple and easier than you think it is. The toxic person that I most recently cut ties with was my mother. We haven't had a good relationship for as long as I can remember, and she was getting to my mental health and affecting it in ways that I long wanted to hide or deal with. It started a couple of months ago when I blocked her ability to text or call me on my cell phone. I then deleted her from Facebook and blocked both her ability to see my Facebook page and her ability to contact me via Facebook. It was that simple. I didn't give her any reasoning. I didn't say anything, I just went dark. It's been very beneficial to me, and it's only been just over a week since I did it.
Regardless of which way you decide to cut ties, you can do it. Do what feels right to you. Some people need closure more than others so the first way is more their speed, whereas others are more like me and just want to be able to walk away without the toxic person being able to contact them again. This may not be the hardest step, but it is definitely the biggest step.
Now a lot of you are probably wondering why I said there are three steps when you can clearly read that the second step is the actual cutting of ties, but ye of little faith just wait and read on. There is one last crucial step.
The Third and Final Step: Moving on with your life
Once you have cut all ties with the toxic person in your life, you have one last thing to do. This one is probably the most exciting of the three steps! You get to move on with your life and be happy!
Depending on who the toxic person was to you, this might be a time for extreme celebration. Although regardless of who they were to you, you deserve to celebrate at least a little bit.
You did it! You cut a toxic person out of your life, you saw your self-worth and took it upon yourself to do something good for yourself and your well-being!
You are beautifully made and don't ever forget you DESERVE to be happy and in charge of your own life and happiness.