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Are You Too Busy to Notice, That Your Child Is Lonely

Being a parent and teacher,Chitrangada writes with practical understanding and experience about parenting issues and also provides solutions

Lonely child can grow into a complex personality.

Lonely child can grow into a complex personality.

Lonely child can develop low self-esteem

Lonely child can develop low self-esteem

Busy Parents and Lonely Children

Some examples that you may have noticed around you---

1. A small boy, aged around five, developed cavities in his tiny teeth.

2. Another small girl, aged around seven, put on a lot of weight at such a tender age.

3. Have you noticed, children biting their nails, or bed wetting, even when they have crossed that age.

4. There are children, who lack self confidence, find it difficult to communicate, are self conscious, or have low self esteem.

5. Speech defects, such as stammering, lack of coordination, while having food, or doing any other work.

The Reason

  • Parents of such children, may be senior executives in big companies, and they do not have enough time for their children.
  • Of course, they have employed caretakers for their childre. But can they take care of the children, as properly as, the parents themselves.
  • To keep them engaged, they are either given chocolates or cookies, and their mouth may not be cleaned properly after that.
  • Or they are engaged, to watch Television, like a couch potato.
  • There can be many stories, such as these, around you.
  • Have you noticed, small children sitting, and peeping from their windows.
  • They might smile at you, when you look at them, might even run out of the door, only to be pulled back by their caretakers.

Parents Point Of View

When you talk to the parents about this, they might say, 'What can we do? We are doing this for their better future only.' Should we leave all the success and money at the cost of emotions?'

You do need money, for better education, and higher education, and even for a respectable living, isn't it?

They are right!

How do you understand this then?

On one side, parents struggling hard, to give a respectable living, to themselves and their children.

On another hand, a lonely child, with all the worldly riches, and facilities, but no one to share his moments of happiness, or sorrow.

Are you too busy to pay attention to your child?

Are you too busy to pay attention to your child?

Loneliness among children, Source: YouTube

Parenting Tips: How Can Loneliness Affect the Child, Adversely?

Few Decades Earlier

To leave children, with a caretaker, or a house help, was not a common thinking some three to four decades earlier.

In those days, usually the families had joint family system, and even if both the parents were working, children were not left alone in homes.

They had the company of their affectionate grandparents.

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With the prevalence of nuclear families, or single parents, the problem of lonely children is ever on the rise.

The Negative Effects of Loneliness Among The Children:

1. The Child Psychologists observe that, the Emotional and healthy development of the child can be adversely affected, if the child is left alone at the home.

2. The child might develop, a suppressed emotion, or unpleasant feelings towards relationships, including his/ her own parents.

3. The feelings of, 'Share and Care', with parents vanishes gradually. The child might in fact get close to anyone who gives him/ her company, even the wrong one.

4. It is easier to learn bad habits, than the good ones.

Watching programs which are not right for his/ her age, on T.V. or Internet, getting fascinated by criminal activities, learning to avoid studies are some of the serious results of Loneliness in chiLoren.

5. Such children, might develop sleep disorders, may not mix with family or friends, may not talk much, might develop distance from own parents.

6. Lonely children grow up into complex personalities. As such they may find it difficult to have cordial relations with anyone.

Be aware of your child’ s activities, when you are not available with him/ her

Be aware of your child’ s activities, when you are not available with him/ her

How to Find a Balance, Between Your Busy Life and Your Children?

Our Society and it’s setup is always changing, according to the new situations and requirements.

And when new things happen, it does take sometime to adjust to changes.

There is always a particular reason, for a major change in the society.

Nowadays, it is a necessity for both the parents to be in a good paying job, in order to manage a decent living.

As such, we must try to analyse the above mentioned issues, with a positive frame of mind, and find out a solution, keeping the interest of both the parents, and the children.

If, the parents understand, at the right time, and take corrective measures, there is a possibility, that the problem will be solved, and no damage will be done.

  • Howsoever, busy the parents may be, spending some quality time, with your child is a must, and can be managed, with some thoughtful planning.
  • Even if, the parents are not present physically, they should try to remain connected, mentally, and emotionally, even in the smallest activities of their children.
  • It’s not to difficult too, in this age of technology.
  • It is the responsibility of the parents, to give direction to their child' s thinking, or thought process. This, can be done by their own behaviour, by setting good examples.
  • If the parents, show examples of firmness, confidence, the capability to handle difficult situations, and remain calm and collected, the children will learn, and develop the similar qualities.
  • Make your child feel special. Instead of scolding over their mistakes, explain the good, and the bad with patience.
  • Listen to them, their small fears, or even new ideas.
  • Encouraging, and inspiring the children, even in their small achievements is very important, for good nurturing, which can help in building a strong, and independent individual.

FINDING A BALANCE:

  • Many schools have engaged Counselors, to look into the rising problem of loneliness, and depression among children.
  • Do attend, Parent-Teacher meetings, to discuss issues, related to your child.
  • You never know, you might find a way, to deal with small issues, before they become big issues.
  • This issue is not an isolated problem, it can give birth to many other problems.
  • Due to more and more mothers going out of their homes, for jobs to support theIr family, and children in particular, the parents themselves, might develop differences, due to lack of communication, or out of guilt feeling.
  • They might blame each other, if the children are affected, and this may even result in broken families.
  • In order to avoid this, parents must find a balance sensibly, keeping in view the child's proper physical and emotional growth, and their own busy life and career.

Chitrangada Sharan


Further Suggested Reading

1. Loneliness in young children, via Mental Help

https://www.mentalhelp.net/child-development/loneliness-in-young-children/

2. Improving the mental health of children, via WHO

https://www.who.int/activities/Improving-the-mental-and-brain-health-of-children-and-adolescents


Children are happy, when parents are around.

Children are happy, when parents are around.

At what age your child can be left safely at home source: You tube

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2013 Chitrangada Sharan

Comments

Chitrangada Sharan (author) from New Delhi, India on November 18, 2014:

Thank you so much Mary Hyatt, for your visit and positive comments!

It was almost the same with me. Managing work and home, with small kids, is not at all easy. Hats off to all those parents, who do it with their dedication and hard work.

Thanks for voting up!

Mary Hyatt from Florida on November 17, 2014:

I was so fortunate as a child that my Mother stayed home, and was always there for me. I made a point of spending quality time with my children even though I worked out of the home. It was not easy, but I managed because I thought it was very important.

Wonderful Hub, Voted UP, etc.

Chitrangada Sharan (author) from New Delhi, India on November 17, 2014:

Thank you rebeccamealey, for your visit and positive comments!

Yes, this is a serious problem of society today. Both parents have to go out to work in order to give themselves and their children a decent living. And the child is left with caretakers or in creches.

Thanks again for appreciating the hub!

Chitrangada Sharan (author) from New Delhi, India on November 17, 2014:

Thank you Harishprasadji, for your visit and insightful comments!

You are right that it is the primary responsibility of parents to pay attention to the emotional health of their children.

Sometimes I miss the joint family system of earlier times, when the grandparents were there to teach kids, words of wisdom through their bedtime stories.

Today's World is much more competitive and parents have to work really hard to maintain balance in work and home.

Thank you for your votes, share and appreciation!

Chitrangada Sharan (author) from New Delhi, India on November 17, 2014:

Thank you Audrey, for understanding the seriousness of this issue in a child's life. This is very close to my heart, as I have seen children suffering due to this and when they are grown up, unfortunately there is lack of understanding and affection between the child and the parents. If not paid attention, the child's whole life may be affected.

Thank you so much for sharing this hub so generously.

Chitrangada Sharan (author) from New Delhi, India on November 17, 2014:

Thank you Dianna, for your encouraging words!

Who better than a teacher such as you can understand this sensitive problem !

Appreciate your comments and I am sure you must have come across some of these sad souls in your teaching career. Thanks!

Rebecca Mealey from Northeastern Georgia, USA on November 16, 2014:

I am sure you have nailed a real problem in our society. It must be so sad to be a lonely child. I hope people will read this and wake up. Thanks for writing this!

Harish Mamgain from New Delhi , India on November 15, 2014:

A very useful hub highlighting the importance of looking after kids in a proper way. The child neglect amounts to one's own neglect and it has all seeds of sprouting into repercussions later on.