Peeples is a long-term child abuse survivor who ended up in foster care. Her goal is to inform others about foster care and social issues.
The Question Asked "Why people prefer to adopt Chinese babies over white babies?"
This morning I ran across this question. I have to say the topic gets me a bit upset. As an American who also happened to be in our foster care system, and did NOT get adopted, I have an unpopular, not PC opinion on this. I'm sorry, but this will be one of those times where I will likely offend someone.
I simply can not grasp the ignorance around the topic of adoption. With that said, I'm fertile so I can not relate to mothers who desperately want an infant child. I can't relate to anyone on the topic of adoption other than those people who have actually been up for adoption here in the USA.
So Why Are International Adoptions Favorable Over Adopting From the USA?
- People assume the inaccuracies about local adoption are true instead of busting their butts to find out the correct information from local Child Protection Services. Long ago I knew a lady who worked at an adoption facility that coordinated international adoptions. She would actually brag about how she could just tell potential parents that it's "too hard to adopt locally". The parents would just believe her. For her it was just another sale, another commission in her pocket. The people that came to her were willing to just believe what she had to say instead of actually doing some research themselves.
- Parents think they are entitled to get a child without having to go through extensive screening, or assume that they do not fit the criteria to adopt from American foster care. Which leads to me to wonder do they think a kid should just be handed to anyone? This also relates to #1. People assume that they have to be perfect to adopt from the USA foster care system. I often wonder if they want a child so badly why not find out what the criteria is instead of assuming what they have heard is true. By many it is perceived to be easier to adopt from other countries.
- The infertile couples want a cute little baby. They assume there are no perfect babies in the foster care system. Guess what? There are NO PERFECT BABIES ON THE ENTIRE PLANET!!! And really do you think that cute little baby from another country will be perfect once it realizes it's parents didn't want it and it ended up being raised away from their own heritage? All babies have at least one unpredictable less than perfect trait! For some it's colic, for others it is never sleeping through the night, and for others it can be serious medical issues. My logical guess, infertile parents have likely been through hell trying to conceive so by the time it gets to adoption they want to hope for the easiest possible situation.
- People assume children in foster care here in the USA are well taken care of or not as disadvantaged as international children. They assume this amazing government we have actually protects and provides for the children in foster care. They want to feel like they are doing a good deed by adopting the most disadvantage child they can.
The Realities of Adopting U.S. Children in Foster Care
- There are over 100,000 children each year in foster care who's parental rights have been terminated forever. Either they get adopted or float through the screwed up foster system until they age out to no one.
- Adopting from foster care is CHEAP!!!! Typically adoption from foster care is either free or costs less than $5000.
- Adopting from foster care typically only takes about 1 year when some countries it can take 2-3 years to adopt.
- Each year there is an average of 10,000 - 15,000 INFANTS UNDER 1 available for adoption in foster care.
- All foster children are not "Special Needs" as many assume. However in foster care the term special needs can mean anything from an older child to a child of a race that is harder to get adopted. So when statistics show the large amount that are special needs, understand their definition of special needs might just mean that they also have a sibling in the system. Lets also be honest. If you were to birth you own child isn't there always a risk of them developing a special need? Wouldn't you love them anyway?
- Foster Children are not "taken care of" by the United States government. Sorry to say but that is simply an illusion! Children in foster care are often beat, raped, starved, and just about every other form of abuse you can think of! Just recently, here in my state, a foster child was found chained to a porch with a dead chicken around his neck! This is not some rare situation. So while you think you are saving some disadvantaged child from another country, you can do the same here!
- You do not have to be married, perfect, live in a huge house, in order to adopt from foster care. In fact on average about 30% of children adopted from foster care go to either single parents or unmarried couples including those from the LGBT community.
- ADOPTION AGENCIES ARE BUSINESSES!!! Don't forget this people. Unless they are non profit they are in a business that requires making a profit by selling children. We can nice that up all day long, but simply they are in the legal business of selling children. Why not just go straight through foster care or through a non profit group?
- Getting a foster child is NOT always easy, neither is child birth, pregnancy, or parenting so this should not be a deal breaker. Yes you have to have home inspections and interviews. This isn't a puppy or a fish you are adopting! It is a little human! One that you will be responsible for, well forever. So if getting that child was easy, it would likely not be in the best interest for the child.
By choosing to adopt local you are choosing to give a child that may even live in your city a second chance. If people would only adopt locally they could impact an entire generation of foster children. Can you imagine what it feels like to spend years in foster care, never getting adopted, feeling unwanted? Well I can!! I am the face of foster care. I am the face of someone who never got adopted! I am the face of that "special needs" foster child. I am the face of that "not a cute tiny baby" waiting for adoption.
I have seen what it really is like living in foster care. I can assure you those children are not taken care of fully like many assume. Adopt local. Would you drive past your local pet shelter when adopting a dog, ignoring the hundreds of dogs that need you there, just to go to Mexico to get a dog? Doesn't sound very logical. Be the person to change the life of a child near you. Don't support the business of selling children, and don't pretend like ALL those children in other countries got there through abandonment! Many children are kidnapped in other countries just for the purpose of selling to white Americans.
I can't say it enough people! Adopt locally!!!!! ADOPTING INTERNATIONALLY IS OFTEN MORE EXPENSIVE AND SOMETIMES MORE LENGTHY!!!
© 2015 Peeples
peter565 on September 27, 2015:
I want to share this video about the reality of international adoption https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufmQygpOhn0 it is evidence of exactly what you said, most international babies been adopted by white people, are in fact stolen babies, who are not in need of adoption.
Catherine Giordano from Orlando Florida on September 26, 2015:
I adopted an older child (age 5) from Guatemala. I was scared of a U.S. adoption because the courts here treat children like lost baggage giving it to whomever shows up with a claim check. If a long-lost relative comes calling, they will rip the child from it's new family despite the fact that the child has bonded with this new family and give it to this person who has suddenly discovered an interest in parenting. Adoption should be FINAL. If the blood relatives were not there when the child was abandoned, even if through no fault of their own, the child should not have to have its life disrupted again. The adults should suffer the loss, not the child. Thank you for writing about adoption issues.
Peeples (author) from South Carolina on August 30, 2015:
Got it and replied. Hope you got it.
Suzie from Carson City on August 30, 2015:
peeples....(Sunday night 08/30)......I just sent you an email via the HP email capacity on our sites....because I don't have your private email address. Read please. Paula ( you can delete this if you like.)
peachy from Home Sweet Home on August 04, 2015:
Wonderful hub . my niece was adopted because my brother in law first wife was baren until she married my sister in law thru traditional marraige
Akriti Mattu from Shimla, India on July 11, 2015:
Really nice post :)
Peeples (author) from South Carolina on July 10, 2015:
Eric, I am glad you got adopted no matter who it was! Thanks for coming by!
Miz, You are very right. Checks, interviews, and such are in place for a reason. I completely agree with you. The last thing a child needs is to be stuck in an orphanage or foster care only to be adopted by someone who passes away right after they bond or something similar. I'm glad they make the process a bit of work. Better than just handing kids over to whoever says they want them!
Brave, thanks for stopping by. We can't begin to really help others until we can take care of our own. Just doesn't make sense!
Paula, thanks for sharing! I think adopting internationally would be a wonderful thing, as long as there were no children available for adoption here!
Thanks for sharing and reading Peter!
peter565 on July 09, 2015:
Nice post, I just post it onto my facebook page :)
Suzie from Carson City on July 09, 2015:
The reasons you list are sound, rational and make more than enough sense for couples to realize that Americans are much wiser and better off to adopt here in our own Country. This is to say nothing of how much more positive it is for the babies/children of this Country to be adopted into capable, loving families FIRST, before even considering going abroad to adopt.
I was aware of some of these facts as well as the myths but you have explained these based on in-depth knowledge & personal experience which certainly hits this topic home where it belongs, peeples.
Your passion for this issue shines through and I commend you for being the intelligent voice for all orphans in the U.S., waiting and hoping for a home & family every day. Kudos, peeples. UP+++tweeted & pinned.
Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on July 09, 2015:
I feel we (Americans) should look to America first when reaching out for whatever cause we want to help. We have plenty of needy right here on our own turf.
I commend you for taking such a bold leap by posting this article, Peeples. You've given your readers something to think about.
Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on July 09, 2015:
What a beautiful hub, Peeples. I’m so sorry you were never adopted, but it may be just as well from some of the foster homes I’ve read about. I have a friend whose sibling and her husband adopted two children from a Baltic country because they were in their mid-to late 60s and were deemed too old to adopt by American authorities. I agree with the Americans, they were too old. The two children they adopted were in an orphanage because their widowed mother couldn’t support them, but she had visitation rights. They talked her into signing adoption papers although she knew she would never see the children she loved again. I know that it took an effort to talk her into giving up her children, but they were rich and money won out.
The children both had behavioral problems, and once they were home, the problems became almost insurmountable. Their highly intelligent 12-year-old daughter, also adopted from a foreign country, had a nervous breakdown over the changes to her life, and then the husband died because he was in poor health to begin with. My friend complained to me that nobody in the family who lived nearby would help them. I wonder why nobody wanted to step into this situation…hmmm.
Another reason I think it is attractive to adopt foreign children is because these countries make it attractive. Some of them are nearly overwhelmed with orphaned children and make it a point to advertise to Americans to “come and give these children a home”, rather than go to the expense to deal with it themselves. It’s a bad deal all around. Voted up and beautiful.
Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on July 09, 2015:
Interesting article. I was adopted from a immigrant fresh off the boat couple so I must fit somewhere in between. When I worked abroad in a developing nation the hotel I stayed at had a special for couples who were there to adopt. I saw a lot of happy babies and parents and some that were heartbroken. I get your point on the "selling" of children. But I have been in orphanages both here in the states and in developing countries and the babies looked pretty much the same to me -- needing a family.
A tough subject to write so boldly on, good job to raise awareness and thoughtfulness.
Peeples (author) from South Carolina on July 09, 2015:
Thanks Bill! Kylyssa You are correct though it is becoming easier and easier. Also most states don't have actual laws against it anymore, they just make it more difficult. Hopefully as our nation becomes more equal this will no longer be an issue, because I sure would have loved gay parents over no parents!
Kylyssa Shay from Overlooking a meadow near Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA on July 09, 2015:
I'd like to point out that not all states allow transgender, gay, or lesbian couples or individuals to adopt so local adoption is out for them.
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on July 09, 2015:
Well, I'm adopted, so I'm pretty happy someone took a chance on me. :) This isn't a topic I've given a lot of thought to, but I tend to side with you on it. There are so many unwanted children in this country...it just seems logical to me that Americans would first turn their attention to American children....for what it's worth. :)