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Waywardness of a Child - Whose Fault?

Who should be Blamed for a Child's Bad Behaviour


Parents, God has placed you high above the children in wisdom and experience. When you cry to God for children, God gives them to you. It’s unfortunate that some parents might not make heaven because of the children that God blesses them with, just as wealth has blinded the eyes of many .The gifts of children makes some parents miss their way in the service of God.

A lot of parents have forgotten the sources of their spiritual challenges and now see their children as their enemies. They are sad because of their children’s behaviors. They cause the child; they disown the child; some even wish that the child dies – I heard a mother say it before.

Mt 7:11 "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask Him!"

Whether the child is a rascal, a trouble maker, a thief; name anything, it is still a gift from God. God does not give bad gifts to people. People make what God gives them bad.

You may not want to hear this – that if your child is bad, it is you. If you are able to notice that your child is wayward, it means that you have not done your duty well as a parent; therefore, you should blame yourself.

“Children, obey your parents…” most Christian parents are very familiar with this words of the bible; but sorry, it is not your business. It is not your religious right for the child to obey you. If your child does not obey you, it will not vindicate you in the presence of God. And if he obeys you hundred percent such that in your entire life with the child, you cannot record any moment of grieve from his disobedience, that will not give you an automatic license to heaven. You are you and your child is him/her. Your spiritual roles are totally independent each other’s. So do what you have to do and let the child do what he or she has to do as you both have different instructions from God to carry out.

One thing parents must be sensitive to is that the success recorded in the child’s behavior is credit to them, if the parents actually work for them. And if the life of the child is a failure, the parent must share in the blame, because the upbringing of the child is the parents’ sole responsibility.

Pr 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Child upbringing is just like building a machine. What do you want the machine to do? When you are through building the machine, the machine should not start doing something else. When a child is born his/her attitude is not defined. You build the child into a personality that at maturity becomes an indelible part of the child. But many times, we leave these responsibilities to the society – filled with unsorted characters.

Don’t duel on understanding what your children should do to you or to God, but duel more on understanding what you are to do to your child and to God. What matters is your own role. On the last day, that is only where your question would come from – how well did you bring up your children? Were they respectful as a result of the good training you gave them?

In Samuel 1, 1:11 Hannah took a bold step. She said “… oh lord almighty, if you will look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the lord for all the days of his life…”

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Hannah was not going to live with Samuel all the days of his life but she knew what she would do to keep him in the presence of God all the days of his life.

What would you do to keep your child and retain the joy you had when you him or her? We will talk about it.

© 2012 factsknowing


factsknowing (author) from Jos on April 03, 2012:

Thank you for reading.

You are very correct. But then understand that Adam and Eve were Adults. A child reaches the age of discretion and his destiny, as often said, is left in his hand.

So, when you are grown up, and you decide to change,that is left to you. Wait to read the child's part of the same responsibility.

Thank you once again.

Heidi from Gulf Coast, USA on April 03, 2012:

You mention God in the mix -- so is He accountable for Adam & Eve's rebellion in the Garden? While I agree parents must RAISE their children through instruction and discipline - society cannot forget that children have a free will -- just like Adam and Eve...

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