My grandma passed away early this year. I wasn't there with her when her time came!! Oh, how I regret that - not being beside her to say a last goodbye, to speak to her to my heart's content, to care for her during her last days. I wish I had known her time was coming, but alas you never know until the time comes!! She was old and had her usual medical problems, but they always resolved and I stayed far from her, so always assumed that it is one of those things related to old age. How would I have known that this was different? How I wish I'd somehow known this was different! My grandfather passed away in similar circumstances - quite suddenly!! I hadn't seen him in some years. He used to ask about me to my mom and dad when they visited him. I always thought I'd make it to see him the next year, but that next year never came!! It's a regret I've always had. Now, much the same thing had happened with my grandma. How cruel life is sometimes. It doesn't give second chances!! But then, we take things for granted too - don't we?
My grandma was a very loving woman. I didn't meet her often. We stayed quite a distance away from them, but I'd meet her once a year and spend a month or two at her place. The moments I've spent at my grandma's were the most memorable ones of my life. I still remember them fondly. Grandma's just love you so much more - my grandmother sure did! My parents were very loving and caring, but my grandma was that much more to me. She was so doting and caring and nurturing. She was a strong woman - the woman I adored the most!!
Though I regret not being there with her during her last days, I do feel fortunate that I was able to share my joy of having my own little daughter with her. She was alive to see her grand-daughter and it was one of the happiest moments of my life to be able to have my grandma hold my little baby girl. Though I wish she had lived longer and seen my daughter grow up, I am happy she was there to share in my happiest moment and see her grandchild. She had started forgetting things and people, but she remembered me. I just felt so close to her!!
It is sad that as we grow older, we lose connection with our loved ones. I wish I could have done so many things differently in hindsight. I wonder if I could have taken the news of her not keeping well seriously and not dismissed it as one of the usual illness old age brings. Although, I miss her greatly and know would feel a sense of emptiness the next time I visit her place, I feel proud of her too - for the way she lived, the way she brought up her kids, for the way she loved us - her grandchildren!!
The love of a grandma is unique. God must have given grandmothers to us to liven up our lives, to make our lives more complete, to make us well rounded and better human beings. The love of a grandma is unconditional, unselfish, unending. I loved my grandma when she was alive and would love her as long as I live!! I forget sometimes, but I try to remember all that she taught me. I would always miss her. With her passing, I've lost a piece of my existence!!
Love you grandma - You truly were a special, special woman! You may have passed on, but your memories would always live on within me. I am sure we'd meet some day in another world!!
© 2009 Shil1978
mamta singh on January 07, 2015:
Today on 7 at 2 am my grandmother passed away .she is about 102 years old.
But she is unique to me and I always miss her lot.if I fullfill the dream and blessing of my grandmother then it is true and real tribute to my dearest aama.
your story is same as my grandmother story ,I like it.
Shil1978 (author) on September 07, 2013:
Thank you, Noam, for stopping by and sharing your story - I can understand and relate with it. She'd always be with you and you'd no doubt meet her one day! Live your life as she would have wished you would and make her proud!
noam on September 07, 2013:
I have lost my grand mom year ago and its feels like 10. My grand mom raised me. Every thing that happen in my life sience then i am connecting to her .I belive that she is protecting me , and with me whenever i go , and says thank you for everything that happends to me because i believe that she is making it the best for me .. It was heart warming to read what you wrote. Thank you.
Sooslover on July 08, 2013:
Yeah, I'm just passing the same feeling u talked about..! For the last four years, i have been traveling all around the world, but i came back few months back and have seen my grandma three times. However, i thought that was enough and moved to another city to work. I got the news that she was sick and planed to visit her again, so I booked my flight at a weekend to see her but she had died one day ahead of that weekend. I still feel ashamed of postponing that flight for that long, I wish i was there to see her and say my final goodbye but what I can do now..!
kwaku yei on February 19, 2013:
thank you very much this is so nice. my grand mom passed away yesterday around 3:00
Daisy on November 19, 2012:
Nice tribute. really do understand too, cos my granny past on 3days ago and it hurts so much that i hadn't had the oppurtunity of spending her last days with her in the hospital but above all i give God the glory cos she died a fulfilled woman in the arms of her children and although i miss her so so much, I know God prepared a better place for her in heaven.
shawn on March 17, 2012:
I am in St Marys Grand Rapids MI now in hospital with my Grandma, she is passing and I won't leave her side till God comes for her, I just don't know how I will go on cause she has always been their, every smile, every tear, grandma has been their. She is my best friend I hurt but so grateful God gave her to me in this life. A grandmas love, her soft touch, her ability to heal you when your down, there is nothing like a grandmas love, I only hope she knows how much she ment to me.
raim on October 01, 2011:
Wow wht a Tribute , i lost my grandma few days back and it feels lonely now, she was very sweet, carring, supporting, and much more for me she was a part of my life and she loved me a lot i wonder if i can just go back into the time and just meet her once and hug her and say how much i miss her and love her , yes the truth is she is gone and i hav to live with her memories and i wish to meet her again in another world.
Shil1978 (author) on September 22, 2011:
Donamby, am sorry to hear that! Hope you could spend some time with her before she passed on. Glad you liked my tribute - I remember her quite often! I take comfort in the memories of her, the time we spent together!!
Donamby on September 22, 2011:
I just lost my Great grandma. I like your tribute
Shil1978 (author) on September 01, 2010:
Sophie, I can relate to how you feel. I went through similar emotions. You are right, wonderful that she could see you get married!! Yes, it would have been great had she lived on longer - I felt the same!! Just wanted to spend more time with her.
When your grandparents pass away, they take away so much wisdom along with them. There are a fortunate few who can learn from their grandparents the accumulated wisdom they possess during their lifetime. I am glad I learnt some things from my grandma that I still implement in my own life. Am sure you feel the same!!
Thank you, Sophie, for stopping by and sharing your story :)
sophie on September 01, 2010:
My grandma passed away in her sleep a week ago n i feel terrible.. She raised me n ma sis as ma mum died when we were babies.. Im thankful atleast she saw me getting married a year ago.. it was the happiest day for her. Oh God i just wish she stayed a lil longer.
Shil1978 (author) on June 24, 2010:
Thanks Alicia for your kind words!! Yes, it is very hard to lose a loved one but lose we have to some day!! That thought does scare me too.
Thanks again Alicia for your comments!!
aliciajadebrowne from I am where I am, and that's all you need to know. on June 24, 2010:
Awwwww, I'm so sorry! Losing loved ones is always hard, even years later =( I might lose my great-grandmother soon, so it's scary!
Shil1978 (author) on September 26, 2009:
Thank you Larry for sharing your own personal story. Grandmas are just so unique - you never feel their true loss until they are no longer there with you. My grandma just had so much to share, sometimes I feel I didn't make full use of the immense knowledge she had to offer. I wish now that I could have spent a lot more time with her than I did. Grandmas truly are special!! I feel much the same as you Larry - her thoughts do bring a tear to my eyes too!!
Larry Conners from Northern Arizona on September 26, 2009:
Beautiful tribute, Shil...A grandma's love is something very, very special...My Grandma passed 20 years ago and I still feel her loss...She wrote me a letter every day when I was in the service...just banal stuff about the daily going ons around the neighborhood, but a precious time of day for me to read them...I'm fighting tears now, so I guess I'll just say Thank You so much for this...Larry
Shil1978 (author) on September 24, 2009:
I understand your pain too FSF. Thanks for sharing your own story. Its difficult indeed to come to terms with the sudden loss of a loved one!!
fishskinfreak2008 from Fremont CA on September 24, 2009:
I understand what you're going through and it's good that you can talk about your pain. My paternal grandma passed away in October last year and I still can't believe that she's gone. After I read this, I feel better although it brings back the pain of my grandma's passing too. Thank you. Thumbs up