Skip to main content

6 Ways to Raise Great Men: Parenting Gentlemen

The author is presenting his own views about parenting and raising a boy child as a only son in the house

In today's world, how do you raise boys to be gentlemen?

I was out with two of my dear friends the other week when we got to chatting about our kids... So what is there to know? It's funny because, despite possessing identical parenting methods, their children were complete opposites. One has a son who is a kind, gentle, and soft-spoken young man. He is courteous at all times and never raises his voice. While he is a wonderful child, he frequently screams and whines. “It's tough making these youngsters tough, isn't it?” he remarked. 30 years ago, I would never have sobbed like this.”

My other buddy, on the other hand, has a son that you would describe as "aggressive." In comparison to the rest of his pals, he was the most domineering.

He was aggressive and domineering, unconcerned about hurting anyone's feelings. “Yeah, it's very easy to raise him to be tough—it just comes naturally,” he added. If he wasn't already tough, I'm not sure how I'd try to toughen him up.”

Which one is the most difficult to raise? Which is the less difficult option? It makes no difference since, at the end of the day, we all want the same thing:

Raising a son is difficult... It's more difficult to raise a kid to be the man you want him to be...

six rules for growing your son to be the man you want him to be

My wife & I just want the best of both worlds. We are trying to raise men that are both gentle, yet strong. We try to teach them these lessons through our actions and our examples. These ones are most important to us:

1. Men Hold the doors open for everyone.

This may appear to be common sense, yet it is no longer the case. This basic politeness, I believe, is slowly fading in today's fast-paced society. I can't believe how many times the person in front of me slips through a door, causing it to smack in my face, either because they're in a rush or because they're too preoccupied with their phones to notice.

Gentlemen open the doors

Gentlemen open the doors

2. Compliment your competitors

I can't claim sole responsibility for this one. My boys participate in numerous sports, including wrestling, that require him to shake hands with the other team or opponent before and after the game or bout. The referee invites the two athletes to shake hands after a contest, and then they each shake the hands of the opponent's coach.
My spouse has taken it a step further. He instructs my kid to approach his opponent after a game and tell him "nice work." Even if it is still excellent sportsmanship, it is simple for my kid once he has won his match. He is genuinely developing character when he loses and congratulates his competitor.

1. Be kind and Hands Shaking

Although it may appear to be a small detail, teaching your kids to greet others with a solid handshake encourages them to respect others and to be confident in themselves. Making direct eye contact and perhaps a grin for good measure are all part of this.

We've started teaching this to my kid by having him shake his coaches' hands and thank them after a training session. We aim to extend this behavior to teachers next, and subsequently to each adult they come into contact with.

Scroll to Continue

3. Treat your family with respect

Sure, mister... Although it's simpler to be polite to your three-year-younger baby sister... both are equally important. " It's tougher to be just as kind to your younger brother, who is only a year younger than you.

It's equally as essential to treat the ladies in your life with respect and to educate your children to do the same: their mothers, grandmothers, aunts... Being a good husband is the best way to teach our boys how to be good husbands.

compliment your opponent.

Praise your opponent

Praise your opponent

4. It's important to teach them when and how to apologise.

It demonstrates that you are capable of recognising when you are incorrect or have made a mistake. It demonstrates strength while also indicating that you are requesting forgiveness for making a mistake. Knowing when to admit you're wrong while also asking for forgiveness is crucial to maintaining a good relationship. When we lose our cool (and we all do), we must learn to apologise to our children. They must understand that everyone has flaws in life and that we all make mistakes. We sincerely apologize... and then we move on. Discuss it with your children. "I apologise. I'm apologising because it's the only way I'm going to own up to my mistakes. I'm not sure I want to do it again. "

How to raise your children smart and confident

5. Educate kids to be accountable for their own actions.

There are many things in life that we don't want to do yet must. Teaching your children to "step up to the plate" and not complain while completing a task can instil in them the strong and rewarding qualities that come with responsibility.

It's more essential than ever to impart responsibility and the capacity to stick it out when life throws you lemons in today's society of immediate gratification. These are abilities that our sons require. They will learn to be good leaders, spouses, dads, and friends as a result of their responsibility.

6. Allow them to express their feelings.

Men are frequently chastised in the media for expressing emotion. Gentlemen, on the other hand, know how strong they can be if they are not ashamed by their emotions. Gentlemen open enormous doors to their own selves and those around them by pushing beyond society's expectations of masculine self-consciousness.

As your boys become more aware of the world around them, encourage them to ask questions, seek answers, feel the highs and lows of emotions (rather than putting them away), experience compassion, and explore.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.


Shahab Ahmad (author) from Pakistan on September 07, 2021:

nothing to say just feeling grateful

Related Articles