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Funny stories about politicians

This is the first of several hubs I am going to write about funny stories. It is one of the things I have been doing online which has made me happy and I hope that has made others happy too.

This time I will start with a couple of little comical tales about politicians.

I know, it is easy to joke about politicians but I am just starting and other subjects will follow. But if you like this ones I can make another one, I have lots of politicians jokes to share.

Well, in fact they give us comical material almost every day.

I will not personalize this jokes to avoid any chance of hurting someone´s feelings but of course you can think about your "favorite" politician while reading this stories. That won't kill him, that is for sure!

Have fun!

about-funny-stories

They are all...

A bus full of politicians hits a tree on the side of the road near a very remote farm.

There was a witness in that place when the accident took place and he started to burying all the politicians.

A few days later comes a researcher who sees the crashed bus and asked the witness what happened to all the politicians who were inside the vehicle.

- I bury them! Said the man.

- But were they all killed? Asks the investigator.

The man answered:

- There were some of them who said they weren't. But you know how politicians are, they are always lying...

Photo by Pepe2000 @ www.sxc.hu

Photo by Pepe2000 @ www.sxc.hu

  • Politics of Health

    It is a knowledge network which explore the result of politic decisions on health matters.

  • Politics

    Wikipedia definition of politics.

Photo by neosiam @ www.sxc.hu

Photo by neosiam @ www.sxc.hu

Where should we put them?

A politician had an accident and dies.

His soul reaches the Paradise and found St. Peter at the entrance.

-- "Welcome to Paradise! Before you could get in, there is a little problem... We rarely seen politicians here, you know… So we do not know what to do with you..."

-- "I see, no problem just let me enter." says the politician.

-- "I though I would like to let you in but I have higher orders as it´s known… We will do the following: You pass one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. You can then choose where to spend eternity."

-- "It is not necessary, I have already decided. I want to stay in Heaven." says the politician.

-- "Sorry, but we have our rules."

So, St. Peter takes him to the elevator and he comes down, down to Hell. The door opens up and he sees himself in the middle of a beautiful golf course.

In essence, the club where were all his friends and other politicians with whom he had worked. All very happy.

He was greeted, embraced and then they started to talk about the good times when they got rich at the expense of the people.

They played golf, relaxed and then ate lobster and caviar.

Who was also present was the devil, a very friendly guy who spent all the time dancing and telling jokes. They enjoyed themselves so much that before they realize it was time to go.

After a lot of redundant hugs and words of farewell he enter into the elevator.

He rises, rises and the door opens up again. St. Peter was expecting him.

-- Now it´s the time to visit the Paradise.

He spends 24 hours in paradise among a group of happy souls who go from cloud to cloud playing harps and singing. All went very well and before he noticed the day comes to an end and St. Peter returns.

-- "Now what? You spent one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Now choose your eternal home."

He thought for a minute and answered:

-- "Look, I never thought to make this decision… The Paradise is very good but I think I'll be much better in Hell."

Then St. Peter takes him back to the elevator and he comes down, down to hell.

The door opens up and he saw himself in the midst of a massive ground full of garbage and a horrible smell. He saw all his friends with the clothes torn and very dirty searching the rubble and putting it in black bags. He also saw some of his friends in dispute to take pieces of rotten food.

The devil put the arm by the politician´s shoulder.

-- "I do not understand?" Mumble the politician. -- "Yesterday I was here and it even had a beautiful golf course, a club, lobster, caviar and we danced and had fun all the time. Now I see that it´s only full of very smelly garbage and my friends are totally tear down!"

The devil looks at him… Ironically smiles and says:

-- "Yesterday we were in campaign season before election. Now we have your vote... I´m sorry, this is the reality!"

Politics can be funny

Mark Thomas political comedy stand up show

Comments

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on October 25, 2010:

Thanks Sa`ge, nice to meet you... now it´s time for me to read some of your hubs ;)

Sa`ge from Barefoot Island on October 25, 2010:

funny and interesting great hub. voted up all the way... :D hugs :D

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on October 25, 2010:

LOL Steph... I´m glad you enjoy it (again).

Your second comment here feels to me like the biggest compliment, thanks :)

Stephanie Marshall from Bend, Oregon on October 25, 2010:

Had to comment again - just too funny!! Great hub. :)

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on October 25, 2010:

Thanks Micky! We live times when it isn´t easy to find reasons for laughing about politicians... well, who cares, we all need a good laugh every day :D

Micky Dee on October 25, 2010:

Useful, funny, awesome, beautiful! Write on and ride on!

The Rope from SE US on November 30, 2009:

You can come back to me with funny politician jokes anytime! It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud but these did it. Thanks - I needed the endorphins.

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on March 25, 2009:

Thank you for commenting, I´m glad you both like it.

You´re absolutely right Mulberry ;)

Christine Mulberry on March 24, 2009:

Well, we can either laugh or cry about them...laughing is probably our best option much of the time. Nice hub!

Maria on March 24, 2009:

Very good and funny hub! thanks for sharing

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on November 04, 2008:

LOL, you will not believe me but I have several politician friends but of course I´ll never show them this hub. Well, they wouldn´t understand the jokes anyway :D

Thanks for reading Allan.

allan on November 04, 2008:

i dont have to guess you have a lot of politician friends judging by de way you have studied them your brillian

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on June 12, 2008:

Thank you both for commenting ;)

They make very good material for jokes but sometimes it´s difficult to laugh with their acts :/

Bob Ewing from New Brunswick on June 12, 2008:

always enjoy a good laugh at the expense of a politican.

amy jane from Connecticut on June 12, 2008:

These are all so funny! Thanks for the laughs. :)

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on June 03, 2008:

Eheheheh, we are always learning LOL. I´m glad you enjoyed my "Funny Stories" hubs ;)

Tater2tot from ~~~ on June 02, 2008:

Oh my goodness. I knew politicians were liers but i didn't know they were stupid! What kind of person picks hell over heaven. Ha-ha.

Tayler!

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on June 02, 2008:

Thank you all so much for your comments ;)

I´m glad this hubs has provoke some laughs. Have fun!

pjdscott from Durham, UK on June 02, 2008:

These were hilarious funride! I have sent you a request based on a similar theme!

ironmonger from Spain on May 29, 2008:

I didn't realise you were a student of engish politics......

Great post

Merle Ann Johnson from NW in the land of the Free on May 28, 2008:

Funride...'The worst prison...is a closed heart.' Thanks for the laughter you brought and I know the other's will be just as good. You are a dear G-Ma :o)hugs

Stephanie Marshall from Bend, Oregon on May 28, 2008:

LOL - I love the campaign vs. election joke!

mcdamas on May 28, 2008:

You a real creative hubber. Congratulation.

If you happen to have spare time,visit my blog www.bucksfreak.com

Thanx

Ricardo Nunes (author) from Portugal on May 28, 2008:

Thanks, I´m glad you all enjoyed it. I´m just waiting for the first comment from a politician :D

MrMarmalade from Sydney on May 28, 2008:

Excellent.As Montgomerie said "Iwill be back"

To I know not what..I could tell how to sell whales not cows, but it will steal your thunder.

Thank you

Eileen Hughes from Northam Western Australia on May 28, 2008:

Very good, Keep it up and we will be back

rmr from Livonia, MI on May 28, 2008:

Funny! Politicians are the same, the world (or underworld) over!

Rodney Fagan from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City on May 28, 2008:

Great Hub, looking forward to the next installment

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