Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!
The Psychology of Toilet Paper
If you invite me over to your home, I will probably try to determine a lot about you based on what I see. Don't get me wrong... I don't care if your kitchen curtains don't match your kitchen towels. Who cares if there is a little dust in the livingroom? I certainly can't tell if you paid a lot of money for your kitchen table. None of that matters to me. Instead, I am a toilet paper expert. Oh yes, I said it. I am judging you based on your toilet paper.
At some point during the visit, I will have to use your bathroom. I can't help it. I just have to go a lot! Don't blame me... blame my bladder. At any rate, no matter what you try to hide from guests, you can't hide the toilet paper. If you do, I guess I am not coming to visit you anymore. That is just a really disgusting move on your part. I am not the type of gal to look in your medicine cabinet or raid your shower gels. I am going to use your toilet paper, which is what any normal bathroom user would do. I am also going to take some time to determine how much consideration you put into something so important. After all, this is something that is visiting a delicate area of the body. You should care about your toilet paper!
Due to my many visits to bathrooms in many homes, I've come to realize some toilet paper stereotypes. Different types of people use different types of toilet paper. Honestly, you really can learn just about all you need to know about a person just by visiting the bathroom and by inspecting the toilet paper.
Crispy Toilet Paper
Crispy toilet paper is the worst! You could also refer to it as hard, uncomfortable, scratchy, or usually just plain cheap toilet paper. What were you thinking when you bought this toilet paper? I understand the economy is in the crapper, but while you are on the crapper, don't you deserve just one luxury in life?
When I see crispy toilet paper in someone's bathroom, I know I am either dealing with a real cheapskate or someone that is barely ever home. If you never have to experience the torture of using your own toilet paper, you may not realize just how bad it is. Listen, I hate to be mean about this, but you need to change your toilet paper. If not, just don't have over houseguests. People are talking about you!
Overly Soft Toilet Paper
Oh, what a sensitive butt you must have! That overly soft toilet paper is just ever so nice. However, it doesn't always get the job done, does it? In an overly soft toilet paper situation, often too much toilet paper must be used.
When I am in a bathroom full of overly soft toilet paper, I know I am in someone's house that cares about the rear end. We all have our priorities, and your priority is to have a comfortable time with your toilet paper. In many cases, you will find a female has purchased the soft toilet paper... or a male with hemorrhoids. Sorry, dude. I've got you figured out.
Strong, Yet Soft Toilet Paper
The strong, yet soft toilet paper is like the Goldilocks of toilet paper. It is not too hard, yet not too soft. It is often just right. Typically, you will find this kind of wonderful combination with 2-ply toilet paper.
When I use toilet paper at someone's home that is strong, yet soft, I know I am dealing with a good person. You spend just enough money to get a quality item, but you are not going overboard. You probably tip servers at restaurants pretty well and you are kind to animals. Thanks, pal! I am happy to visit you and your bathroom anytime.
More Absurd Hubs:
- How to Flush the Toilet
- How to Use a Hair Dryer (Featuring Exciting Action Photos)
- How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Evening by Highlighting Your Own Hair
3-Ply Toilet Paper
Some people are all about having the biggest, most absorbent, and softest rolls of toilet paper around. These are the people that buy the 3-ply toilet paper. 3-ply toilet paper is the king of all toilet paper. It is thick, soft, strong, and rocks the bathroom out with its awesomeness. It is also so huge it sometimes needs a special holder just to fit in the allotted toilet paper spot in the bathroom.
People that use 3-ply toilet paper are living like kings and queens in their homes. Why, I'll bet they even have real Bounty paper towels in the kitchen and Tide detergent in the laundry room! We are not dealing with the type of person that will skimp on something as crucial as toilet paper. People who use 3-ply toilet paper know how to impress a bathroom visitor. Is that Bath & Body Works soap on the sink? Wow, thanks again!
The Over vs. Under Argument
Many people will argue that a person's true personality is evident by whether the toilet paper rolls over or under the roll. I do believe this has some bearing on personality as well. Most people tend to have the toilet paper rolling forward on the roll. If you find you are in the home of someone who lets the toilet paper roll the opposite direction, you are now in the home of a rebel. Don't be surprised if you don't also find some crazy patterns on the toilet paper. Or maybe even one of the toilet paper holders that talk to you when you use the toilet paper. What a rebel!
Buy Some Toilet Paper While On The Toilet!
No Toilet Paper At All
I realize not every culture uses toilet paper. If you live in one of those cultures and don't have toilet paper, then you're cool. If you have a bidet, well that seems interesting. I've never used one before, but I am open to trying it. So thanks for a cool new cultural experience.
However, if you are living in a place where toilet paper is expected, such as the U.S. and you don't have a bidet, you need to supply toilet paper. If the only thing provided is an empty cardboard roll or some paper towels on the back of the toilet, you have some explaining to do. This better be a one-time only incident. If it happens more than once, we can't even be friends anymore. A lack of toilet paper is just that serious! My behind deserves better than paper towels and so does your sewer system!
I hope you've learned how important toilet paper is in the bathroom. Don't go cheap on this one. I like a bargain as much as the next person, but we've all got to have priorities in life. If I come over and your toilet paper is not acceptable, I might just determine our friendship is over. It's pretty serious. Treat your behind kind and get some good toilet paper!
Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on March 10, 2014:
Ouch! Wax paper toilet paper does not sound like any fun at all. I hope you don't have to deal with that anymore. Thanks for the votes!
Shinkicker from Scotland on March 10, 2014:
A little comfort to part our cheeks is always welcome :-) At my old school it was like wax paper, that was a tough school LOL
Voted up and funny.
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 08, 2013:
Thank you, Kim. I am glad you liked my hub so much. Toilet paper is very important to me. :-)
ocfireflies from North Carolina on September 07, 2013:
So glad to have stumbled upon your hub! This piece was hilarious, and I enjoyed it very much. Looking forward to checking out some more of your hubs.
ocfireflies aka Kim
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on August 21, 2013:
Sometimes I feel such responsibility to have nice toilet paper since I wrote this article. I thought about getting the cheap stuff the other day, but felt I would let everyone down. Hehe. Thanks!
Laura Deibel from Aurora, CO on August 20, 2013:
How true that a little bit of paper is so important to we humans. Thanks for the laugh!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on July 17, 2013:
That is such a shame you don't have 3 ply in South Africa. Bummer! Thanks for checking out my hub!
Fiona from South Africa on July 17, 2013:
I'll keep this in mind if you ever visit me! I've never seen 3 ply toilet paper - I don't think we get it in South Africa
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on April 15, 2013:
This is good to know. I am happy to find out you've made the right toilet paper choices in life. :-) Thanks so much!
Susan Bailey from South Yorkshire, UK on April 15, 2013:
By your standards I am a good person and worth a visit for my soft but strong tp. Amusing hub as ever.
SHAR NOR from Miami, FL on February 13, 2013:
Thank you too for the comment.
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on February 13, 2013:
Thanks so much! Nice toilet paper is very important. :-)
SHAR NOR from Miami, FL on February 13, 2013:
I will definitely go to the toilet and check on something with regard. This is funnier than i thought. Bravo.
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on January 24, 2013:
I am so relieved to hear that. Sounds like we could be friends. :-)
Thanks for checking out my hub!
Max Zvyagintsev from New Zealand on January 23, 2013:
After reading your hub I went to my toilet and checked my toilet paper. Thankfully it seems to be the goldilocks type :)
Thank you for a great laugh and a great hub!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on January 01, 2013:
I don't know that I've experienced the scented kind. The thought of that rather disturbs me. Thanks for letting me know this exists so I can avoid it. :-)
Casimiro on January 01, 2013:
I think you left out the overly-scented type of paper. =%^D What message this sends, I'm not sure. You'd think it would be because the paper owners are sensitive to strong or "bad" smells, but then why blast us with artificial floral scents?
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on December 27, 2012:
A-ha. That is probably very true. Still, the wipes do sound nice. This is a strange conversation though. Thanks for the comment! ;-)
THE BLACK ALPACA on December 26, 2012:
Flushable wipes are the best. Their great but sometimes leave you a little moist so you gotta use toilet paper after just to wipe the excess. Omg, can't believe I've actually given this some thought.
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on December 22, 2012:
Charmin is pretty decent. I use that sometimes, but prefer Quilted Northern 3 ply when I have the chance to buy it. I've never used flushable wipes before, but now that you mention it, they do sound appealing. Thanks for your comment!
Cherish77 on December 22, 2012:
Im a Charmin girl, plus I use flushable wipes for um well other bussiness,lol
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on December 12, 2012:
Thanks so much! I am happy you liked my hub. I think I have an unhealthy interest in toilet paper. Hehe. I always check to see what kind of toilet paper people use in their bathroom and I will confront people when I am not happy with their selection. ;-) And yes, I do remember when Sheryl Crow brought that up. She must also have an unhealthy interest in toilet paper, but she cares about it in a different way than I do. Thanks for the votes!
Janis Leslie Evans from Washington, DC on December 12, 2012:
Hi there, jeannieinabottle. I thought this hub was great! Do you remember a couple years ago when everybody was up in arms with Sheryl Crow for suggesting we use one square of tissue when we go as a way to conserve? I bet you she had that 3-ply nice stuff. It can be done with that ultra soft and poofy Charmin. It's so bad for the septic tank. I feel like I'm wasting paper when I use it. I can't believe you got me talking about toilet paper. You're good, jeannieinabottle. Glad I stopped by. I hopped over here from a forum to see your interesting hubs and why your hubber score is 100 :-) Voted up, funny, and interesting. You rock, girl.
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on December 04, 2012:
You'd think people could spring for nice toilet paper. I mean, no one wants to use that crispy stuff. Shesh!
Trish89 on December 04, 2012:
This is too funny, because I think the exact thing you wrote about the people who buy "crisp" toilet paper!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on November 25, 2012:
It sounds like you've got your toilet paper situation totally covered! I tend to buy 6 packs, but the last time I went, I got a jumbo pack with 12 in it. That should last a long time! Thanks for your comment.
Rain Defence from UK on November 25, 2012:
I couldn't really care about the over under thing, I did read once which was better but I can't remember which way it was. Apparently people use less if it goes one way though. Anyway, I like having massive multipacks nowadays as I remember my younger days when I was broke and didn't really understand shopping that well when I used to sometimes have to ration the stuff as I was running out. Now I always have hundreds of rolls around the place and haven't ran out for years. Great stuff!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on November 24, 2012:
Wow, most people have really strong feelings about the over or under debate. It is interesting to hear from someone that is cool either way. Thanks for your comment! :-)
ChrisStyles from USA on November 23, 2012:
Angelsoft, think it is 2 ply, not really sure. I guess someone would get mixed signals about the over/under thing because I don't really pay attention so sometimes it's over and sometimes it is under, lol.
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 18, 2012:
Hahaha... thanks so much! Sometimes I just have to cover the subjects other people don't want to go near. :-)
CakeyCakey on September 18, 2012:
I'm not sure which is more disturbing... the fact that you wrote about toilet paper, or the fact that I read it- and enjoyed it! Good post!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on September 13, 2012:
Overly soft toilet paper just doesn't always get the job done. I just really like good, strong, yet slightly soft toilet paper. Thanks for the comment. We can be TP snobs together!
Melinda from Oregon on September 12, 2012:
As someone with crohns disease, I want to second the obnoxiousness of the extra soft toilet paper and how much I love it when people have good quality TP in their homes. I haven't thought it through about personality types, but I can tell you I'm a TP snob. lol
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on August 20, 2012:
Thanks for your comment! I am pretty sure I spend way too much time thinking about toilet paper. :-)
DON BALDERAS on August 19, 2012:
Environment matters when paper matters. Paper matters are people matter. Just the thought of judging from the experience of a toilet paper is one creative thing to do. Funny but practical, great hub.
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on August 07, 2012:
Yes, that was one of our secrets. Now what you do with that information is up to you. :-) As I've said before, I am here to help. Thanks for checking out my hub!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 23, 2012:
Alecia Murphy - I went into a public restroom lately with nice toilet paper and that is how this whole discussion and hub started. I am all about nice toilet paper. And yes, 3-ply is the best! You must try it! Thanks for the comment!
Cyndi10 - I am happy you enjoyed my hub. Yes, everyone can relate to toilet paper. It is something most of us must use. I usually don't worry about name brands either, but toilet paper is something I do spend the extra money on. Thanks for the comment!
Cynthia B Turner from Georgia on May 23, 2012:
My guess is that you have hit on something nearly everyone uses :-) I don't like scratchy paper, but I'm not a brand shopper either. The "crappy" paper sometimes ends up in the "crapper." My preference would be the softest over the scratchy stuff. I hate buying the stuff, but I can't/won't live without it!!!! :-) So, I think you can tell a lot more if you go in and there's none there! Thanks for a great laugh this morning. Have a creative day!
Alecia Murphy from Wilmington, North Carolina on May 23, 2012:
I love this hub! I hate crispy toilet paper-it is not only cheap but it does not feel good- unfortunately that's what awaits us at most workplaces and public restrooms.
I honestly didn't know 3-ply toilet paper existed. I just thought there was only one and two ply but I think 3-ply is a little much.
I agree that whatever someone chooses as toilet paper is not only important in judging their personality but also their health. Great hub!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 16, 2012:
JayeWisdom - It is funny some of the major contraversies that come from toilet paper. I guess the over vs. under argument will keep going as long as there is toilet paper. I agree with you, too... when it comes to toilet paper, saving money should not be the priority! Thanks for dropping by!
kittythedreamer - Thanks so much! I've recently discovered I focus too much on toilet paper and needed to share. Hehe. I've used the recycled kind once... sorry! I just can't save the environment on that one. You are a better person than me! Thanks for the comment!
Kitty Fields from Summerland on May 15, 2012:
You never cease to amaze me with your creativity and unique humor, Jeannie! Loved this hub! Except, admittedly, we have crispy thin TP in our bathroom right now not because it was cheaper because it's 100% recycled TP and I'm trying to save the earth, dang-it! :)
Jaye Denman from Deep South, USA on May 15, 2012:
There's nothing like the discussion of toilet paper to produce some chuckles! Actually, I recall reading somewhere that two issues about TP (1-how much more of it women use than men and 2-the "over" versus "under" roll-hanging orientation) are among the most controversial of topics.
I agree with you that the purchase of TP is no area in which to practice economy. I have few luxuries these days, but quality TP and paper towels are musts!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 15, 2012:
randomcreative - Thanks so much!
Heather Says - I completely agree with you! I would rather eat store brand food, take store brand medicine, and even use store brand cleaning supplies, but I am getting the good paper products! This doesn't even stop at toilet paper. My nose deserves Kleenex or Puffs, too! Hehe.
I remember funny things like that from when I was younger. It is amazing the things that stick with you when you are an adult. Thanks for sharing the story!
Millionaire Tips - Hahaha... I realize I am appearing more and more OCD with each new hub I write. Thanks for the warning... I will remember to bring my own toilet paper if you invite me over. Thanks for dropping by my hub!
Shasta Matova from USA on May 14, 2012:
Jeannie, you are scaring me. First you try to analyze me based on my shopping list, and now you want to analyze me by my toilet paper. You're welcome to come to my house anytime, but you will have to be blindfolded and have to bring your own supplies. If you do any analyzing by scent or any other sense though, the invitation will get rescinded.
Heather from Arizona on May 14, 2012:
Haha! Okay so in my house we save money on other items so that we can afford a nice potty paper. I have always said, "Be good to your butt and he/she will be good to you." I prefer my TP and PT (paper towels) to all hang over rather than under. In fact, if it somehow ends up hanging under, I get anal (all puns intended).
When I was a teenager I used the restroom at a friend's house and used the last bit of tp (there was hardly any left as it was). Being a dumb kid, I forgot to tell my friend or her mother that I used it all and couldn't find anymore. My friend's grandmother then used the bathroom after. After that, the mom used it and when she came out she proceeded to yell at my friend's grandmother (her mother) about how she's always using all the toilet paper and never replacing it or saying something. I never said a word (I'm so terrible)! But fifteen years later, I still wonder what did her grandmother use??
Rose Clearfield from Milwaukee, Wisconsin on May 14, 2012:
Hilarious as always!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 14, 2012:
Hahaha.... thanks, Starmom41. Yes, I would be scared, too.
Thanks so much, theclevercat! Thanks for the votes. As long as people keep reading my opinions, I will keep them coming. :-)
Rachel Vega from Massachusetts on May 14, 2012:
Ha! I enjoy Jeannie's Opinion hubs and this is no different. Keep 'em comin'! Voted up and funny. :^D
Starmom41 on May 14, 2012:
lol yeah I'd be worried about anybody who couldn't!
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 14, 2012:
I feel very honored. I guess everyone can relate to toilet paper. :-)
Starmom41 on May 14, 2012:
haha it looks like this is amongst the most popular hubs today!!! :)
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 14, 2012:
Sunshine625 - Oh, that is a touch of fanciness right there! I love seeing toilet paper with the folds like that. Thanks for dropping by my hub!
lambservant - Cottonelle is a pretty good brand. I still prefer Charmin or Quilted Northern myself, but I always like a household with Cottonelle, too. :-) Thanks for checking out my hub!
Ask Ashley - Thank you! I am happy you enjoyed it. Sometimes I think too much about toilet paper. Hehe.
Ask Ashley from California on May 14, 2012:
Haha! What a great a hub on an unexpected topic. :)
Lori Colbo from United States on May 14, 2012:
I'm a cottenelle, woman myself. I like soft but strong. Nothing worse than cheap TP that breaks apart or is scratchy and rough. No thanks. Interesting topic Jeannie, can't say it every crossed my mind to write about TP.
Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on May 14, 2012:
Toilet paper could make or break a household. The groundkeeper at our community center folds the beginning of the roll into a point, sure it looks nice BUT I always feel compelled to create that point again whenever I use it. Exellent hub....makes me have to go.....!!:)
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 14, 2012:
Mr Nice, the bidet does sound especially nice. If I ever own a home instead of rent, maybe I will get one. Thanks for sharing!
Johnathan, Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it.
Johnathan L Groom from Bristol, CT on May 14, 2012:
Mr Nice from North America on May 13, 2012:
Really an interesting and unique hub about the use of toilet paper choices. However, I hate to use the toilet paper down there now because I have the bidet installed in my bathroom.
When I traveled to Cairo, Egypt years ago, I first used the bidet in the hotel.
Bidet or Spray toilet are modern Japanese toilets a combination of toilet, bidet and drier, controlled by an electronic panel next to the toilet seat.
Bidets are becoming very popular in Europe and they are available in US too.
You can even buy it on the eBay, Amazon and at your local stores.
Bidets are now more advanced and come with even a remote control.
Here are the specs of one such bidet.
Brondell Swash 1000 features
* Posterior and feminine warm water washes
* Elegant, space-saving design for maximum comfort
* Water and seat temperature settings
* Water pressure controls
* Stainless steel positionable nozzles
* Wide spray function
* Nozzle Oscillation
* Aerated wash spray
* Contoured, heated seat
* Sturdy “sittable” lid
* Wireless remote control
* Warm air dryer
* "Quick Release" for easy seat removal
* Automatic deodorizer
* Gentle closing seat and lid
* Nozzle sterilization
* Eco Mode for best energy conservation
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 13, 2012:
Starmom41 - I get the toilet paper with designs, but no colors. I haven't seen colored toilet paper in a long time. Something tells me the dye was probably bothering a lot of people with sensitive skin issues. I keep hearing a lot about cat issues with toilet paper. This is good to know. Thanks for dropping by!
billybuc - I am glad you just had to read my hub. Hehe. Not to mention, with an important topic like toilet paper, who can pass that up? Hahaha. Thanks for visiting my hub on a "no hub reading day." That means a lot to me.
Golfgal - I keep a plunger near my toilet at my apartment. Just in case anyone has an issue, I like for people to feel welcome to resolve the problem on their own. Hehe. Thanks for visiting!
Chris Hugh - I am happy to have a new fan. I am glad you enjoyed my hub!
bravewarrior - Quilted Northern is pretty awesome. I am glad we both agree on the roll over issue. I can't believe you are forced to correct the toilet paper at work. I would have to do the same thing. Thanks for the comment!
barbergirl28 - Oh no! It sounds like you have some valid reasons for keeping the toilet paper out of reach though. Hehe. And perhaps toilet paper is not a big issue with most people. It might just be me. Maybe I need to seek some help. Thanks for reading my hub!
rmcleve - Thanks for sharing this with your friends. Everyone should learn more about toilet paper and how it makes their houseguests feel. :-)
janikon - Why thank you! I feel really honored that you would let me know where you stash the good toilet paper. If you visited me, I would make sure I had the really good stuff available for you, too. Thanks for the comment, thanks for the vote up, and thanks for sharing this!
tsmog - I am happy you enjoyed the article so much. I would like to think this is very thought provoking... perhaps more important than many other news stories I've seen today! Hahaha... maybe not. Thanks so much for visiting!
Tim Mitchell from Escondido, CA on May 13, 2012:
Very good Jeannie. A very well written, humorous, thought provoking article. I tend to fend anger with under vs over, being an over the hill kinda' guy. I'm laughing now, thinking just how do I do it. Well, a little like Barbergirl, the toilet paper sits on the vanity in one bath and tradition wall in the other - single guy stuff I guess? I will have to warn you the seats are down here! :)
janikon on May 13, 2012:
I loved this hub. It was exactly what I needed after a nightmare day, though I have a dog with a penchant for eating toilet paper. We buy it cheap, or we hide the expensive stuff in the cupboard ... because you seem like a nice person, I'd totes tell you where to find the good stuff while you were visiting.
Shared with my FB friends, as well. Great hub! Voted Up!
rmcleve on May 13, 2012:
As someone who goes strong, but soft, I feel very pleased with your evaluation. I do tip well and animals love me (and vice versa)!
Great, entertaining hub. I'm sharing with my FB friends.
Stacy Harris from Hemet, Ca on May 13, 2012:
You and I can't be friends... I know this now because of my toilet paper. First... I will get this out of the way. My toilet paper (at least in the bathroom most guests will use) isn't even on the roll! Yep - that is right... I don't even put it where it goes... I actually prop it up on the towel rack which is high enough and far enough to be out of most people's grasp. Then, to top it off... I don't invest in the most expensive quality stuff a guest should get to use on their hiney. I don't want to say it is bad - I think it is in-between. However, it is cheap and it might break.
Now - before you go judging me - I do have my reasons. I have kids - one of which is potty training. That being said - I once lost a whole roll of toilet paper and the whole toilet due to him attempting to flush it. So, from now on - we just keep it out of his grasp. But, he does like to use it and he likes to use it frequently and a lot. I also have two older daughters. Now - we go through a lot of toilet paper. So - those are my excuses.
Now - I have to say - I laughed pretty hard at this - I didn't realize toilet paper was such a big thing with guests. Then again - if I really sit down and think about it - you would be surprised by what I judge people on when I go to their house as well! ;) Great hub - funny stuff!
Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on May 13, 2012:
Funny, Jeanie! I agree with you. I happen to have a spetic system, so I have to buy septic-friendly toilet paper. Angel Soft or Quilted Northern are my preference where that's concerned. As far as rolling over or under, I roll over. The people that clean the offices where I work consistenly place the new rolls so they roll under. That annoys the hell out of me! Each and every time, I reposition the roll to flow the proper way - over of course!
Thanx for the laugh! Nice way to end this fabulous Mothers Day!
Chris Hugh on May 13, 2012:
Good stuff. I stumbled it. Looking forward to reading more stuff from you. I enjoy your humor.
Golfgal from McKinney, Texas on May 13, 2012:
Hey there, you would love it at my house and welcome anytime....just bring your own toilet paper :) ...seriously, 3-ply, does that come with a disposable plunger? Thanks for the giggles.
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on May 13, 2012:
I wasn't going to read any hubs today but saw your name pop up and that demands my attention. Glad to say I was not disappointed. This is hilarious as I have come to expect from the Queen of Giggles!
However, you will not be hearing about my toilet paper preferences other than to say you will never find single-ply in a bathroom of mine. Way too many opportunities for an accident to occur as your finger punches right through that flimsy single ply. Need I say more!
Great hub as always!
Starmom41 on May 13, 2012:
I hadn't thought about it, but I haven't seen tissue with designs in a long time. I buy store brands- not only because it costs less, but the more expensive brands are thick and presumably not good for plumbing. As I have a cat, I find keeping it on the back of the toilet or sink is better than hanging it, so cat does not have a "new toy."
Jeannie Marie (author) from Baltimore, MD on May 13, 2012:
Georgie Lowery - I am the exact opposite. I use nice toilet paper, but cheap detergent. I really stepped it up last time with some Gain, but that is a luxury to me. Hehe. Thanks for sharing!
Just Ask Susan - I am happy you enjoyed it. I usually stick with Charmin or Quilted Northern myself. I've used Cottonelle when I have coupons. Thanks for reading my hub!
TeriSilver - Single ply is evil! I believe when you see a really grumpy person on the street, that person has just used singly ply toilet paper. Thanks for dropping by my hub!
rebeccamealey - Oh dear! I am not sure what that means. I will have to give that some thought. Perhaps it just means you have very clean floors so it doesn't matter. :-) Thanks for visiting my hub!
Nell Rose - I am with you 100% on that one! Thanks for being on my side (and caring about your backside!) Hehehe.
DzyMsLizzy - Yes, I suppose the under the roll method is popular with cat owners. I wasn't even thinking about that. Hehe. I was once fooled by Scott before too. Never again! I don't know how anyone uses it. It is such a tough time even finishing off that stuff! Thanks for the votes!
Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on May 13, 2012:
Hahahaha!! We get one or two of a few different brands that are soft, and 2-ply---whichever is cheaper that day. We are on a fixed income and have to watch the pennies, but comfort is still important. (Oh, yeah--it has to say 'septic safe,' for we are on one of those systems..so it has to dissolve and break up easily.)
We will never, ever again buy Scott's "super-soft." Talk about false advertising! I even sent them an e-mail telling them I had never before experienced such scratchy, UNcomfortable paper in my life! Their reply? They sent coupons for more! How is that logical?
As for the over vs. under debate, in my opinion, it is a matter of personal preference and convenience--there are no set 'rules,' UNLESS--and this is a biggie--UNLESS you have cats!
Then, it MUST roll off the bottom, for over-the-top leads to overmuch temptation for kitties to jump, grab, play with, and otherwise make a decorating mess and waste of paper as they easily spool it off into a fascinating pile into which to dive, jump and hide.
Great hub--voted up and funny.
Nell Rose from England on May 13, 2012:
Yep I take care of my backside! lol! strong but plain that's my motto, and of course it has to be forward on the roll holder not the other way, it drives me mad!
Rebecca Mealey from Northeastern Georgia, USA on May 13, 2012:
How cute! My TP is probably on the floor and all raggedy. I can imagine what that says!
Teri Silver from The Buckeye State on May 13, 2012:
Stay away from anything that is single ply ...
Susan Zutautas from Ontario, Canada on May 13, 2012:
2 ply Cottonelle here, unless we're broke and then it the terrible scratchy stuff.
Another fun read :) Thanks for the laughs.
GH Price from North Florida on May 13, 2012:
I use Tide detergent, but my toilet paper says I'm cheap and scratchy! (That limited budget strikes again!) I also usually put the paper on the dispenser with the paper running under the roll.
This was interesting. And funny too!