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Top 5 Howard Stern Wack Packers

#1. Beetlejuice


With his timeless response to questions... "Who Me?", it's hard to deny Beetlejuice (Lester Green) the top spot on the Howard Stern Wack Pack. Often called Beet, he is a frequent guest on the show and a dwarf full of machismo. His rivalry with Hank the Angry Drunken Drawf was legendary.

Beetlejuice is a dynamo. Simply turn the microphone over to him and the show will soar to hilarious heights (unless he's in an angry mood). Beetlejuice has starred in movies and television too. Scary Movie 2 (2001), Bubble Boy (2001), This is Beetle (2009).

With a history too rich and deep to even begin to explore here, Beetlejuice is our #1 Wack Packer.


#2. Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf


Nobody. And I mean, nobody could control Hank the Angry Dwarf when he was on a bender in the Howard Stern studio. But who would want to?

He was intelligent, witty and damn funny. He once crushed Gary Dell'Abate (Baba Booey) in a rock 'n roll trivia contest as he was literally falling of his stool drunk... and Baba Booey considers himself to be an expert in this area (70's & 80's music)! The feud between Hank and Beetlejuice was incredible... listening to these guys duel was music to every fan's ears.

Hank passed away just before 9/11, but his contributions to the show will live on forever.


#3. Gary the Retard


Gary the Retard. The lovable, mentally challenged guest with thick glasses and a toothless smile will always be a fan favorite. I have never turned off the Howard Stern Show when Gary is on... it doesn't matter if he's in the studio, on the phone or the butt of a crank phone call... Gary never gets old!

Who will ever forget when Gary travelled to the moon (actually the Howard Stern Show green room)? Or when he exchanged verbal barbs with Wendy the Retard?

On of my favorites Gary moments: the crank call from Richard and Sal...

Gary: "Hello?"

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Gary: "Quit it."

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Gary: "Quit it."

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Scroll to Continue

Gary: "I'm gonna tell Howard on you!"

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Gary: "You're sick. Bye."


#4. Wendy the Retard


Wendy loves to sing! She loves to call radio stations and talk... Howard Stern is not the only show she calls (just the best). Wendy loves drinking beer and her drunken voice mail messages are priceless.  She's an excellent babysitter too!

A sample of Wendy's classic voice mail messages (look them up on

"I'm Bored"

"I'm Going Nuts Without Power"

"Feel Like Drinking"

"Lose My Mind"

"I Hate Hurricanes"


#5. High Pitch Eric


High Pitch Eric.  Known for his falsetto speaking voice and his inability to hold down any respectable job, poor hygiene, and willingness to submit himself to any degrading act.  He has tried his hand at phony phone calls, check bouncing, and crapping in a bucket. 

Eric is loved because he causes problems everywhere he goes.  High Pitch Eric is the prototypical Wack Packer. 


Honorable Mention: Underdog Lady


Underdog Lady (Suzanne Muldowney). Classic Wack Packer. She is at once a performance artist and serious comic book character. She is the champion of Underdog (thinks she's Underdog?).

Her Howard Stern Show appearances are generally brief because she will hang up on Howard if she feels that he is too crude and vulgar. (And when isn't he?... all the time if you are an avid Howard Stern fan)

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jeremy on June 07, 2015:

1.Beet 2.Eric the midget 3.Bigfoot 4.Gary the retard 5.High pitch

Wendy is obviously an actor so she shouldn't be on any list. I think #2 I'd debatable b/w etm and bigfoot. But this is how the list should be.

ana on February 05, 2014:

daniel carver? wtf hes by far the best

Huzz on October 16, 2012:

Where is Debbie the pet lady?

Mark Wilson on July 29, 2010:

Speech Impediment man is the best Howard needs to bring him back on the show I love when he calls in I loved his pepper spray Joke.

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