Top 10 Worst Song Titles by Whitesnake.
A feast of the worst that Classic Rock and Blues band Whitesnake have had to offer over many years.
Not in the sense of the music necessarily but simply in the cringe-inducing titles of some of their songs.
Much of the blame must of course be laid at their leader in the shape of one Mr David Coverdale.
Although a legend in the annals of Rock and one of its greatest singers since he entered the scene with Deep Purple back in the 1970s he has never been lyrically gifted.
The likes of Sammy Cahn, Hal David and Bernie Taupin would never fear competition from the pen of the foremost proponent of raunch n' roll. Here are therefore presented 10 of the worst song titles by Whitesnake.
10. LIE DOWN (A MODERN LOVE SONG)
So lie down, I think I love you,
Lie down, I think I care.
Lie down, I think I love you,
Lie down, I think I care.
Perhaps not the worst example from the Whitesnake back catalogue but it came from their earlier days of course.
It features on the debut album 'Trouble' which was released in 1978.
It seemingly took a while before the really awful song titles emerged.
The song itself is pretty good, a straight-forward rock and roller with a catchy chorus.
But little wonder that Coverdale encountered accusations of sexism. In his defence he always did point out that the band had an army of female fans who seemed to have no problem with the content.
The flavour of the lyrics are reminiscent of songs like 'Love at First Feel' by ACDC but lacking the cheeky wit and earthy charm of Bon Scott's humour. A portent of the saucy wink and the humour of the seaside postcard which was to come.
9. WHIPPING BOY BLUES
I'm crazy 'bout you, baby
You really know the score
Over, under, sideways, down
Till I'm crawling on the floor
Taking a quantum leap forward this song was offered up on their 2011 album 'Forevermore' and proved that they were still capable of dropping the odd clanger.
It was a shame really as their later albums had shown a good deal more semantic maturity than the band did in their heyday.
Nevertheless they certainly did not reach the heights musically of the classic Whitesnake of the late 70's and the 80's.
A trade-off between rousing chords and eloquent wordage it seems.
The perennial Blues theme of the downtrodden man in the face of the enemy in the Battle of the Sexes was far better expressed by Coverdale in his classics of 'Mistreated' with Deep Purple and 'Cryin in the Rain' with Whitesnake. But 'Whipping Boy Blues' was a small aberration among their modern back catalogue. There was much worse before it.
8. ROUGH AN' READY
All of you woman better
Lift up your skirts an' run,
'Cos I aim to shoot my pistol
An' fire like a Gatlin gun
Much like their lyrics we suppose and typical example of the 'adjective-conjunctive-adjective' structure favoured in many of their songs.
Grammar teachers and linguists may have an especial interest in studying the work.
Of course the letter 'd' must be dropped from the word 'and' which is standard practice among the Rock song scribblers all over the world. The poor old letter 'g' universally suffers the same fate.
This was forgiveable with such classics as 'Ready an' Willing' and 'Slow an' Easy' but this song does not enjoy the saving grace of having a great tune to make up for the shortcomings of the verse. Coming from the 1982 'Saints and Sinners' album it was in familiar company most of the songs failed to hit the grade with the exception of 'Crying in the Rain' and the immortal 'Here I Go Again'.
7. HIT N' RUN
So many women I know
Think they can tie me down,
I will never let them take me alive
I hit an' run, hit an' run, hit an' run, hit an' run, hit an' run.
The words here went one further, or to be exact one less, when not only the letter 'd' disappeared from the word 'and' but even the letter 'a' as well.
All that was left was the filling in the sandwich.
Here Mr Coverdale is comparing the art of lovemaking to that of an act of criminality on the road.
An accident waiting to happen or perhaps a train wreck of a song. A definite lowlight of the memorable 'Come an' Get it' album of 1981 although a mention must be made of 'Would I lie to You' where at the end of the song Coverdale can't resist explaining that he indeed would lie in order "To get into your pants". An irresistible charm persists from the underwear removal machine.
6. KITTEN'S GOT CLAWS
But, the kittens got claws,
She'll tear your heart out
The kittens got claws,
She'll scratch your back
Another tune that deserved a better song title.
This fairly rocks along at a frantic pace and has a great lead up to the chorus in "Sweet sweet, Child of the Street" which is actually stronger musically than the chorus itself.
Appearing on the 1989 'Slip of the Tongue' album the band were accused of losing that classic Whitesnake Blues sound. The addition of the tight, clinical guitar style of Steve Vai didn't help matters. More suited to the idiosyncratic music of Dave Lee Roth who incidentally had more of a handle on sly innuendo in both his Van Halen days and his solo career
Remarkably the landmark '1987' album which preceded it oozed class both musically and lyrically. Also the band had been completely revamped and the old guard had gone. So the likes of Moody, Marsden and Galley couldn't be blamed for any crass innuendo in the chosen words. But 'Kittens Got Claws' exposed Coverdale back to his old habits again. A strong song that deserved better lyrics.
5. HOT STUFF
I walk the street 'round midnight,
Looking for a little hot stuff,
I can't get enough
I just can't get enough, hot stuff,
Hot stuff, hot stuff
The definition of the word "stuff" can mean many things.
One example is "The essential substance or elements" or even the "essence" of something.
The quill pen of the Tudor genius William Shakespeare spoke of "We are such stuff, As dreams are made of" in the 16th century
The great Astronomer Carl Sagan reminded us in the 20th century that "We are made of starstuff" from the immensity of the universe.
We can only surmise that Whitesnake had something altogether different in mind. This was a poor man's version of 'Ready an' Willing' as the verses are almost identical. Some nice keyboard playing by the late Jon Lord but otherwise forgettable. Certainly not the most sophisticated hymn of praise to the female form.
4. CHEAP AN' NASTY
You're cheap an' nasty,
All you wanna do is, give it up,
Cheap an' nasty,
Come on an' do the dirty with me
Another terrible title from the 'Slip of the Tongue' album and not the last to appear on this list of grating hits from Whitesnake.
A possible sequel to 'Rough an' Ready' we might speculate and an inferior sequel if that were at all possible.
Starkly misogynistic from the old silver-tongued warrior poet on lead vocals and far removed from 'Is This Love' but definitely a case of 'Here I Go Again'. A time of Pomp Rock and peroxide as their international popularity was at its peak.
But also sad proof that lyrical maturity was not forthcoming even into the 1990s. Musically it was rather ordinary and uninspiring as well but they did insist on playing it live anyway.
3. SPIT IT OUT
An' spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it
Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it
Now we are really getting into the nitty-gritty of pure bad taste if you'll pardon the pun.
If you can't beat them then join them I suppose and I stand guilty of indulging in some double-entendre too.
A linguistic metaphor or a literal meaning arises from this song on the 1983 'Slide it in' album, if that wasn't bad enough.
A hard one to swallow and Whitesnake at their barrel-scraping worst in terms of the lingo.
The tune itself isn't all that bad and boast a cool riff but the chorus is decidedly average with the expectoration cry the only discernible element worth remarking. Sleaze n' Cheesy indeed.
This was the album that Whitesnake began their infamous Led Zeppelin rip-offs which would culminate with 'Still of the Night' and the Kashmir-laden 'Judgement Day' later in the decade. The lucrative American market was firmly in Coverdale's sights and he wouldn't miss the target.
2. SLIDE IT IN
I'm gonna slide it in
Right to the top,
Slide it in,
I ain't never gonna stop
David revealed in a contemporary interview that he was inspired by Joe Walsh with the latter's 'You Bought it, You Name it' album title in 1983.
However Walsh's subtlety was lost on the Whitesnake front man and his comical offer of 'Slide it in' from the album of the same name was the sorry outcome.
The 'Carry on Coverdale' series of nudge-nudge, wink-wink playground humour continued unabated and unabashed. One wonders if 'The Deeper the Love' of 1991 was inspired by this raw predecessor. If so it would surely be a case of the ridiculous sinking into the sublime.
1. SLOW POKE MUSIC
Slow poke music,
I'll get you down to the bone
Slow poke music,
I'll never leave you alone
It's back to 'Slip of the Tongue' for what is probably the worst ever song title that Whitesnake have come up with.
A 'Slowpoke' in American slang is a dawdler, someone lagging behind the others. Perhaps "Like a drifter I was born to walk alone" kind of person.
But Whitesnake's less than subtle double-meaning lands with a thud on the aesthetic sensibilities. They might have well covered the Sex Pistols 'Friggin in the Riggin' which would have been more honest.
As it is this raunchy and dreadful paean to the female frontal orifice will have to suffice. Not one for lovers to cuddle up to under the candlelight of an evening. Unless it turns on some lovers and old romantics. It takes all sorts.
After that cathartic exorcism of the inner demons it's worth remembering what an excellent band Whitesnake have been over the decades. So many great songs, so many wonderful musicians and incredible concerts.
Being a huge fan myself I temper my scorn of these aforementioned superduds by my admiration of the achievements of one of England's greatest rock bands. A band to rouse the hardcore and moisten the undies of the masses. Raise the microphone stand high upon high and salute the snake.
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Colin Garrow from Inverbervie, Scotland on February 04, 2015:
Hilarious! I saw Whitesnake at Newcastle City Hall many years ago, but never thought much about their lyrics. Great Hub, voted up.
Shinkicker (author) from Scotland on November 03, 2012:
Thanks for commenting mcrani :-)
There are many great songs by Whitesnake and Mr Coverdale too. He's a legend in rock and blues!!
Mcrani on November 03, 2012:
very good, well done! Eventhou' Mr. Coverdale can...everything..yes he can with his super sexy voice & moves:) yeah he got the blues! & rock n' roll! ;)
Shinkicker (author) from Scotland on September 16, 2012:
Poor SpongeBob indeed Georgie :-)
Thanks for stopping by and commenting
GH Price from North Florida on September 16, 2012:
Holy crap, Batman! I dig your title choices, but the photos cracked me up. Very inspiring. Poor SpongeBob! :)
Shinkicker (author) from Scotland on September 12, 2012:
LOL. Great comment e-five :-) I think you're right. Non-English speaking fans might not get the crudeness of the innuendo.
Thanks for commenting
John C Thomas from Chicago, Illinois, USA on September 12, 2012:
I do not know why, but for some reason David Coverdale is some kind of Rock God in Brazil. Coverdale is to Brazil what Hasselhoff is in Germany. Maybe because they can't understand the lyrics, I hope?