This Movie Review is the Brain Child of so many different personalities!!!
This review is brought to you by the Snow Hollow, Utah chamber of commerce.
Snow Hollow! We have ice cold snow for your skiing pleasure! And we have things that are also hollow in case you’re looking for a place to rest after skiing and you don’t feel like going all the way over to your rental house or lodge. Just comfortably fit yourself into one of our hollow crevices and trees and take a load off.
Just be sure that it’s not too cold or else one or more of your body parts will freeze and more than likely break off and it’ll be hours before you notice and then you’ll go to the hotel or rental place and complain that your hand or foot got frostbite and is now missing or just hanging by a sinewy thread. Then the good folks at the Snow Hollow Lodge will show you the release you signed saying you can’t sue if you take a nap in one of our hollows and lose a limb or in the case of Jeff and Karen Bradshaw, many limbs.
After you read the release with whichever one of your hands isn’t missing, you’ll accept that you’re going to have to live the rest of your life with only one hand. Bradley Cooper from the Snow Hollow Lodge will give you a nice hot cup of cocoa to hold in your good and but not before cauterizing your stump with it first.
You’ll say,” It sucks that my hand is gone but that is a darn fine cup of cocoa. I’m sure glad I went to Snow Hollow and don’t regret it for a moment.”
Bradley Cooper will reply, “Just sit there and drink your cocoa and I’ll tell you story that reads an awful lot like a movie review. It’s about the time we had a wolf. A wolf in Snow Hollow. Just finish your cocoa and by the time the review, um, story is done your hand will grow back.”
I forgot to mention that in Snow Hollow they have a regenerative hot cocoa that will replace your missing limbs/appendages in the time it takes to read a review.
That’s why Snow Hollow is so popular. Because of the skiing and the magical cup of regenerative hot cocoa.
And the brothels.
Snow Hollow Synopsis
The Wolf of Snow Hollow opens with generic crane and drone shots of snowy mountains, that way you know there’s snow in this place.
We meet two our two lovebirds PJ (Jimmy Tatro) and Brianne (Annie Hamilton). They’ve rented a house for the weekend.
PJ and Brianne plan for a lovely relaxing time together. Brianne doesn’t know that PJ is going to propose to her.
After a romantic soak in the hot tub, PJ runs to the bedroom to get something. Brianne says she will follow right after she turns off the hot tub.
PJ has the ring in his pocket. He goes outside, ready to propose but instead sees his wife-to-be in a mutilated mess in the snow. PJ is too busy screaming to realize there’s a full moon out.
On the bright side, Brianne was mauled and killed before PJ had a chance to propose so they weren’t technically engaged.
On the disgusting side--
It looks like whatever animal did this to her also took her lady parts. What kind of animal would do such a thing?
The more than capable police of Snow Hollow arrive on the scene.
Sherriff Hadley (Robert Forster, in his final role) has been on the job a long time, and he’s never seen anything like this in Snow Hollow.
Deputy and next-in-line for Sherriff John Marshall (writer/director Jim Cummings, The Beta Test) does not need a murdering genital-stealing animal right now. He’s a recovering alcoholic who’s got custody of his daughter Jenna (Chloe East) for the next couple of weeks before she goes to college. He’d like to spend some quality time with her instead of dealing with a vicious killer. Homicides only happen once every couple of years in Snow Hollow.
John’s fellow deputy Officer Robson (Riki Lindhome) notices a giant paw mark in the snow. The other soon-to-be-dead deputies surmise it’s a wolf. Possibly a werewolf.
John doesn’t believe in werewolves because they don’t exist.
Tell that to the next couple of victims, a young woman and her daughter.
John’s gone to more than one funeral in the past week and he and the rest of the department are no closer to catching whatever animal that’s definitely not a werewolf did this. It’s starting to make him want to drink again.
Because there’s another full moon coming up.
Okay. A full moon right after a full moon. Sure, that’s plausible. As plausible as a werewolf mutilating women in our previously sleepy hollow town of Snow Hollow.
John better get his favorite funeral suit of his dry-cleaned, because if he doesn’t put a stop to these killings, he’s going to have to wear it a lot more often.
Snow Hollow- A fun place to visit, unless you’re a woman because you’ll most likely get killed and dismembered!
What Works With The Wolf of Snow Hollow
- A drily comic performance by writer/director Jim Cummings. Snow Hollow is unexpectedly rife with behavioral comedy, which releases the tension from some of the more gruesome sequences. The performance is a balancing act in tone, and Cummings hits way more than he misses.
- Those of you expecting a basic werewolf movie will be extremely disappointed. The screenplay manages to fit musings on misogyny and toxic masculinity in what appears to be a standard genre picture. Snow Hollow wears the skin of a generic horror movie, but there’s something under the surface. Cummings doesn’t beat you over the head with it, but it’s there if you care to look.
- Seeing the great character actor Robert Forster one last time. Many of us first saw him in Jackie Brown, even though he’d had quite the career before that. Thanks for the work and rest in peace.
What Doesn’t Work With The Wolf of Snow Hollow
- One of the movie’s strengths is also it’s main weakness. Snow Hollow goes through the motions of the genre, but only in the most standard way. There really isn’t a moment you’re actually scared because you’ve seen it all before in Silver Bullet and The Howling. But you should still see it.
The Wolf of Wall St…Snow Hollow isn’t perfect, but it is interesting if you’re looking for something different. Jim Cummings has something to say and uses familiar horror tropes to say it. Watch it and enjoy the change of pace.