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The 10 Most Asked Questions in the World: Answers from Science and Less Disciplined Disciplines

Mystery and Anxiety

Life is filled with mystery, and for many people, just trying to navigate the treacherous waters of our existence is a frustrating and even frightening thing. Terrible things happen for which there are no simple answers to explain them away. Wars and pestilence. Tornadoes and typhoons. Even our own bodies begin to betray us as we age. There are lots of questions that plague our minds causing grief and stress as we make our way through this jungle known as life. For many of us, if we could just get some answers, we could live more easily despite the worry all these stressors often cause. Even if the answers aren't exactly what we want to hear, at least the knowing would help us find some measure of comfort in a world that seems so cruel.

So, in response to this human need, this desire for comfort and some guidance along the path of life, I've decided to put my considerable learning and human insights to work for you, my fellow humanity. I take no responsibility for the questions or the answers that are to come. I merely gathered up the questions and addressed them with as much accuracy as learning, logic and my own metaphysical acuity can command. May you find peace in knowing.

the-top-10-questions-of-life-answers-from-science-and-other-disciplines
the-top-10-questions-of-life-answers-from-science-and-other-disciplines

1. What is the meaning of life?

This is by far the most perplexing question of any on the list. I have studied many religions and philosophies, some very deeply, and I can tell you that if one common lesson, one essential element of life could be boiled down from them all, it would be: Don't be an asshole.

No, seriously, that's it. Just about every world religion says at least that much. I mean, yeah, they say other stuff too, but this is the common ground. This is what they all basically say. I wish I had something fancier to tell you, but if there is a universal truth out there common to all of religion, philosophy and social theory that points to a single successful navigation method to get through life, that's the one. Don't be an ass. That's it. So there you go, and you're welcome.

2. Is there a God?

Yes. Unless I am wrong, in which case, No, there is not.

If it turns out I'm wrong, click here:

If it turns out I'm right, click here:

Notice what everyone is worried about.

Notice what everyone is worried about.

3. Will I get laid tonight?

This question actually gets asked far more often by people around the world than do the two above. However, because the first two get a great deal more consideration by guys with PhDs (mostly because guys with PhDs already know they aren't getting laid so they don't ask anymore), I decided to structure the list the way I have. Anyway, the answer to this universally asked and all consuming question is: Probably not, unless you are a hot chick, at which point it's entirely up to you.

Notice what no one here is worried about.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Notice what no one here is worried about. Coincidence? I think not.

            S U F F E R I N G  AND  D E A T H

S U F F E R I N G AND D E A T H

4. Why is there suffering and death?

Well, since nobody understands how to pull off the answer to number 1 up there and not be an A-hole with any kind of consistency, we are probably being punished by the god in the first part of answer number 2. However, if the second part of number 2 is true, well, then suffering and death just happen because nobody with the power to do anything about it gives a crap. So there you have it.

5. Is there life on other planets?

Yes. I've seen them. I'm still waiting for them to give me back my spleen.

Clear evidence of superiority.

Clear evidence of superiority.

6. Which are better, dogs or cats?

Cats.

Cats come with an instinct for crapping in a plastic box. It's one of nature's miracles, I tell you. Personality and intelligence just can't compete with something like that, sorry dog lovers.

7. How can I lose weight and keep it off?

Very simple: Stop eating. Close that yawning food-vacuum in your face and watch the pounds just melt away. I can't promise how healthy this is in the long term, but I know for a fact *it works.

... this dude lost 340 lbs.

It's not too good for you, but it works!

It's not too good for you, but it works!

These are probably better ideas, but hey...

*While rapid weight loss will occur, research shows that at some point after death (an unfortunate and inevitable side effect) weight loss begins to decrease significantly. Once all soft tissue has decomposed, continued weight loss may be impossible to sustain, particularly if fossilization solidifies the remaining skeleton - this may actually result in minor weight re-gain.

8. Do I really have a soul mate?

Yes, but since you spend way too much time fawning over the idea, you'll probably never find one. Consider not doodling unicorns on your notebooks all the time, stop reading poetry, and just go out on a date. The best part is, if the first soul mate doesn't work out, you can get another one whenever you're in the mood. In Las Vegas you can even find people who will pretend to be your soul mate for a fee. So get out there, you've got nothing to lose.

"Hang in there baby!"

"Hang in there baby!"

9. When is the World coming to an end?

Great news on this one, the answer is: Never. That's right, you heard it, the world is NEVER coming to an end. Best part is, that's totally true too. Science proved long ago that energy can't be destroyed, it can only be changed. Well, all the elements comprising the Earth are derived of stored energy at some level, so no matter what, even when the Sun goes supernova or whatever, the Earth will still be around in some form or another.

You'll be dead, obviously, melted horribly into a little steamy pile, but, yeah, the good news is, the world will never come to an end. It will just get its parts moved around or maybe scattered as dust into a solar wind. But it will still be there. That's a real comfort in my opinion.

See a pattern here?

This is why it's called male pattern baldness and not chick pattern baldness.

This is why it's called male pattern baldness and not chick pattern baldness.

A typical woman after two weeks without shaving.

A typical woman after two weeks without shaving.

10. Why do men lose their hair?

This is the most complicated question, oddly, but the answer is: because men are more highly evolved than chicks. That's why. Darwin proved beyond doubt that humanity evolved from primate ancestry. Primate ancestry basically means monkey-people. So, as it is well established fact that monkeys are hairy, and given that through evolution's amazing processes humans became less and less hairy the further they evolved, it is obvious just by looking that men have climbed higher up the evolutionary ladder than women have. Look at how much hair grows on women's heads if you don't believe.

Women try to hide how hairy they really are by shaving all kinds of other places to throw us off. They think we don't know that if they let themselves go, their pits would look like they'd just slapped a pair of terriers under there. And their legs, hah, let's just say razor neglect would bring both meanings of the word "calves" together in a single place. It is a scientific fact that women grow 374% more hair than men and 600 times more rapidly. Or at least I think it is. So what else do you need to know?

Knowledge is Power

There are the answers to ten most pressing questions plaguing humanity today. Some of you may not care for those answers, but all I can do is nod politely and offer insincere apologies. Facts like these are simply impossible to make up. I hope that in the end, you can find some comfort in knowing the nature of the truth.

More 10 Most Asked Questions:

  • Ten More Top Ten Most Asked Questions in the World
    More of the top 10 questions...It seems there are more than ten top ten questions, which in itself seems like it should spur a most asked question as to how that can be. Perhaps one day it will. But for now, have a look if these ten weren't enough.

I'd love to see you again...

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    Come play along as I roll out my latest novels, short stories, and blog ideas. Maybe I'll think of some more answers to the most asked questions in the world by the time you get there. Or perhaps you'll think of a question I haven't thought of yet!

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Comments

Finder on October 16, 2017:

Hi Shadesbreath, the comments you have here dated between 6~2 years back, I hope you are still around here. I am just wondering how did you come up with these 10 questions? Just Google?

Bill A.K.A. your father on August 21, 2015:

So if women grow hair 600 times faster and hair grows at .5 inches a month, im hearing that they are not donating near enough hair to locks of love.

runningwater on September 07, 2014:

ahaaa, I like the way you think,,,, I like your questions, but Im afraid because your answers told me that you are already an A-hole. hihihi....no harm, I make bad joke sometimes.

friend, I have a question can you help me? .... did dogs ask these same questions and have the same answers?

Shadesbreath (author) from California on August 30, 2012:

Comedy requires one part truth, two parts absurdity. Often, taken together, it looks like fiction. Usually it is. Sometimes not. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the humor.

reward on August 30, 2012:

every one of your answers has a lie. but it was fun to read;)

Shadesbreath (author) from California on July 02, 2012:

Or at least so we can tell ourselves we know where we stand in this universe. Human history proves that, where facts are hard to come by, a good story will suffice.

CritiqueMe from www.critiqueme.com on July 02, 2012:

These questions really got us thinking. Even though we may not have all the answers, human beings try to answer all these questions so that we know where we stand in this universe.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 30, 2012:

Hi Stephanie. Yes, these are truly the most asked questions. I'm glad you enjoyed my take at the answers. I'll have a look at that formvote thing and see if perhaps there aren't some riches to be made there for an ascetic like myself.

Stephanie Mcdermott on June 29, 2012:

It's really true lol. These questions really do get asked a lot. I see them a bit on that new network about asking questions - www.Formvote.com - should check it out. Great article!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 26, 2012:

You are quite welcome, Ernest. I'm glad you enjoyed them. Thank you for saying so.

ERNEST OPARAOCHAEKWE on June 26, 2012:

I LOVE YOUR QUEATIONS AND VERY NICE, TANKS

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 19, 2012:

Yes, well, I've disavowed the iron king recently even taking to spelling his name without capital letters as a way to show my devotion to Le Cause de Liberté.

And I'm not sure it's going to work well to define "meaning" so broadly. Too much wiggle room in there and people will come along and make squishy arguments out of it.

coelocanth on June 19, 2012:

Yeah, that's the trouble with the big questions: you have to define your terms.

For "meaning", I was thinking in terms of intentions, ends, aims, etc., which paradigm encompasses both purpose and reason.

When we say "life", don't we mean existence, being, our collective journey through this vale of tears?

And as far life not seeming to be a necessary prerequisite for iron, well, I wouldn't let the Iron King hear me talk like that if I were you!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 17, 2012:

Well, I think that is an excellent alternative to my answer, and the answer provided by Douglas Adams of 42. I am fairly sure we will all escape the misery before we become iron, but you are right, we all will. Yet one has to wonder if that still counts as the meaning of life, for life does not seem to be necessary prerequisite for iron. Unless there is something you know about iron that we don't.

coelocanth on June 16, 2012:

A good effort and nicely panglossian but the real answer to themeaning of life is iron.

By this I mean that as every element above iron on the periodic table is in a state of constant decay and every one below is in a state of constant accretion, it can be seen that the ultimate ambition of every particle of matter in the universe is to become iron.

If you don't believe me, just wait a few trillion years until everything is a cold, dark and solid lump and you will see that that lump is made of iron.

Of course, this means that nothing we say and nothing we do matters in the slightest so just enjoy yourself and try not to make too much mess.

To quote the great Philip Larkin:

[ misery ]... deepens like an ocean shelf

so get out as quickly as you can

and don't have any kids yourself

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 14, 2012:

A fine contribution, and an excellent bit of philosophy is one decides to seek it.

Your name on June 13, 2012:

Post comment

Shadesbreath (author) from California on May 16, 2012:

See, isn't science and philosophy fun, Juantipid? :D

juantipid on May 16, 2012:

Man that is insane hahahahhahahahaa

Shadesbreath (author) from California on May 03, 2012:

Yes, Mubi0346, I can, but I think if you read that answer carefully, you can easily see how to think it through yourself, in which case, you won't need me to prove it. Remember, read the WHOLE answer, not just one part.

mubi0346 on May 03, 2012:

can you prove your question number 2 ....

Shadesbreath (author) from California on April 20, 2012:

Cheers, Harry. :)

Harry on April 20, 2012:

By all means, for who is it that creates words. I love the way you put that shades. Like you i too believe theres a little bit more to the equation.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on April 20, 2012:

Harry, I think you're probably pretty close to spot on with that. I'm not sure I believe there is anything that counts as "the" true key to bliss, but I think forgiveness is absolutely hanging on the blissness key ring (if I may be allowed to butcher the word lol).

Harry on April 20, 2012:

Have faith in those you love and regardless of what your personal thoughts might be never give up on anyone. One day if you havnt already yet come to the conclusion your gonna wake up and realize the true key to bliss is forgiveness.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on April 18, 2012:

It's all in the name of good fun, Moe, though you are right, nobody knows what kinds of things we might be capable of one day.

And "hiiii."

moe on April 18, 2012:

yeah and iam 10 years hiiii

moe on April 18, 2012:

after all of this two years dont you think yowaiested your time in a pointless awnsers i mean (YOUR GOING TO DIE ) i think no body rember what happened when he was born but i think we going to born for the tommy of this world but if you wanna change humenbeens you can cuz still there no body know the mystry of humans brain its alot of power there up in your head just try to not give up thinking creating doing talking dont give up of anything that it make your brains work then we could go see other placese live and know more and more just think

Shadesbreath (author) from California on April 13, 2012:

Hi Ted. You may be right on both counts. I could come up with arguments for both, by why? More fun this way.

Musa, a bit late, on my part, but hi, and, um, what is funny Qauqasis or the article? Maybe both, eh?

ted on April 12, 2012:

Also cats suck. A good cat is a dead cat

ted on April 12, 2012:

You are a nob

musa on March 09, 2012:

hm im from Qauqasis its funny

Shadesbreath (author) from California on March 05, 2012:

Anonymous, all I can say is that I am glad you have found everything you need in your religion. Frankly, I'm almost envious. I wish I had total certainty of how it all works and why. As long as your certainty doesn't turn into justification for why certain unbelievers need to be eliminated, I'm genuinely happy for you. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. :)

anonymous on March 04, 2012:

ok first of all, the talk about god. He is real. anyone who doesn't believe so is really opinionated because there is proof. read the bible and the things that you learn in history class and in real life are the same thing. Jesus will come after those who don't beleive will give into the antichrist which is really a huge test from god for us to actually prove to god that we trust in him and we love him and onlyhim and won't be fooled by some human coming on earth. meanwhile, those wo beleive to those who don't, how much do you have to hate a person to not save them. I have facts in my life that prove god is real. so that everyday life that you live, live it for god cause nothing on earth mattes but him. it we live for him then when we die we will live in eternity. About the getting laid part... what the heck. why worry about pleasure for yourself when there are so many others that are worried about what they are going to eat for their next meal, or if they will even have one? how selfish this world has become. Anyway, seriously, being sexualy active your not only taking a risk of getting an std, but your also seriosly taking huge chance of spending eternity in hell. which is the worst place you can possible think of to be. I wouldn't want anyone to go there. do yourself a favor and ask yourself a question... maybe two... if there is a god(which I know for a fact there is), and if you don't beleive, what's wrong with doing what is right and tristing in him cause when you die and there is a god, (which there is), you just saved yourself. another question... would you rather contract an std or live without the stress and worry about taking the risk of getting it?

Shadesbreath (author) from California on February 26, 2012:

Sometimes I crack myself up and make me lol too, so it's nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks this stuff is funny. Thanks.

tommyhowell lover on February 26, 2012:

i cant beileve people are mean to u like that! ur friggin awesomes!!!!!!!!!!! btw u crack me up and make me lol!!!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on January 11, 2012:

Well, given that I too turn and run when danger comes, it actually seems like I probably have way more in common with cats, eh?

I confess it's either a sign of intelligence or cowardice. Given the stakes in a live-or-die scenario, I think I'm fine with any semantic differences. :D

The dog on January 11, 2012:

Dogs will always love you and protect you cats turn and run when danger comes around unless their a main coon cat.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on November 23, 2011:

Badtotehboner, to answer your question, No. But thanks for asking.

Is it Possible:

I'm not sure if you read this article very closely, but, if you didn't, you might consider going back and doing so before you ask me a serious question. I mean, I will answer it if you want, but, well, it's sort of one of those "you get what you pay for" kind of things. But then again, based on your question, I suppose that actually makes perfect sense.

Is it possible? on November 22, 2011:

Is it possible to make your own website free? I want to have a website to support university students but I am not able to pay for that so if kindly someone tell me about this.

badtotheboner on September 13, 2011:

will you all shut the f*** up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on August 11, 2011:

Heh, yeah, I always get a kick out of finding something in a genuine search that leads me to a hubber I know. Glad you laughed. I made a part two to this that does pretty well too. I suppose I should do a part three as well. So few comedic pieces actually generate ongoing traffic, might as well keep the franchise fresh.

Nell Rose from England on August 11, 2011:

Hi, this was hilarious! thanks for the laugh it made my day! the funny thing was that I am on another site at the moment, and wanted to know what the most popular questions on the internet were! I clicked on a random site, and you came up! lol now I can't stop laughing! brilliant and very funny.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on July 28, 2011:

Thanks, Richard. As a pseudo-scientist and man of the world, this sort of semi-informative writing is all part of what I do.

RichardCMckeown on July 27, 2011:

Uniquely written hub! Thanks for sharing.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on January 28, 2011:

I was going to delete it, Stan, but, because I am rude most of the time myself, I felt it would be hypocritical of me to delete a comment based on rudeness. I'm sorry.

Stan Fletcher from Nashville, TN on January 27, 2011:

Is Uni a 'tard? That's where we get the word unitard I guess. Please delete this as it is a rude comment.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on January 25, 2011:

But, as I pointed out, cats come with an instinct for crapping in a plastic box. Not only is that a miracle of nature, because, if you think about it, plastic didn't even exist when the species of cat came about (dude, how amazing is that? Like, it's almost eerie, and might be argued as proof of God's plan), it's also just damn convenient. So, while dogs are definitely more loving, I'll give you that, cats show some affection (more or less depending on the cat) and the love you don't get from a cat is more than offset by the plastic box crapping thing. Fact.

:)

Anthony on January 25, 2011:

Dogs love you more, fact. They forget easily too!! Cats really dont.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on January 06, 2011:

No rude replies, I agree. HOwever, my point is that the world will not end, but only be changed (albeit obliterated into a zillion tiny particles) but that doesn't end it. I mean, when I take a scoop of ice cream (which is round just like our planet is for the most part), and drop it into a blender and make a milkshake out of it, the globe of ice cream is not gone, but merely become something new, in this case a delicious milk shake. We humans are like chocolate chips flavoring the scoop of Earth, hurtling through space on our way to that great galactic blender that will make shakes out of us. Won't that be scrumptious.

I'm very happy you are enjoying the religion of your choice. Thanks for commenting.

Uni on January 06, 2011:

The world will end one day and I know it. But no one knows when is the thing. no rude replys or anything it will end some day I promise you....

Another thing as Lds people we believe that we r on this earth to learn and grow to be more Christ like so we can be with him again. I am very proud to be LDS.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on December 14, 2010:

It's true. Seems so simple too, and yet... never. (sigh).

jdsandara from California on December 14, 2010:

If only people would listen to your #1 the world would be a much better place!

Love your wit!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on September 17, 2010:

Good. That is as it should be, OrlandoC. :D

OrlandoC from Glen Ridge on September 16, 2010:

So funny. You're my new favorite.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on September 15, 2010:

Dr. Ahmed El Banna, I do appreciate your taking the time to comment and promote your religion. I would like to point out that humor is one of those things that sometimes does not work between all people, so, for whatever it's worth, and this is just between you and me (so don't tell anyone) this hub is not actually scientific. I made it up. :) It's just funny. Even though some of it IS actually really good advice, and even true. Just, some of it isn't. It's a joke. So, you can relax and enjoy it now. No challenge to Islam here. :)

DR AHMED EL BANNA on September 14, 2010:

with all my respect and on behave of all understanding man kind there is nothing true about this answers

however there are some of them may be quite resonable or may be based on scientific facts but the truth about every question is illustrated in the islamic relegion and ELQURAN EL KAREM which is the holly book of islam which is telling every thing in our tiny world from beging of creatures till the end of the world

Mstardom on July 07, 2010:

I just can't stop laughing at these jokes. I think you should create a few YouTube videos with these scripts.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 22, 2010:

That is the best syllogism of all time. I've never seen that one! Haha! There have been sooooooooooo many occasions where I could have abused that! I will be stealing that, so thank you for leaving it out here unattended.

mysterylady 89 from Florida on June 22, 2010:

My dear Shadesbreath, you have brought such joy into my life. While I cannot admit defeat, I do praise you as a formidable adversary. (I would not use the word obfuscation wih just anyone.) I'll save for another day my feelings about Aristotle. Just remember the syllogism

All dogs are hairy.

My cat is hairy.

Therefore, my cat is a dog.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 21, 2010:

Mysterlady, kind and erudite visitor to my humble hub, while I certainly appreciate the compliment regarding my obfuscative powers, I must counter your Socrates discipline with my own Aristotelian brand, which allows that the tools of sophistry are perfectly acceptable if the cause is just--the ends justifying the means as it were--and I consider my pragmatic application so authorized as evidence of the seeds of Socrates having grown to maturity, climbing if you will the ladder of their own philsophical evolution. So, having such profoundly harvested rhetorical such and such so gotten and begotten, etc., view it as evidence of my higher evolution. However, I am impressed that you have acknowledged a male source of inspiration and might say you are on the right track, only needing a few more rungs of choosing the correct theory to catch up! (Yes, this last was below the belt, but, I am shameless, particuraly when it comes to such good fun.)

mysterylady 89 from Florida on June 21, 2010:

My dear Shadesbreath, I knew the word obfuscation, but I had to look it up to check the spelling. I hope I got it right. You are an absolute master at this art! While, I, a disciple of Socrates, prides herself in using lucid syllogisms, you try to murky up the issue. Clearly, I proved that men are neanderthals, as compared to women. Clearly, I also proved I am your superior on the evolutionary chain.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 21, 2010:

As much as I respect and enjoy your considered opinion on this topic, I must assert that you have missed an obvious flaw in your excellent postulation rendering said excellence less, erm, excellent: the hairless women are merely the more highly evolved amongst women whilst the hairy men are the least evolved of the men. Within any statistical population, as you will surely agree, there is a degree of variance. So in humanity, when taken as a whole species, the male is more highly evolved given the propensity for baldness in general. Furthermore, the hairlessness of men is on their heads, which means that their higher evolution is taking place near their brains (just is the wisdom tooth thing also takes place within the confines of the skull), so, by proximal relationship, again, I must assert that men are, in fact, the more highly evolved generally and ultimately, barring a few statistical outliers, overall as well.

mysterylady 89 from Florida on June 21, 2010:

I think it is hilarious that you, too, bragged about being more highly evolved because you had only TWO wisdom teeth. I knew we had something in common, even keeping in mind I had NONE. Alas, though, after I recovered from laughing over your hub, I discovered a logical fallacy: Some men go bald while others retain a full head of hair. Some women go bald, while others do not. Some men have hairy chests - and even hair growing on their backs. Some women have very little body hair. Therefore, hair - or lack of it- is not what determines a higher species. Ergo, I, who have very little body hair and had no wisdom teeth, must be more highly evolved than you. Sorry about that!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 21, 2010:

LOL, Mysterylady, that's so funny about the wisdom teeth thing. I only had two on the bottom, so I have always given everyone else crap about being more apelike than me... therefore even less evolved than me, even they were guys. Now, with you have NO wisdom teeth, you might assume you are more highly evolved than I am. However, if you have a full head of hair, then I, in losing mine, have climbed up to your rung and the two of us stand supreme above all others. (And technically, you have been enlightened on all 20 of the 10 most asked questions in the world. At least the way I see it when I'm amusing myself with jokes nobody else finds funny LOL. Although one person did, so I can't say no one.:)

mysterylady 89 from Florida on June 21, 2010:

Shadesbreath, you are the greatest, even greater than Ali (once known as Cassius Clay). Now that I have been enlightened by your answers to all 20 most frequently asked questions, I feel at peace with the world. I am especially pleased you convinced me that men are higher up the evolution ladder than women. I cannot believe I used to think I was a higher species because I never had wisdom teeth! Thank you.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 03, 2010:

Thank you, !#@$&%*. At HubPages, we do nothing but the most careful philosophy on the net.

!#@$&%* on June 03, 2010:

THis is a great philosophy site

Shadesbreath (author) from California on February 28, 2010:

Yes, an excellent plan, but now, in retrospect, it appears both strategies failed in the marketplace long term. Shocking.

Well. on February 26, 2010:

:) I looked at your self cannibalism vs the water to gas one, haha must suck, he ate his fingers first. I think it was a good plan to get his neighbours though. :]

Shadesbreath (author) from California on February 26, 2010:

I'm glad it amused you, Well. And I can't find any flaws in your logic regarding our pal, Scooby, either. :)

Well. on February 25, 2010:

This is pretty funny, IMO scooby needs to get a life. Why is he calling all of us fags, in which case, he also looked this up and and READ it. Then read all the posts........ So in technical terms, he is the person who needs a life.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on February 20, 2010:

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you. :)

Karli Christine Duran from Texas on February 19, 2010:

Great Hub!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on February 08, 2010:

Hah, I have always thought the same thing about the clitoris. It's not something a guy wants to think about while, you know, doing certain things to his woman orally though, so I try not to contemplate outside of rare philosophical moments like these.

Also, please send me back my spleen. I bet you aren't even using it.

Lela from Somewhere near the heart of Texas on February 07, 2010:

Opinion Duck - The universe is not a closed system, it has no sides or edges - crazy thing just keeps going on forever. What exactly would you create matter from? If you destroyed it, where would it go? Answer: Everything exists now, it has always existed, and will continue to exist for eternity (Things do change molecular attractions and the way they present themselves)

The penis is a giant clitoris.

Shadesbreath - I have your spleen, Mwahahaha

Shadesbreath (author) from California on February 06, 2010:

Yes, he might enjoy that. Or he might hate all kite makers too much to enjoy the fun. I wonder if all kite makers are gay and fags too. Maybe he'll let us know.

Godsnumber94 on February 01, 2010:

Looks like Scooby needs to go and fly a kite...

Shadesbreath (author) from California on January 31, 2010:

Scooby, have another go at number one up there. You may have missed it.

scooby doo 2 on January 28, 2010:

stop being fags and get a fucking life.....your all soooooo gay and take my advise....trust me....i'm trying to be nice to you fags

scooby doo on January 27, 2010:

your fucked up in the head.....i don't know why everyine is saying how your awsome. Your probably just a fag who has nothing else to do.....xbox is the way to go bitch not answering the most frequent questions.....dumb ass!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on December 24, 2009:

lol, I'm waiting for that Bell of Unanswered questions hub with bells on.

Stan Fletcher from Nashville, TN on December 19, 2009:

DUDE!!! This is my first exposure to your idiosyncratic sense of humor. (I just looked up 'idiosyncratic' and wanted to use it once before I forgot what it means.)

I'm a fan. Dig your stuff. I think you might like my Hair on a Rampage post.

8755 and SB, it was clearly a 545455555555512356. You both missed it. (and no, I didn't count the 5's)

I agree Kelvey. Life IS a bell full of unanswered question mystery. You've just given me the title for my next hub.

kelvey on October 29, 2009:

this is very uplifting and life should bell full of unanswered question mistery is great!

Shadesbreath (author) from California on October 21, 2009:

I agree. Sometimes it's more of a 54223094809999, but for the most part, I think you nailed it.

8755 on October 20, 2009:

5454555555555512354

Shadesbreath (author) from California on September 20, 2009:

I think the chances of all that being true are as good as the chances for all of that not being true with about a million other subsets of true and not true pertaining to any combination of all those fine points organized however one would like.

fred on September 19, 2009:

most people would say the meaning of life would to be leaving life to the fullest or some other thing like learn from your mistakes but really thats meaning humans have come up for them selfs to be truthfuly there is no meaning at all if there a meaning to life it would be servive but seeing as how greenhouse gasses and guna drugs and other danges stuff have been introduced we dont even stand a chance of live no more than a couple billion years till the sun goes super nova and explodes well be dea before than of course due to the heat before the super nove or if just went black hole noneless humans were doomed from the start unless we stayed cavenmen then we might just live a little bit longer but the explosion of the super nova or black hole would still end it of course so to be real about it there is nothing we can do to stop this from coming it well come unless it comes earler from a giant rock flying to earth or say we grow advanced that we find away to live on another planet which we will screw maybe unless we change are old ways but if we dont were doomed and the sad part is there is nothing after you will just die. i dont think there is a heaven or hell i think u just die i think this becouse if animals had started to talk and made there own religion we as the human race would say its wrong and they would try to prove to the death that its right but we would know why they are talking and why they have a religion becouse of some freak sicence accient but thats the same we started out we made a religion so who to say there is a heaven and hell would there be one for animals? maybe not but what are the chances of that being true

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 09, 2009:

My god, it's like, when you wrote that, suddenly a light came on and I realized all this time has been a waste. Wow. I'm breathless. Thank you. Thank you so much.

bgoon on June 09, 2009:

yall r dumbasses get a life

Shadesbreath (author) from California on June 01, 2009:

Well, the answer to your first question is easy.  The term "Ovaries" is a compound noun formed from a reference to the variation "varies" of the orgasm "O" or "Big O" as experienced by the two genders (I need not explain the differences here.)  The selection of the term "varies" is particularly impactful and does not by accident also mesh with the concept of variation among species as it occurs in the course of evolution, which, obviously Adam and Eve were a part of despite opposition from various religions.

As for the "test chamber called the Universe" thing... while a very fun idea, the simple fact is that it is merely a "test chamber" called "the Universe."  I had a dog named Universe too, and while it was fun to say the Universe just crapped on my lawn, that circumstance did not, in fact, represent any actual behavior of THE universe.  So, your experiment is not representative of the actual physics really; it's entirely reliant on labels and language, human constructs. A rose (or test chamber) by any other name would smell as sweet (or nasty depending on who was in the room) etc...

Hope this helps.

Opinion Duck on June 01, 2009:

How did women get ovaries from a rib of adam?

The two major differences between men and women is the prostate and the ovaries, all the rest of the parts of derivations.

For example, the Clitoris is the mini penis.

Humans could have been created Asexual and the parts in man and woman would be identical. Of course, woman would be redundant in that case.

Matter cannot be created nor destroyed, only changed. This looks like a closed system universe. The real question is what is on the other side of the big bang and the universe?

If you had a test chamber and called it the Universe and filled it from a bag of stuff, then the Universe would only contain that stuff, no more and no less. But, you could add more stuff from another bag. You could also vacuum back the original stuff.

These thoughts and questions are not humorous as yours, but they are questions.

Shadesbreath (author) from California on May 15, 2009:

That is the way I would have it go were I in charge, which I am, so, all good.

nancy on May 15, 2009:

ogm!!! te worold will end just not any day soon.

it will take billions of years ....

RICHARD1121 on May 02, 2009:

lol!

johnroberts6 from The universe on April 29, 2009:

lol

Shadesbreath (author) from California on August 04, 2008:

THey started at the front door, but, not surprisingly, made a move for the back door almost immediately. I notice your story was remarkably sans probing. I expect that will come next segment. lol

Ananta65 on August 04, 2008:

Aliens at your frontdoor to pick you up?

Shadesbreath (author) from California on August 04, 2008:

Sweet... I'm a goin' now!

Ananta65 on August 04, 2008:

Ok then, here it is: https://hubpages.com/hub/News-from-the-Universe

Not quite the vacation maybe, but the abduction part is in it ;) I'm quite sure you will all like the video :)