My Cat Persephone Wrote this Review on her Smartphone. It was better than Mine. .
Your relative enjoyment of the overly long and underwhelming 4th entry of the Matrix tril-, um, quadrilogy The Matrix Resurrections will depend on how much you enjoyed the Wachowski siblings limp sequels from 2003.
If you could stomach them or actually found them good, then you’ll probably like Resurrections because it’s almost 2 and a half hours with scene on top of scene in which no story moves forward but it kinda sorta sounds like the actors are saying something really important when they’re just adding to the movie’s running time and taking away time you have left to live.
For everyone else, if you can dismiss the nostalgia for the original Matrix then you’d be better off skipping this and just go see Spider-man again for the 5th time.
Do you really want to risk Covid on such a flaccid sequel?
Well at least you’ll be at home when you fall asleep from boredom.
Resurrected, but still a flatline of a movie.
The Matrix Resurrections opens on a scene very familiar to the fans of the original Matrix…but slightly different.
We’re watching it, but so is someone named Bugs (Jessica Henwick- Underwater). She’s seen something like this before. She’s not the only one that’s noticed. A new version of Morpheus (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II- the new Candyman) has been searching for the one they call Neo.
Everyone thought Neo was dead, but new War Machine, um, Morpheus has gotten hints that Neo is somewhere still in the Matrix. But where?
It turns out that Thomas Anderson (Keanu Reeves, making you wish you were watching a John Wick movie, hell maybe even a Bill and Ted because it’s guaranteed to be better than whatever the f*ck this is) is the world’s most famous game designer.
Mr. Anderson gained his near universal acclaim by designing a game called The Matrix and its lackluster sequels.
So yeah, this is happening…
So mega-boring when all is said and done.
Mr. Anderson’s business partner Mr. Smith (Jonathan Groff) wants him to make a 4thMatrix game but Thomas doesn’t understand why he would want to do it. Thomas has been having dreams lined with lime green code from the 90s. Thomas tells his analyst (Neil Patrick Harris) about his dreams and NPH spouts off euphemisms while petting his gato.
While at a coffee shop doing the Sad Keanu meme, Thomas notices a someone (Carrie Anne-Moss) who looks a lot like the woman Trinity he designed in the Matrix games. But her name isn’t Trinity it’s Tiffany. Something totally different. Tiffany has a husband named Chad and three kids with Chad also named Chad.
Thomas and Tiffany have a meet cute right in front of Chad and the Chad-lings. Tiffany thinks there’s something familiar about Thomas. They stare at each other so long one of Tiffany’s Chad-kids run into the street and gets hit by the bus from Speed. Tiffany leaves with her family but gives Thomas the look-back.
Meanwhile, Bugs and the rest of her nameless or just utterly forgettable crew find their way back to the Matrix and Thomas.
If you remember the first Matrix (and if you don’t you’ll be re-refreshed ad nauseum), then you remember the scenes when Thomas gets told what the Matrix is and his place in it. Well, it happens again only this time less compellingly and with more scenes of talking heads.
Thomas says Neo is just a character in a game he created.
But a training scene will show Thomas just who he’s meant to be…again. So he can awaken minds from the Matrix…again.
Thomas has been missing something his entire life, and it’s only taken him 40 minutes of pointless screentime to realize it’s not something, it’s someone. Neo now has to awaken Tiffany to who she really is in order to save the world…again.
But does Tiffany want to be awakened? Or is she happy where she is?
Will you be awake by the time the 2.5 hour slog finally f*cking ends?
What Works With The Matrix Resurrections
- Carrie Anne-Moss matters more in 15 minutes of screentime in Resurrections than she did in the entire original Matrix trilogy. Moss gets the movie’s best line and has the movie’s best moment. If you’re still awake by the time this happens it’ll be easy to spot because it’s one of the few times you’re not wishing you’d rather be watching Sing 2.
- Jonathan Groff looks like he’s having fun as the newly recoded Agent Smith. I think he’s the only character that actually smiles as everyone has super serious looks on their faces. He’s the only character that provides the movie’s one true surprise.
What Doesn’t Work With The Matrix Resurrections
- Replacing Laurence Fishburne as Neo’s very helpful Magical Negro Morpheus, the charismatic Yahya Abdul-Mateen II barely registers as a character as he’s not really important to the story and is barely an afterthought in the final act. Then again, it’s probably a good thing Abdul-Mateen isn’t completely associated with a movie this mediocre.
- Director Lana Wachowski (without her sister Lily and with 2 other writers) make a 2 and a half hour movie and could have 30 minutes shorter had we not been hammered with clips from the first (and clearly best) Matrix. Then again, we’d be better off staying at home and just watch the original again.
- Exposition > Explanation of exposition > Recap of previous exposition > Clip from first Matrix > static dialogue scene between two people in a room > maybe an action sequence.
- Of the original trilogy, I found The Matrix Reloaded to be the worst of the three because it contained blocks of navel-gazing, momentum stopping dialogue punctuated by decent action, the highlight being the freeway fight. The Matrix Resurrections has no action sequences that come even close to anything from the first 3 movies as they feel like copies of copies. Because you’re hammered with callbacks, you also can’t help but recall how much better the fight scenes were done in the earlier movies.
Sometimes dead is better. Around the 50 minute mark in Resurrections when you realize than nothing has actually happened you’ll be wishing you just saw Spider-man again. Go with that instinct. The Matrix Resurrections is to The Matrix what Space Jam: A New Legacy is to Space Jam. Take the pill that makes you forget you ever saw this.