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The Life and Times of Michael Poulsen

Born in Denmark at the turn of the last century, Michael Poulsen was the only child of Viking raiders. He spent a quiet childhood in a small town in Denmark, tending the family farm (being responsible for the chickens). At 13, his father took him on his first raid, and he got a taste for travel. He went on as many of the raids as he could, and when his father decided to pillage Paris, Michael went along.

The attack on Paris lasted for three weeks, and it looked as though the Danes would not be able to over-run the city. But eventually, though a brilliant idea from Michael (involving three archers and a bowl of oats), they were able to over-take the city.

After taking over the city, the Danes took the spoils, and Michael (as a reward for his incentive and quick thinking) was put in charge of the city, becoming the youngest leader in the city’s history (at the age of 15).

During his time as leader of Paris, he commissioned the Eiffel Tower and funded its building by authorizing raids in Germany, Russia, and Rome. There was so much money left over from their raiding, after the tower was completed, he built a wall around Paris to protect it from further raids (he had gotten information that there were raiders from Norway planning on trying to invade Paris and plunder his treasure.

His advisors were certain that the wall around Paris would not be completed in time, and the Norwegians would make their way into the city without much effort. It wasn’t until Michael commissioned a dwarf and his stallion that the wall was built; it was completed days before the Norwegians (accompanied by the Swedes) made it to the city.

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Paris was defended from the attack, and the Norwegians returned home, having failed in their attempt to take the city.

Ruling over the city for another 50 years, he defended Paris from many more attacks (including those from the Danes themselves), but when he was eventually removed from power, the city was bankrupt (and both the tower and the wall that he had built had been torn down).

Eventually, after leaving Paris, he returned to Denmark and built a small home in Copenhagen. While living there, he became involved with the musical community, eventually becoming a music promoter. A year after founding his own record label, he discovered Elvis Priestly and Johnny Cash, signing them both to record deals.

Priestly and Cash became so popular that representatives of other record labels attempted to steal them away from Michael, but they both remained loyal to the man that discovered them. It wasn’t until the Norwegians discovered his location and decided they would raid the offices of his record label that the two of them left (both being signed onto Norwegian labels).

It is not known what happened to Michael after the raid onto his record label. Some people think he was killed during the attack, but there are others who swear they have spotted him. There are even those who claim that he changed his name and became the lead singer of a rock band, but those rumors have the least amount of evidence to support them (if this was what happened, more people would have recognized him for who he really is).

Whatever may have happened to him, at least we have the music to remember him by.

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