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The Land of Perfect Clothing

Do not be fooled. Just because you see only one side of anything, do not forget there is always another side to it. Between publishing hubs,

(left( The late Ken Curtis "Festus" and James Arness "Matt."

(left( The late Ken Curtis "Festus" and James Arness "Matt."

Let's See, We've Had

our share of clothing of all types of material imainable, and it seems like there is no end to the various creations of ready-to-wear fabric today. Sure, there are those who talk ugly about clothing being "off-the-rack," and rely on a sewing machine to get their clothing having that humble look, but these points are all that I claim to know about fashion and clothing.

David Letterman, my former personal favorite host of The Late Show, CBS. We had to endure the Nehru suit in the swinging 60's, and uh, oh! Guess who created this "flash in the pain" fashion choice? Our buddies from Liverpool, better known as The Beatles. And who can forget the cute mini-skirt designed and sold by Mary Quant? These are real fashion creations, my friend. They are able to change with whatever is, or was, popular some month or two ago and somehow, that idea is going strong.
Personally, I loved the mini-skirt. But not much about the granny skirt that went below a girl's ankles. And I would go as far as to have wore (and enjoyed) the nehru jacket if my parents had bought me one, but Hamilton, Ala., was not one of those fashion depots where the who's who of society and the Jet Set could fly to this rural town, pick-out their current fashion tone, throw air kisses to the limited rural press and then leave without any commotion or riot.

Ever thought about the nudists? These guys and gals had it made! They lived somewhere in the country and slept on the grass, in the woods, or a park bench if the cops were not on duty. Nudists had no worries whatsover about their clothing being popular, hem length, clashing colors and does these parachute jeans make my butt big? No wonder nudists are as free as a clam. Not us. We somehow have been saddled with that pesky responsibility of having to choose our clothing in relation to our personalities and what is allowed at our offices. We can't just barge into the office in Bermuda shorts, RayBan's, and a Thomas Magnum Hawaiian shirt. Can you spell F-I-R-E-D?

My main gripe about clothing has only one area to discuss. Have you, the TV freaks (like me) noticed just how bland most television series can be? I mean the clothing that the stars on the shows never stop to change clothing no matter what. Example: a rowdy gang of cattle drovers almost run their horses to death in search of a "cold one," a few games of Poker, a dance with the prettiest saloon girl and a nice place to bed down when the night is over.

Before, during and even after the rowdy drovers have slept their drunks off and paid their bar tab, no one, including Miss Kitty Russell, the owner of the Long Branch Saloon, bothered to change clothing. This has me puzzled. And even during the gunfights, she could have eased to her room upstairs and refreshed herself and come down with a deeper red on her gown. Not Kitty. She stuck to her guns, as it were. While I am here, why did Gunsmoke creators not allow Kitty to wear a white gown? Too much like a wedding? Probably. They had a few weddings in this saloon each year. Yeah.

Look at This Shot From Gunsmoke

starring from left, the late Ken Curtis, "Festus Hagin,"and James Arness, "Matt Dillon," the U.S. Marshall and take a good look. Then use your memory if you are a Gunsmoke fan, then you will suddenly realize that you were duped. Yes. Conned into believing that the cast of this very-popular TV western had little or no other clothing to wear besides what you see on these two stars. Shame, shame, shame, the late Jim Nabors, "Gomer Pyle," would shriek. Nabors would be another fashion stay because he was made to wear his U.S.M.C. uniform and even when he went on furlough, he had drab street clothes. One question leaps to mind: could CBS not afford these stars to wear on their hit shows? This is all I need to say.

Cast of Gilligan's Island.

Cast of Gilligan's Island.

Study The Cast of Gilligan's Island

and you will see that my point of CBS' stars not afforded a change of clothing in their shows. Take a slow look. I will confess that this hub is not solely dedicated to CBS and their wardrobe ideas for the shows that they broadcast. Maybe the non-wardrobe-changing was a coincidence. Yeah. For time's sake, we will go with that. With Gilligan's Island, I would like to point out that all of the castaways did have clothing. And ready wardrobe changes.

Not all, but only the girls and Mr. and Mrs. Howell, Dawn Wells, "Mary Ann," and Tina Louise, "Ginger." The Howell's were "Lovie," Natalie Schaefer and Jim Baccus as "Thurston Howell,III." The "Professor," Russell Johnson. "Skipper" Alan Hale, Jr., and "Gilligan," Bob Denver, these three guys were stuck "for a long,time"as their theme song said. Now and then, the castaways would put on a Broadway show with Mary Ann, Ginger, Lovie, doing songs and dancing. The guys just sat and watched--in their one suite of clothes.

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This fact about the girls and the Howells I am assuming was a secret Class Society leaving the upper class to entertain and do little and the three men to do the work. All of the work. Funny. Gilligan's Island were held in real life, would all of their clothes last that long? And how did the men get haircuts and shave?

(left) Raymond Burr, "Perry Mason," and "Paul Drake," William Hopper.

(left) Raymond Burr, "Perry Mason," and "Paul Drake," William Hopper.

Your Witness, Mr. Mason

on the CBS hit, "Perry Mason," you could bet that Mason, did the outstanding role as Perry Mason, a "top notch" defense attorney and his private eye, "Paul Drake," did the role of William Hopper. Another thing you could bet on and win was just how stylish Burr and Hopper appeared on the CBS block-buster. Of course, Barbara Hale, was Mason's secretary, "Della Street," but the guys, (sorry) were early fashion-plates in that timeframe. Neither man ever wore coveralls, overalls,or blue jeans. If they did, I didn't see it, but my point remains. Although Burr, Hopper, and Hale had exquisite clothing choices for each week's production, they were all stuck to wearing mostly, the same things each week. Just once, I would have loved to see Burr and Hopper in those tennis outfits with matching rackets ready to hit the courts. Hale just had to be there to look fine.

(left)a Craig Stevens "Peter Gunn" and Lola Albright "Edie Hart."

(left)a Craig Stevens "Peter Gunn" and Lola Albright "Edie Hart."

May I Speak a Moment About

one of my favorite solo police show: Peter Gunn? Let me start by paying homage to the writer of the show's theme, Henry Mancini, and he did one great job because any TV fan around the nation and world would easily recognize Gunn's theme song. No lyrics were needed. Just the perfect horns and that piano run of nine keys did the trick. "Peter Gunn" was Craig Stevens and his girlfriend, "Edie Hart," was Lola Albright. All that being said, Stevens always, even in deep scuffs with street tough's, always looked sharp. Stevens could have starred in those early Gillette Shaving Cream commercials who said to "Look sharp! Be sharp!" and Stevens must have had his looking good sealed in his contract. My headline reads, The Land of Perfect Clothing goes well with Stevens as well as Albright. They both looked sweet. Probably from wearing nice clothes all of the time.

P.S. Personally, I have never made the trip to The Land of Perfect Clothing.

November 16, 2020______________________________________________

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© 2020 Kenneth Avery

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