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The Five Biggest Jerks in Rock Music

Cornrows? Really? I want to like you, Axl.

Cornrows? Really? I want to like you, Axl.

Rock music--as awesome as it is-- has never distinguished itself for the intelligence, sensitivity or life skills of the people involved in its creation. Fair enough; that can be part of the appeal, I suppose. But some people in the world of rock have gone above and beyond in quite simply being f****g a-holes. Here's five of the biggest ones:

1. Axl Rose (Guns n' Roses)

Oh, Axl. So much talent, a great voice, good songwriting skills and a compelling personality. Although that personality seems to often be things other than just compelling. Rose is famous for being hard to work with, storming off the stage in the middle of a set for the smallest reasons and just basically being completely unstable and an all-around pain in the ass. And let's not forget the whole "Chinese Democracy" debacle. After Guns n' Roses broke up in the mid 1990s, Axl kept promising to put out a GnR album with the aforementioned title. It finally came out in 2008, to underwhelming sales. GnR guitarist Slash has described working in the band under Axl as "a dictatorship". It's hard to tell who hates him more at this point: his former bandmates...or Guns n' Roses fans.

2. Gene Simmons (Kiss)

Holy hell, do I hate this guy. Gene (real name Chaim Witz; Jewish enough for ya?!), is the bassist/singer for legendary...ugh..."band" Kiss. Even setting aside the fact that Kiss has always been hugely overrated and not very innovative (other than wearing clown make-up on stage), Gene takes the a-hole cake. He's not number 1 on this list because I don't order these things. But believe me, he is quite likely the greediest, most money-grubbing so-called performer in rock history. On top of being arrogant and unlikeable, this guy will do anything for a buck. Kiss comic books, shirts, toys, lunchboxes...even a goddamn coffin. If you get buried in a f*****g Kiss coffin, you definitely deserved to die a horrible death. To add insult to injury, this piece of human garbage had (has? I don't watch TV) his own reality show. Why? For God's sake, who asked for this?? Also, a substandard sex tape of him and some tasteless whore came out a few years ago, proving that besides not being able to make good music, Chaim can't f**k either.

Phil Spector. Looks normal to me!

Phil Spector. Looks normal to me!

3. Phil Spector

Undoubtedly a very talented producer, Spector is well known for his 'Wall of Sound' production technique and has worked with artists such as The Ronettes, The Beatles and The Ramones. Unfortuntately, he is also: 1. Batsh*t insane; 2. An as****e; 3. A convicted murderer. Spector allegedly once held Dee Dee Ramone at gunpoint and forced him to play a bassline again and again until he "got it right". He was also fond of waving guns around his girlfriends, until he finally killed one of them, Lana Clarkson, in 2003. And now he's in prison. During his 1989 Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame induction speech, a drunken Spector had to be literally carried off the stage by his bodyguards in the middle of a rant. So in all fairness, at least Gene Simmons hasn't killed anyone. Yet.

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4. Lars Ulrich

Lars' biggest claim to rock-star-as***le fame is his well-publicized battle against the file-sharing service Napster in 2000. But, really, that's not even the main reason he's a dick. By many, many accounts, he is arrogant, insensitive, petty and basically looks and acts like a little bitch. It seems to be very difficult to find ANYONE who likes him, regardless of what they think of his musical talent. Although, he might be easier to like if Metallica hadn't turned into a complete and utter joke in the mid-90s. Actually, I should've included ALL of Metallica in this entry. Have you seen the documentary Some Kind of Monster? Fame has turned all of these guys into major douchebags. I mean, they hired a life coach. What the hell? F**k Metallica.


5. Ted Nugent

Yes, Ted is a great guitarist. He likes to hunt. That's okay with me. He's a fanatical right-winger. Hey, this is America, people can believe what they want. But he just seems to go out of his way to rub his assholiness all over your face, whenever possible. The list is long: worshipping guns, f****g underage girls (his first wife, for example), wishing we had "Nagasakied" Iraq, threatening Obama and Hillary Clinton with bodily harm during a concert, verbally abusing anyone who disagrees with him, badmouthing Ozzy Osbourne, killing animals for no useful purpose, using racial slurs against blacks and Asians...well, I could go on and on. Ted says he never ever used drugs. I don't believe him.

Even if all this wasn't enough to make you hate him, get this: He's co-hosted a TV show with Glenn Beck. 'Nuff said.



Bill Alvarez (author) on June 20, 2014:

LOL! Music to my ears. I almost ran into traffic when I saw them get inducted into the R&R Hall of "Fame".

Lisa Roppolo from New Lenox, IL on June 20, 2014:

I'm so glad there is another person out there who thinks Kiss is totally overrated! lol

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