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Stalking Songs and Other Obsessive Love Songs

Snapshots of the evolution of environmental and work safety regulations and the reason why.

Stalking or Obsessed About Love Songs

Back in the day, love songs had a quality to them, that indicated that Love was Forever, or else...

If the feeling for one another, was not clutching, watching, hoping, strangling obsession, it was not Love.

Love was to die for.

Love meant not having to say you are Sorry ...

It was only recently that I had a flash of realization, that many of the words and meanings of love songs of the past are are quite frightening.

As my kids moved on into their twenties, they became curious as to "my old music."

On our pizza nights while we put another jig-saw puzzle together, she will insist that I give her another song from when you I was growing up!

I have talked to her about Woodstock, the Love movement, and some of the historical incidents that happened during the advent of a new age; The Age of Aquarius*.

We have listened to Joni Mitchell, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Bob Dylan and the like.

She wants to find out what we considered Love, and has insisted that I tell her about Love Songs.



"Have You Seen Her?

 "One month ago today, I was happy as a Lark..."

"Everyday, I have a seat on the same bench and watch the children play...they seem to all know my name..."

."...I keep saying, she'll be back, and again today, I lied..."

"I see her face everywhere I go, on the street, even at the picture show..."

"Why, oh why did she have to leave and go away?..."

Have You Seen Her? by The Chi-lites

Love vs Obsession It Can Be A Fine Line

Every item around can seem to join the obsessive thoughts of the love lorn

Every item around can seem to join the obsessive thoughts of the love lorn

Mowtown Brought Soul Moves to My Generation

Since Junior High School, I have always loved Motown Hits. Once a month, our school would sponsor dances for socializing the youth and pre-teens.

Since I kept a collection of old 45's that I let her play on my little record player. She has grown up with The Temptations and Sly and the Family Stone, and she loves these artists too.

Motown was very popular during my Junior High years. We danced to the Temptations, the Supreme's, Ike and Tina Turner, Smokey Robinson.

Many of the groups who had popular songs from the 1950s and 1960s were constant plays on the radio during the 1960s and 1970's.

Age Of Aquarius, Peace, Love, and Slo Jams

Peace Signs and Patchouli was how you could spot one of us hippie children from a block away.

Peace Signs and Patchouli was how you could spot one of us hippie children from a block away.

The 1960's Were a Time of Love, and Peace.

It was a time of many lovey-dovey songs, and get in the mood music I guess you would call it. expressed, undying love...or dying love whichever felt the most passionate

When you liked a boy, you were willing to do anything to win and keep his love. He was ready to race a car on a dangerous track to impress a girl.

The proof of love was life or death.

When I was young, I listened to the parts of songs that appealed to that love hunger and idealism of Love.

We do not have an Equal Rights Amendment. Women and girls were not considered equal.

Women who demand equal rights are called evil and rebellious; out to destroy the American family. Women were little more than property according to law.

If she had a suitor, she would do almost anything to get and keep him.

Since my daughter has been curious about my childhood, and the music culture that helped form me I started listening to the old songs, word for word.

As I am older and jaded on smoochy love, and in the habit of applying logical sense to complete my conclusions; I started to realize a lot of what we considered was Love, was an obsession, and the unquestioned control one person held over another was not a healthy basis for relationships. (I do not intend to destroy the perfect love song).

This does not take away what is unique between a loving couple, it just shows how before the Equal Rights Amendment made some headway, it was considered acceptable to stalk, kidnap, spank, strangle or hit your woman, Whatever it took, to keep her in line, and to secure your lover and their love for you.

One song that stayed on the top of the charts then was by Terry Jacks, "Seasons in the Sun" I am not sure what is/was going on here - is he dying or going to kill himself? (and Michelle? ). It is a Love Song! I have included the lyrics because this is a real haunting song that we were ecstatic thinking this was L-O-V-E!

Seasons In The Sun
(by Terry Jacks )

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and A B C's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.

Goodbye, my friend, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me, and I'll be there

Goodbye Papa, please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along.

Goodbye Papa its hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
Little children everywhere
When you see them, I'll be there.

Goodbye Michelle, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there


1983 - seasons - sun - meaning - lyrics - question - Canada / credited to w w w . file lodge . c o m / files / room 4 . m p 3


Terry Jacks - Seasons In The Sun

Influence on North American Society through Media

Another influence was "Love Story" starring Aly MacGraw and Ryan O'Neal -

Our thinking as Young Adults was that this was "perfect Love." Sadly, it is fraught with lies, dishonesty and a complete lack of dignity given to "Jenny" (played by Aly MacGraw) by her lover "Oliver" or the Physician. Oliver was from a rich family that rebelled against his dad to be with this lower chaste woman. They tried to have a baby to proclaim their Love (that he refused to admit to his family). After tests to find out why she isn't conceiving, the Dr. finds out "Jenny" is very ill and has a short time to live. Oliver and the Dr. decided it is best that Jenny does not know what is happening until she gets so sick, she has very little time to live.

Oliver is a spoiled brat and is not such a kind person. Jenny absolves him of all his bad behavior, by making this excuse and giving it to an entire generation; "Love means never having to say you're sorry;" Couples used this absolving mantra for decades.

At the end of the movie, after Oliver's father finds out all the suffering his poor son went through - he tries to apologize and is given the same redemptive mantra to get away with bad behavior.

It seems that a series was sparked from all of this tragedy, and John Denver co-authored the theme song, "Sunshine on My Shoulders Makes Me Happy ". These are the associations with all of this loving and dying.


Someday We'll Be Together by the Surpremes

 "You're away from me my Love, but just as sure as there are stars in the sky, someday we'll be together..."

"My love is yours, all right from the start, you, you, you possess my soul..."

"Long time ago now sweet thing, I made a big mistake, I, I, I said Good-bye...every since that day, I cry, cry, cry. I long for you..."

Umm...

The Supremes - "Someday We'll Be Together"

"It's Only Fair To Let You Know"

"I can't forget this evening or your face as you were leaving..." "I can't forget tomorrow when I think about you," "I had you here and let you go..." "It's only fair to let you know..."

"You always smile, but in your eyes, your sorrow shows..."

"I can't live, if living is without you. I can't give, I can't live anymore..."

These words are not so much romantic as frightening.

Making Love Out of Nothing At All by Air Supply

Members of the 5th Dimension; Marilyn Always Loved Billy Davis Jr

Marilyn McCoo was crazy in love with Billy Davis, Jr. (Members of the 5th Dimension). They even had their own variety show.

Although it was considered entertaining then, she was always on the chase for Bill, trying to get him to marry her. It was funny to everyone, when he would look at her sideways, and try to run.

Marilyn McCoo wrote, and sang, "Wedding Bell Blues", "Marry Me Bill" and "One Less Bell to Answer" The strength of the love of an alpha female, could win and keep her man regardless of his behavior.

*The Age of Aquarius" was written and performed by The 5th Dimension . [Marilyn McCoo won the big prize. She and Bill celebrated their 41st Anniversary, July 26, 2010].

I loved the 5th Dimension group, because my mother, listened to them, and loved the music. She would listen with such a hopeful attitude. She was a divorcee in the 1960s due to the fact her husband left her for another woman. My poor Mom was only in her 20's, was considered scum in society at the time. Very few couples divorced. Divorce, and his adultery, was considered her complete failure.

All by the woman, who could not hold onto her man. It was all her fault. She had very few rights. The judges and lawyers were 99% male, and showed no quarter, nor pity for a woman who was such a failure.

Sacrificing everything, was the way to hopefully find, and capture a mate in the 1960s and 1970s. It sounded so groovy on the radio!

"I'm Going Out of My Head"...5th Dimension

5th Dimension

Well, I think I am going out of my head...over youuuuuuu

I want you to want me, I want you so badly, I can't think of anything but You

I can't explain the tears that I've shed...over youuuuuuu

I see you each morning, but you just walk by, and don't even know that I exist.

...I must think of a way into your Heart...

Chris Montez - The More I See You

Chris Montez was so handsome, and such a cutie, that I am surprised at his not becoming more well known. It may be that he didn't have tons of material, or perhaps he caught the love of his life.

"The more I see you, the more I want you..."

"With every sigh, I become more mad about you"

"The more I see you, as years go by..."

"My arms won't free you, and my heart won't try...'

"The More I See You" by Chris Montez

Sam the Sham and the Pharohs

This song starts, with the Singer saying that Little Red Riding Hood is in danger, and he is going to walk with her to protect her...as the song progresses, we find that the "protector" is the predator.

"Hey there Little Red Riding Hood, you sure are looking good. You're everything that a big bad wolf could want. Listen to me (in grandmas voice)... LRRH I don't think little big girls should go walking in these woods alone..."

"What full lips you have, they are sure to lure someone bad..."

At the end of the song, the singer howls again, realizes it, and finishes with, 'baa, baa, baa...'.

Watch out...

Little Red Riding Hood by Sam the Sham and the Pharohs

"Take a Chance on Me" - ABBA

This group brings such positive memories regarding their litany of songs. Once more, as I begin to listen to what is really being said and done here, it is just not so positive.

"If you change your mind, if you decide to take a chance on me, I'll be around. I'm first in line."

If you need me, let me know, I'll be around...

If you put me to the test...

We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together...

You want me to leave you there, you're afraid of a love affair...

If you're afraid you may hurt me, don't worry, my love is strong...".

Sorry, this seems completely one-sided, and self-sacrificing, for someone who is obviously, "not into them"

ABBA - Take A Chance On Me

Resources Regarding Stalkers

  • Stalking Laws
  • Stalking - Wisconsin State Law Library
    Forms, guides, laws, and other information for stalking.
  • WomensLaw.org | Home
    Legal information, help and support for women, teens, and girls living with or escaping domestic violence or sexual assault (custody, divorce, restraining orders, orders of protection, immigration, military law, tribal law, kidnapping, stalking, dati
  • Stalking Case Could Expand Harassment Protections | Women's eNews
    A case linking gender violence and workplace stalking is under Supreme Court review and could determine if stalking by a non-employee qualifies as sexual harassment. Advocates say the case also highlights a lack of protection for victims.

© 2010 Lori J Latimer

Comments

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on April 04, 2013:

epigramman you just made my day big time. Thank you! This was a labor of the history or music I grew up with, and thanks for seeing that. Warm wishes back.

epigramman on April 04, 2013:

Wow my lovely Lilly I am an instant fan. What a wonderful selection of hubs and such a variety to choose from but I truly love this one because it seems like a labor of love for you in the way you personalize your life story through the beauty and art of music in our lives. In fact it's one of my favorite music hubs ever in over 2 years since I've been here - hubbravo from the epi-man and sending you warm wishes from lake erie time ontario canada 5:12am from Colin and his cats - love the music here and the effort that you put into it.

Guest on October 20, 2011:

"One way or another" was a Blondie song. I'm surprised "Every breath you take" by the Police and "Possession" by Sarah McLachlin didn't make the list.

nad on February 13, 2011:

als je mijn wil hebben je kunt zeggen je hf niet obesssie te worden or hatten nu je bent verlien mijn!: hou kan mensen zo verkomen ! overwinnen is geen oplossen !hattters ? wat ik vind liefde is gezond maar niet die depressief liefe whatever you coll it ziekman

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on January 05, 2011:

Chank0512, I didn't realize you had commented on this. Thanks for the visit.

chan0512 from Camarillo, CA on December 04, 2010:

great hubs. Love Air Supply songs. Thanks for sharing.

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on September 05, 2010:

Between confining underwear and goofy societal ideals, we have been in some kind of lock down, 2010-11 Diva Freedom

theherbivorehippi from Holly, MI on September 05, 2010:

Great hub! Gosh...I remember crying to many Air Supply songs being love sick...blah! Such wasted minutes. lol

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on September 03, 2010:

Sister Deborah! Thanks for the Pat Benetar reminder. Not even thinking a thing about it...:0) Namaste.

Deborah Demander from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on September 03, 2010:

This is such a great hub. Love your song choices, and the story of Marilyn McCoo. My favorite stalking song is by Pat Benetar, "...one way or another, I'm gonna find ya, I'm gonna getcha getch getch,... I will drive past your house, and if the lights are all out...."

Anyway, thanks for the great reminders.

Namaste.

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on September 01, 2010:

Thank you RunAbstract! Crazy gooiest eyed love! Thank you for the memories. I forgot about the 'roller rink' and how much fun we had skating and dancing to these very songs!

RunAbstract from USA on September 01, 2010:

Wow! Did this article bring back some memories! I remember dancing to so many of these songs at parties, skating to them at the local rink, and laying on my bed dreaming about some boy.

Thanks for the trip down Memory Lane, and the videos!

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on September 01, 2010:

katiem2 - LOL, "...what girls call boys who pursue them, they don't like." True, I wonder though if the reason for not liking the 'stalkers' is instinct? Thank you for making time to drop by, read and comment!

Nick B, nothing wrong with being ancient, it brings wisdom. LOL! Maybe we will see some from the 30's and 40's Hubbed about. I know there were some lulu's. Thanks for stopping by, and love your input!

Nick B from Normandy, France on September 01, 2010:

Without you is actually a Badfinger song, isn't it? My thoughts were that it was Nilsson, but looking it up, I'm wrong again :)

Some good song choices there and amazing to hear that you were listening to a lot of the same stuff I was listening to in those days - oops, showing my age here...

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on August 31, 2010:

gg.zaino, Thank you for bringing up "You Better Run for Your Life". I used to play the Rubber Soul album over and over, and belted these lyrics, not ever thinking of what it meant.

It is amazing how like-minded individuals think alike! Thank you for the votes and comment! :0)

Katie McMurray from Ohio on August 31, 2010:

This is great. There's this boy on my daughters marching band pit crew who she calls a stalker. That's what girls call boys who persue them ... if they don't like them. I love your collection and article very nice and great change of pace. Peace :)

greg g zaino from L'America- Big Pine Key, Florida on August 31, 2010:

GREAT STUFF LORI! For those who just need a beat and want to dance the message is lost and the intent lay buried. Look at the Beatles song,"You Better Run For Your Life" on the "Rubber Soul" album...

"I'd rather see you dead little girl than to be with another man-

You better keep you head little girl or I won't know where I am-

You better run for your life if you can little girl-

Hide your head in the sand little girl-

Catch you with another man -

That's the end little girl!

Well you know that I'm a wicked guy and I was born with a jealous mind-

and I can't spend my whole life trying just to make you tow the line-

Let this be a sermon I mean everything I said

Baby I'm determined that I'd rather see you Dead.....

and so on!

What kind of a message was that sending young guys back in 1966? Sounds a little like condoning domestic violence and even death to a cheating spouse or girlfriend, no?

I doubt anybody gave these lyrics a second glance, and most probably interpreted it as a sign of real intense Love... John Lennon must have cringed in later years!

I'm happy you brought this subject up Lori. Funny, but i was talking about this very thing just two nights ago- before I saw you published this hub...

Reading minds now are we? :) I voted up! great hub...

B@Peace - greg z

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on August 31, 2010:

Thank you prasetio30! It is very nice for you to come by and read this Hub. Thank you for the comment! :0)

prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on August 31, 2010:

I love music and this is the best hub from you. Some of the video are my favorite. Like: air supply, ABBA, The supreme, Marilyn McCoo also beautiful. Thanks for share with us. Vote this up. Congratulation for your 100 hub score. Keep it up my friend. Success for you.

Prasetio

Lori J Latimer (author) from Central Oregon on August 30, 2010:

Sweetsusieg - Thanks for giving this a read, I am glad it pulled up some memories and other ideas for you. Thanks for leaving a comment.

Bayoulady - Thanks for coming by. I listen to a radio station that plays oldies all the time, and I get a little freaked when I realize how I used to moon around over stalking songs. :0) Thank you for leaving a comment.

bayoulady from Northern Louisiana,USA on August 30, 2010:

Yeah, I saw that back then. It is warped.When I was teen a decade earlier in the 60s,some of the songs then were scary,too.

Girls just could NOT go on without their man. (Tammy Wynette- "Stand by Your Man"...no matter what he does,you know.) a song called Patches( a girl upset because his parents didn't like her...so she killed herself...I remember one line that went,"Patches,my darling, I'll join you tonight."

Sweetsusieg from Michigan on August 30, 2010:

Wow, what a different perspective you have!! I love it. All those songs you brought out made me think, and yep they were just as you said. By today's standards if one followed the words, one could get into deep trouble!! LOL

Tony Orlando - One of his songs were oooooohhh, Knock 3 times - all about sex.. That was tee-hee'd by many.

Today some of the songs (Love) seem to OK cheating - Hinder - Lips of an Angel...

Great Hub! What a way to think outside the box!

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