Crazy Sex Laws in America
Excerpts from The Ultimate Sex Trivia Book by Noel Rodriguez . Published by Lulu.com Other subject included in the book (Aside from US Sex Laws) are, Sex in History, World Sex Facts, Animal Sex Facts, Body Sex Facts, and World Record Sex Fact.
The US has more laws governing sexual behavior than every country in Europe combined. Here are some of the most surprising, entertaining, unbelievable and down right ridiculous laws our government has seen fit to write into law.
Although most of these laws are rarely eforced they remain active on the books and can be eforced if the local authorities were to choose to do so.
In Bakersfield,
California, anyone having intercourse with Satan must use a condom.
In Oblong,
Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or
fishing on your wedding day.
In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man
to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or
sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests,
law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Warn your hubby that after
lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of
beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.
Bozeman,
Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of
the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're
nude.
In hotels in Sioux
Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the
beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to
make love on the floor between the beds!
The owner of
every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each
guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are
married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they
are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.
An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having
sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!
A state law in Illinois mandates
that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by
their female counterparts.
In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage
in sexual activity with the lights on.
In
Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body
of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded
American male."
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur
d'Alene, Idaho.
Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window.
Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive
up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes
before getting out of his car to investigate.
A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows or exhibits depicting cross-species sex.
Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey,
should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.
In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains
to stop strangers from peeking in.
Women aren't
allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged
with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the
local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.
It is
illegal for any member of the Nevada
Legislature to conduct
official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in
session.
"Female breasts," according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don't constitute "private parts" under state law.
There is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has been.
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception—prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
In Alabama, it's against the law for a man to seduce "a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage."
It's illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.
In Mississippi, S & M is against the law. Specifically, "The depiction or description of flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or in undergarments or in a bizarre or revealing costume for the purpose of sexual gratification."
As recently as 1990, these states had laws against the use of dildos: Idaho, Utah, Arizona, Oklahoma, Minnesota, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Washington D.C.
In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
An excerpt from Kentucky state legislation: "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club."
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington, D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
In Michigan a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
In the state of Texas it is a misdemeanorif two men engage in oral and or anal sex. The same law doesn’t apply to men and women engaging in the same activity with each other.
In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.
In the state of Utah, sex with an animal—unless performed for profit—is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.
It's against the law in Beanville, Vermont, for a road map to be printed and sold or given away if it contains advertising of a "lewd or lascivious nature." The ban specifically includes ads for massage parlors and hot tubs, as both are believed to be of a "sensual bent."
An old law in Cattle Creek, Colorado bans a man or his wife from making love while bathing in any lake, river or stream. In other words, anyone who wants to fool around while bathing must do so in a tub, or not at all.
It's against the law to make love to a virgin, whatever the circumstances, anywhere in the state of Washington. According to the wording of the legislation, it's a major crime even to marry and then spend the night with a virgin bride in that state.
In Anniston, Alabama an old ordinance bans women from using promises of certain physical activities to pay off a bet on a match they are playing. Nor may they initiate sex while hanging around a pool hall.
Women who go out on the streets alone at night in Kansas City, Kansas, can be arrested under an obscure 1901 city ordinance. Any unattended females can be picked up by the police if they are "in the streets or any public place without lawful business and without giving a good accounting of themselves."
The city of Cottonwood, Arizona banned people from having sex in a vehicle with "flat wheels." If the vehicle with flat wheels is parked, and you're caught making love in the front seat, it's a $25 fine. But if you're caught playing around while in the back seat, the fine is doubled.
Connecticut still retains an old law forbidding any kind of "private sexual behavior between consenting adults." This odd law makes absolutely no distinction between married and single couples.
The Louisiana House of Representatives hurriedly approved a unique anti-streaking law. Under it, streakers can be sentenced to five years in the state penitentiary and given a $2,000 fine for streaking "while intending to arouse the desires of minors." Streaking with only the "intent of arousing sexual desire" brings a violator a $100 fine and one year in prison.
In Nebraska, buggery, or anal copulation, can bring a whopping 20 years in the penitentiary. And buggery in Pennsylvania can bring transgressors a $5,000 fine and 10 years at hard labor.
South Carolina's Code of Laws 16-412 includes "the abominable crime of buggery." A $500 fine and five years in prison are the punishment. Buggery in Maryland brings a one-to-10-year prison term. Anyone in Kansas caught engaging in this activity draws a maximum sentence of six months in jail.
Indiana and Wyoming both have laws against anyone's enticing, alluring, instigating, or helping a person under 21 to masturbate. This activity is known in legal circles as an act of "self pollution."
Michigan law prescribes five years in prison for a man who engages "in acts of gross indecency, either in public or private." This includes mutual masturbation by two men or the simple act of solitary masturbation.
New Jersey law threatens men with a three-year sentence for "mutual masturbation." The law covers anyone "who, in private, is a party to an act of lewdness or sexual indecency with another."
No one may have sex while riding in the sidecar of a motorcycle in Norfolk, Virginia, where an old ordinance outlaws anyone from doing so while cruising down a city street.
Procuring or employing an Alabama girl from 10 to 18 years old for prostitution brings a relatively mild $300 to $500 fine and six months in jail.
Prostitutes in South Dakota are still prohibited from plying their trade out of a covered wagon.
In Texas, no one other than a "registered pharmacist" may sell condoms or other kinds of contraceptives "on the streets or other public places." No, not even physicians. Anyone who tries to make a few extra bucks doing this will be severely prosecuted for the dire act of "unlawfully practicing medicine."
Kentucky and Idaho limit condom sales to medical practitioners and licensed pharmacists, but their license to sell the items may not be hung on a wall where it can be seen by customers.
Maine licenses condom sellers and the license must always be on public display.
Nevada, with 35 legal bordellos, has no condom problem. The use of condoms in Nevada brothels is compulsory.
Both Indiana and Ohio have laws that prohibit male skating instructors from having sexual relations with their female students. This misdeed, called "the seduction of female students," is prosecuted as a felony. This statute applies only to male teachers. It seems female skating instructors may have sex with male students.
Until the law was repealed in 1975, California husbands and wives could both get a 15-year penitentiary term for engaging in certain sexual practices. They were specifically prohibited from engaging in any oral activities, even in the privacy of their own bedroom.
Authorities in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, passed a special piece of legislation governing sexual activities in the toll-collection booths on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. The law, which pertains only to female toll collectors, prohibits them from engaging in sex with a truck driver in the confines of a booth.
In North Carolina, it's illegal for a manto peep through a window at a woman—yet it's not against the law for a woman to peep into a room occupied by a man. (Nor is it a violation of the law if a man peeps at another man.)
Authorities in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, passed a special piece of legislation governing sexual activities in the toll-collection booths on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. The law, which pertains only to female toll collectors, prohibits them from engaging in sex with a truck driver in the confines of a booth.
The USA also has its collection of weirdlaws about sex. In Arizona keeping more than two dildos at home is prohibited. In Colorado there is a ban on kissing a woman who sleeps. In Connecticut, town Hartford, a man is forbidden from kissing his wife on Sunday.
In Florida only the position “man on top” is legally allowed, and it is not allowed to kiss woman’s bust during sexual intercourse, in Massachusetts a woman is not allowed to have the position of “woman on top” in sex as well.
In Minnesota sex withbirds is strictly prohibited.
In Ohio women are not allowed to wear lacquered shoes because they underwear can be seen on their “mirror” surface.
In Skullbone, Tennessee, the law bans a woman from "pleasuring a man" while he is sitting behind the wheel of any moving vehicle. Any man stopped and found with the front of his pants undone can be fined a minimum of $50 and serve 30 days in jail.
In California, adultery is punishable by a $1,000 fine and/or one year in prison. In Arkansas, offenders are fined a mere $20 to $100.
Single guys and gals caught in the act of sex in Michigan can be fined as much as $5,000, and they could be sentenced to as many as five years in prison. Single adults in Texas who are apprehended while having sex are charged with a misdemeanor and given a $500 fine.
Branchville, South Carolina, retains an old piece of legalese covering those who "lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed, and cohabit together, in a public or non-public place." The amorous couple can be punished with a $500 fine and as much as a six-month prison term.
Rhode Island prohibits unmarried people from partaking of bedroom activities under any circumstances. However, if caught, the lovers are both fined $10.
Unmarried adults in Arizona who decide to fool around a little are committing a serious felony. Anyone single, man or woman, caught having sex can be sent to the penitentiary for three full years.
South Dakota threatens a 10-year prison term for "copulation by means of mouth." Utah has made this same act a misdemeanor. There, oral sex brings a six-month jail term and a $299 fine. Rhode Island labels it an "'abominable, detestable crime against nature," and such activity brings a seven-to-10-year stretch in the penitentiary. It is outlawed in New Mexico where participation is punishable by a $5,000 fine and a two-to-10-year sentence. Florida chastises with a 20-year prison sentence those who take part in this act.
Go to Kansas if you really must do business with a hooker. It's only one month in jail and a $500 fine for anyone who gets caught. Better yet, visit Nevada, where prostitution is legal. A man can be incarcerated for from one-to-10 years in an Arizona or Washington, D.C., prison for causing his wife to be a prostitute. A man can also get 10 years in Arkansas and 20 years in Maine and Michigan for placing "his spouse in a brothel." In Missouri, it's a "high misdemeanor" for a fellow to "force" his wife to sell sexual services on the streets.
Don't import an Asian woman and make her a prostitute in California. If you're caught, you could get a year in prison and a $500 fine.
Buckfield, Maine, has a rather unusual law regarding cab drivers and sex. The legislation declares that no taxi driver "will be allowed" to charge a fare to any passenger who gives him sexual favors" in return for a ride home from a nightclub or other "establishment which serves alcoholic beverages," or any "place of business" selling liquor.
Carlsbad, New Mexico, retains a law making it illegal under certain conditions for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work. The car or van must have tightly drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking inside while the activity is taking place.
It’s illegal to have sex without a condom in Nevada.
More Americans lose their virginity in June than in any other month.
Wyoming’s Grand Tetons mountain range literally means “Big Tits”.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
The first condoms in the US were made from vulcanized rubber in the 1870s. They were expensive and annoyingly thick and meant to be reused.
In Fairbanks, Alaska it’s illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.
In Florida is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
In Newcastle, Wyoming, an ordinance specifically bans couples from having sex while standing in a store’s walk-in meat freezer.
Oral sex is illegal in Arizona, Florida, Minnesota, Louisiana, parts of Michigan, North and South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia. In Idaho it can get you life in prison.
Premarital sex was illegal in Connecticut until the late 1960s. The age of consent in the US is primarily between 16 and 18. However, in liberal Hawaii, 14-year-olds are allowed to have sex as adults.
A 15-year old girl in Mississippi canmarry without parental consent, but must wait a year to legally have sex with her husband.
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
The only acceptable sexual position in WashingtonD.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
Texas law makes it illegal for a woman to own more than six sex toys.
Comments
Kamrin on July 06, 2012:
All i gotta say is WOW
FedererJr. on June 22, 2012:
Lmao, I live in Kingsville, and I had no idea!!!!
FedererJr. on June 22, 2012:
Lmao, I live in Kingsville, and I had no idea!!!!
JayD on March 30, 2012:
It boggles the mind to consider what activity could prompt a ban on sex with porcupines. Or that it could be prevalent enough to require the legislature's attention.
newbiegeek on May 12, 2011:
if we could just find a way to write one piece of federal legislation that could effectively repeal all these dumb state laws and impose one simple set of sex laws people would then at least not break the law without knowing it. hmm, the way some of these are written how is that kids are ever born. you must have leave the state.
mikanatsumi from New York on March 04, 2011:
Hilarious!! :)) I can't stop laughing!
dusy7969 from San Diego, California on February 13, 2011:
Hilarious. I can't help envisioning what happened to spark the creation of each of these laws. I am sure that would be even funnier than this. The meat locker freezer story hast to be interesting. I'm also wondering who is issued the ticket if there is no permit in Ventura County.
renard on July 11, 2010:
i cant rember what state. But it was told to me that a state has a common law marriage. If a male was found in a room with a female with there shoes off then there married. What state has this?
Noel Rodriguez (author) from New York on November 06, 2009:
very funny! Thanks for your comments.
carolina muscle from Charlotte, North Carolina on November 06, 2009:
LOL! In my state of North Carolina, a law still on the books states that if a couple checks into a hotel as man and wife, they're automatically married by common law.
