7 ½ Horror Movies With the Word 'The' in the Title That You've Probably Already Seen

My Cat Persephone Wrote this Review on her Smartphone. It was better than Mine. .

Whenever you click onto one of these lists, I assume, dear Viewer (that’s you and the person looking over your shoulder to read this. You think you’re alone in your room, on your laptop, but you’d be wrong) that you’re looking for movies that you’ve never seen before, something you can rent from your local Blockbuster and watch late into the night before you have to get up and return those small and totally wieldy tapes into the handy-dandy slot before the late fees kick in. But make sure you rewind those tapes, because a friend of mine, and by friend, I mean my nephew, let’s call him Mortimer, was killed because he forgot to rewind.

Oh, where was I?

Movies you’ve never seen before.

This, ________ (insert your name here) is not that type of list.

If you haven’t seen all the films on this list at least twice already, then you will be put on a list, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the IRS will come a-knockin’ at your door to, well, let’s just say it will be painful to both you, your family, and a random smattering of your neighbors.

Without further ado, onto the list...

I was wrong. There’s some more ado. I lost my good sunglasses when I was here last Thursday. If you see them, just let me know. They belonged to my nephew Mortimer.

This brilliant horror-comedy begs for a sequel. It’s also one of the few movies on this list whose ‘The’ is separated by a colon. My insides are separated by a colon, but Behind the Mask is a lot funnier.

Fun Fact- The movie was originally called Lost Boys, but Corey Feldman found the missing ‘The’. Corey Haim accidentally ate it, but Corey Feldman found it again in ways that I can’t reveal to you here because it’s just too disturbing as it also involved colons.

Fun Fact- The first Conjuring movie (called The Conjuring) does not have a ‘The’ in the title.

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I know, you’re like ‘WHAT!!! This movie does not have a ‘THE’ in the title. I want my money back!’.

Fun fact- the movie was going to be called Henry A Flattering Picture of the Serial Killer but Henry killed the ‘The’. Now you feel bad for wanting your money back.

Not technically a ‘The’ but it does have a ‘T’, an ‘h’ and an ‘e’. So…maybe?

Not technically a “The” but it does have---

Wait. It feels like I’ve done this before.

I can’t really talk about this movie because it disturbs me too much. But I’ll just share it with you because you’re my close personal friend. That scene where the killer makes the girl pee in her pants made me pee in my pants when I saw it in the theater. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

The classic movie that launched the careers of Jamie Lee Curtis and Johnny Lee Carpenter. I can’t tell you how much I love this movie, from the opening tracking shot kill to the ----

Wait! This movie doesn’t have a ‘The’ in the title. Why the eff didn’t somebody tell me before I posted this? That’s on you, people!

Fun Fact- The 2013 remake is simply called Evil Dead because they couldn’t spell ‘The’. Sample spellings: ‘hte’, ‘guava’, ‘thoe’ (so close that time). Original Dead director Sam Raimi tried to help but he couldn't without using his phone.

The only one of the 17 Final Destination movies to have ‘The’ in the title because the producers could only afford the rights once.

I can’t really talk about this movie because it disturbs me too much. But I’ll share it with you because you’re my close personal friend. That scene where Woo pees on the Dude’s rug made me pee my pants when I saw it in the theater. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Two words- Demon Rape. Fun fact- this is one of Martin Scorsese’s favorite horror movies. I think it’s because he was raped by a demon on the set of Taxi Driver while Robert De Niro and Albert Brooks just watched.

This movie is so great, Kurt Russell actually invented the word ‘The’ and added it to the English language. He originally spelled it ‘te’, but director Johhn Carpenter took off one of the h’s from this first name and made it spell the traditional “the”. Taking off the ‘h’ took about 2 hours of surgery, but John Carpenter eventually survived but can’t remember ever making Ghosts of Mars.

This Swedish vampire movie does something different by putting the “The” as the second word in the title. Those kooky foreigners. What the “The” were they thinking? #America

M. Night Shyamalan’s found footage movie is the only one on this list with a rapping white kid that you just want to smack.

S...m...h.

So that’s it. The definitive list of horror movies with ‘The’ in the title. You need not look anywhere else. But if you happen to trip and fall into anymore, let me know. Like and subscribe to my YouTube page.

I don’t have a YouTube page.

© 2019 Noel Penaflor

Comments

Jennifer Jorgenson on June 05, 2019:

I made sure it had 'the' in it.

Noel Penaflor (author) from California on June 05, 2019:

Thank you, and excellent title.

Jennifer Jorgenson on June 05, 2019:

Literal lol's with this list. Oh and my favorite horror movie with 'the' in the title is - The Joy Luck Club.