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15 Funny Ways to Answer the Phone

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There’s nothing more annoying that an unwanted phone call from a telemarketer, am I correct? Turn that minor inconvenience into a barrel of monkeys and have fun with it instead!

Funny Ways to Answer the Phone

Not only is this a way to get your number scrubbed from the telemarketer’s call list, but it’s also a fun way to mess with the people you do know and love such as family and close friends.

First things first, you want to be sure that the number calling you is not one of a professional place such as a prospective employer or the like. In other words, if you are in the process of applying for jobs or colleges, it might be best to hold off on the humor.

What’s that? You already know that you can mess with the caller and not get burned? Well then, let’s move on, shall we?

Here’s a few tips for funny ways to answer the phone:

  • Use foreign accents: If you don’t want to sound like, well, you, then try on a few accents! Find one that you can master and use it. Use it hard. Some words can get humorously confused for other accents, for example: If you say the words ‘beer can’ with a British accent, it can sound like you’re saying ‘bacon” with a Jamaican one, and vice versa.
  • Use a voice changer: If you really want some good options for funny ways to answer the phone, invest in a good voice changer! One that can change your voice into many different kinds. Then you won’t have to try to do it yourself!
  • Use extreme emotions: Throughout the entire conversation, maintain one, single, yet extreme emotion whether it be happiness, anger, etc, no matter what the call is about, and no matter the content of the conversation itself.
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Make Them Regret Calling!

  • With voice box in a Darth Vader tone: Your father’s residence, your father speaking…
  • Roadside Grill! You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em!
  • Bob’s busy booze, beer, n’ bbq bar, can I help you?
  • Yell into the phone everything you want to say starting with “hello” and make them yell too by saying “what?” “I can’t hear you!” “Can you please just speak louder?” Confuse them by periodically talking in a completely normal level, and then bring it back up again.
  • Play loud sound effects in the background that make it sound like you are driving aggressively and finish it off with a big crash and hang up.
  • Get extremely irate with cursing at the person, but bleep out your own curse words by pushing a button on the phone.
  • We all know what poor cell phone reception sounds like, very choppy conversation prior to the call dropping, so even if your reception is great, and even on landlines, pretend to be saying sentences but leave out many syllables of some of the words and strings of words. This takes a lot of practice!
  • Marty’s Marriage Cemetary, where you be wed, then you be dead!
  • In your best robo voice: Purple Nurple Titty Bar: Press 1 for Barbara, Press 2 for you mom.
  • Sing some funny and random song lyrics then hang up, such as “Too legit, too legit to quit!” “Don’t speak, I know just what you’re saying, so please stop explaining, don’t tell me ‘cause it hurts!”
  • Copycat: Literally just repeat every single thing the caller says until they hang up. Don’t ever be the first to hang up with this method.
  • Answer as the place calling: If you have a number that calls all the time, call it back and try either record their answering robot or take not on how a rep answers the phone. When they call again, play the recording of their own company or answer like they do for the ultimate confusion!
  • Play that recording that you get if you dial your own landline number: “You have dialed a party on your own line…”
  • Answer as seductively as possible and maintain this tone throughout the conversation. Periodically play a robo recording that says “Charges are being billed to your next telephone statement. Your current charges are to $20 for this call, if you would like to add three more minutes, press 1 to accept further charges, or disconnect now.” This will make them think they are paying for the call.
  • Answer the phone with a mouthful of food, and only speak with you have more food in your mouth.

With this list of funny ways to answer the phone, you will never dread a call ever again!

The Emperor's Phone Call

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