Return to Horror High- 1987
In 1982, the town of Crippen was gripped in the hands of a serial killer and taking out their revenge on the students of Crippen High. Now a few years later, Cosmic Pictures has come to town to film a movie based on the murders, but someone has some unfinished business.
Director Josh Forbes (Scott Jacoby) is trying to make a movie about people, not body parts, but producer Harry Sleerik (Alex Rocco) doesn't care about that. He wants more nudity and blood and to save a few bucks along the way.
But, during filming, cast and crew start disappearing and before long, their body parts are laying outside the school while Chief Deyner (Pepper Martin) and overzealous Officer Tyler (Maureen McCormick) try to match up what's under the blood-soaked sheets.
Writer Arthur Lyman (Richard Brestoff) tells them what happened during filming.
When Officer Steven Blake (Brendan Hughes) arrives on set during filming, the actor thinks it's Oliver (George Clooney) and continues on with the scene until Josh calls "Cut!" and then he realizes that Steven is the technical advisor to the film.
At this time, Oliver gets a phone call from his agent and when he comes back, he tells Josh and Harry that he's leaving since he was booked on a television series and has to be on location the next day.
Since Oliver was portraying Steven, they offer the role to him, and he protests since he's not an actor.
Throughout the movie, the focus shifts from the making of the movie to "real time" and lead actress Callie Cassidy (Lori Lethin) begins to find herself attracted to Steven. She's not too excited about working on the movie since she's playing three different parts and as Harry says, "it's just changing wigs."
I've always enjoyed this movie since it's one of the first comedy, horror movies (plus I like the behind the scenes of making a movie) and there are a few twists and turns in it.
It's also fun to see McCormick shed the Brady image as she's trying to be a sexpot while getting bloodier throughout the movie.
On the downside though, it does drag and it's not very scary, but it is a lot of fun and a sequel was set up for it, but never happened.
Return of the Killer Tomatoes- 1988
If I were Clooney, this would be one movie that I'd be embarrassed by.
Don't get me wrong, but since I achieved my lifelong career goal of being an extra in movies, I've worked on some really embarrassing movies and I also worked with him on The Ides of March. And yes, he's a very genuine type of person that likes to have fun on set.
Enough about me since this is about him.
A decade went by and then this mess happened upon us. It truly is a mess and not funny at all.
It's been a while since the great tomato war happened and tomatoes are outlawed, so there's sauce for pizzas or spaghetti, but in the lab of Professor Gangreen (John Astin) he's using tomatoes to advance his diabolical scheme of taking over the world. He's already created Tara (Karen M. Waldron) the perfect woman from a tomato and because she's perfect, Chad Finletter (Anthony Starke) has a massive crush on her.
Chad works at his Uncle Wilbur's (Rock Peace) pizza parlor along with his best friend Matt. They both know the story behind Wilbur's hatred of tomatoes and when there's a news story about tomato smuggling, Wilbur tells the story again.
Since both boys are looking for love, Matt tries his hand by doing a Date Rob Lowe contest, where he's set up a table and the girls of San Diego are lined up hoping to win a date with the Brat Packer. Only Matt (and now Chad) knows it's a scam so that Matt can sleep with as many women as possible.
One night following the creation of a mutant tomato, Tara rescues it from the trash and names it FT. She takes the mutant and winds up at the pizzeria and asks Chad to have sex with her. He's stunned, but the next morning when Matt comes home to the apartment, he finds Tara in the shower.
Chad thinks he dreamt the encounter and that's when things get stupid.
After the introduction of FVI (Federal Vegetable Investigator) Sam Smith (Frank Davis) is introduced, the movie is interrupted because the funds have run out and George suggests product placement. Then we're introduced to a lot of products.
With funding secured, Chad takes Tara out to dinner and while he uses the restroom, a violinist (John Streano) stops by the table and plays the bad song, Puberty Love from the original movie. Tara turns into a tomato and the restaurant empties out with sheer terror.
However, since Professor Gangreen has sent out his good looking assistant Igor (Steve Lundquist) to follow Tara (while driving around in a garbage truck and wanting to be a news reporter) he gets more caught up in the press interviewing one of the patrons.
Anyway, FT falls from Chad's window and begins a journey on his own and he catches Tara eating a fertilizer stick. He freaks out and Tara is kidnapped by Igor.
Matt and Chad go looking for her and stop off at a market where he thinks she's some produce up for sale.
Chad tells Wilbur about Professor Gangreen's plans and they all go to the Oliver North Prison where they battle shirtless muscle-bound tomatoes turned men and Tara becomes a human.
This was the first time that I've seen the movie and it'll be the last time I watch it. I'm sure it could have been funnier, but, it just isn't.
Grizzly II: The Concert- 2020
This is just a click bait movie based upon the stars due to the history behind this sequel (and the amount of time it took for it to be released).
As the movie begins, we're treated to three friends hiking in the woods, Ron, Tina (Laura Dern) and Lance (Charlie Sheen) on their way to a big concert. The problem is they won't make it to the concert.
After hiking (and really, Tina wearing platform shoes?) they decide to camp out for the night and after being introduced to Eileen Draygon (Louise Fletcher) the mastermind behind the concert, Tina and Ron are mauled to death by a huge grizzly who witnessed her cub being shot by a poacher.
Lance comes back to the campsite and sees the mutilated bodies and the grizzly chases him to his demise.
That's it for the click bait, but there's still a movie, somewhat worth watching.
Once the bodies are found, Ranger Nick (Steve Inwood) tries to get Eileen to shut down the concert, but she's looking at dollar signs and won't listen to him. He's also concerned because there's not enough security guards for the concert.
His daughter Chrissy (Deborah Foreman) has gotten a gofer job with one of the acts and she's slept with the star, Barry (Nigel Dolman) who tells her that she was just a joke and game to him. Being the professional that she is, she continues on with doing her duties.
While Nick teams up with Samantha Owens (Deborah Raffin) the director of bear management, the two also team up with Bouchard (John Rhys-Davies) a "bear whisperer." He has the ability to know what the grizzly is thinking.
As the trio try to find the grizzly, they're also looking for the poachers and eventually come across them as they met their Fate with the angered bear.
With time running out, Draygon's concert continues as multiple acts take the stage and with the grizzly right outside the temporary venue, Bouchard meets his Fate while giving Nick the opportunity to kill her.
In itself, the movie is pretty good, but due to the lack of it taking nearly forty years to finally be released, it's just click bait for the two Oscar winners.
However, due to space (and my much too long review of the middle movie) I thought I'd attach a link to Weird. Movies With Mark, since he pretty much sums up the movie.
And "live" at that!