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Disaster Porn Saturday Night: The Day the Sky Exploded

John (Paul Hubschmid) and Mary (Fiorella Mari) take shelter during the asteroid storm

John (Paul Hubschmid) and Mary (Fiorella Mari) take shelter during the asteroid storm

Thankfully the voices in my head helped me get through this real disaster of a movie. And I mean, it's a disaster.

The first manned moon flight is scheduled to leave Cape Shark in the Australian desert and it's like a lottery for three astronauts since they don't know who's going into space. Luckily for American John McLaren (Paul Hubschmid) he's the chosen one and will be leaving the planet within an hour and a half.

His wife, Mary (Fiorella Mari) is overactingly worried that her bread and butter's about to circle the moon. She has a lot of "what if?" questions, but John has to go and tells her not to worry. He does have to get suited up.

John's launched into outer space with no problem and while looking and talking like a hypnotic space zombie, Mary is brought into the control room where she takes the space age Zoom call. As in most early sci-fi movies, she plays the Captain Obvious cards until transmission is lost. Those in the room tell her not to worry since he'll be back in forty-five minutes.

As predicted, he's back in forty-five minutes, however, there's mechanical problems and he manages to get the cabin free from the atomic booster. While no one on the ground can figure out where he'll land, the booster collides into the Delta asteroid cluster.

Mathematician Katy Dandridge (Madeline Fischer) manages to figure out where John will land, plus she's mad at fellow co-worker Peter Leduq (Darrio Michaelis) because a) he made a verbally suggestive pass at her and b) she overheard him on the intercom betting the lab assistant (Annie Berval) that he could kiss her within six days.

With feet firmly on Earth's soil, Mary's packing up to head home since John essentially messed up the space program, but he gets an eleventh-hour call telling him about boosters and explosion. Now he has to go back to the base and do some explaining, because after all, he's responsible for the nuclear space junk.

The next morning, Mary's still packing the same suitcase when John comes home. He tells her that they have to stay and she's not having it. She's going back to America with their son, Dennis (Massimo Zeppieri)- who really has some bad dubbing going on.

As the asteroid cluster is heading toward Earth, horndog Peter turns on some romantic music for he and Dandridge, while they look out the window at the full moon. They kiss (no, make that a 1958 version of making out) and now that he's all hot and bothered, she slaps him and tells him that she heard everything over the intercom.

With the asteroids dislodged from their orbit, Earth becomes their intended target, and the scientists warn of tidal waves, earthquakes, wind and firestorms. Of course, people panic (thankfully with the use of stock footage- and if you do watch this movie, be sure to watch for the lady who falls flat on her face. I couldn't stop laughing) and head toward the underground shelter.

John learns that Mary and Dennis have left the country but is relieved when he finds them at the base. In yet another overacting moment, she couldn't leave him behind and then it's announced that all civilians on the base have to report to the shelter.

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Chaos erupts and she and Dennis stand in a corner, while a group of people have a fire.

Dandridge cracks under the pressure since she seems to be the only one in the world doing calculations while Peter sends out coordinates to different countries regarding the position of the asteroids.

Like being hit with a lightning bolt, John comes up with the idea to nuke the asteroids, since the moon couldn't shield them, and the cluster looks like a giant chocolate turtle covering the moon.

The ground. temperature rises and thankfully through stock footage, the planet is burning, and firemen are out combatting them. Plus, there's wind and rain and the chance of a hurricane.

As everyone watches the radar closely for signs of the asteroid cluster, it starts to blink in the center of the screen and then moves about. This is one tricky cluster, and no one's shot off any weapons. John can't stand the suspense and goes to look for Mary and Dennis (listen closely to someone constantly shouting, "My baby! My baby!" no matter where the actors are in the scene). After finding them, they have to dodge patches of fire as they race back to the base.

When the word is given, the countries set off their missiles and destroy the cluster.

Dennis runs off into the sunrise with Geiger the dog and rest assured everyone can get some sleep since John saved the world, but do Peter and Katy go out?

For the most part, this movie is really bad, and I didn't care about anyone, probably because the dubbing is so bad and most of the movie relies heavily on stock footage.

However, there is a pretty good miniature scene with a boat and a tidal wave, but that's about the only thing worthwhile about the movie.




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