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Disaster Porn Saturday Night: Skybound

Lisa (Scarlett Byrne) tends to Kyle (Gavin Stenhouse) following the emergency that she was forced to perform

Lisa (Scarlett Byrne) tends to Kyle (Gavin Stenhouse) following the emergency that she was forced to perform

Just for fun, let's say that this movie had potential.

On December 27, third year medical student (who I think lives in Toronto) Lisa is on a first date with Matt Parker (Rick Cosnett) as he drives furiously in The Hamptons.

While he's smiling, she tells him that she had hoped that the two could go out someday but doesn't think it'll work since the car he's driving cost way more than her parents' house. So, he comes from money, but they're headed to his parents' country house for the next three days, along with some friends.

As he zips along, she gets a call from her father (Jerry Coyle) and wants to know if maybe she left some money at the house. He's making the pharmacy delivery guy (Lars Walther) wait and she asks to talk to him.

Lisa reminds him of a certain video tape, and he drops off the prescription with no problem.

Stunned by the conversation, Matt hopes he's never on the receiving end of her wrath and he quickly confesses that his parents don't have a country house, but a beach house in Malibu and that's where they're heading!

They pass through the private gates at the airport where they're met by Odin (Tyler Fayose) and Roxy (Carla Pimentel) and Matt tells them that he had to get his pilot's license after he turned eighteen for trips like this. He tells them that they have one more person to wait for.

And that last person is Kyle (Gavin Stenhouse) Matt's brother, who just landed after flying the parents to Paris.

Lisa is uncomfortable since the two had dated, but Kyle ended it since he thought she only wanted to go out with him because of his wad of cash and trust funds. She tells him that wasn't true, but here she is, dating his brother.

As the plane takes off, Roxy and Odin decide to join the mile high club and while flying over New York City, Matt decides to let Lisa fly the plane.

Over Washington, D.C., the power goes out and they discover that they have a stowaway on board, Erik Harris (Morten Suurballe). Roxy thinks that she's seen him someplace, but can't put her finger on where she knows him from.

Just outside Chicago, a passenger jet flies over them (the collision avoidance system is out) and they see a bunch of planes nearly running into one another. There is a midair collision though.

For most of the flight, Matt seems to join everyone in the cabin as the plane just seems to fly by itself, even though no one has said that it's on autopilot.

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With no cell or television reception (plus they can't contact anyone on the ground) they think that maybe they should turn around and head back to Chicago, but Erik pulls out a gun and shoots Kyle.

Don't worry- he's fine and goes back to flying the plane. In the next scene though, he has an infection from the bullet and Matt makes an executive decision to land the plane in Kansas City.

"They have a hospital," he tells the passengers.

But Lisa knows that Kyle's fever is rising (as well as the temperature outside the plane) so everyone tells her that she must perform emergency surgery on him. She tells them that she's not a surgeon but goes ahead anyway. With no anesthesia and having to cauterize the incision, he tolerates it well.

While no one knows what's happing on the ground, Matt distributes two days' worth of newspapers and Roxy notices Erik's picture in the paper. He was the leader of a doomsday sect, but after Odin points Erik's gun at him, he tells them that they can't land and he was only their leader to bilk his followers out of their money.

Erik claims that he doesn't know what's happening on the ground and tells them after his watch beeps that he needs insulin. Lisa verifies that it's a medical watch, but it's too late for him since Odin flushes it down the toilet.

After a brief image on the television of bells ringing, Roxy asks if Christmas is over (duh, it's December 27) and they think that Erik did something to the air onboard.

Kyle (who can now run around the plane with no blood on his T-shirt) pilots the plane as they refresh the air by opening up the door.

Lisa's phone rings and her dad tells her what's going on (because it didn't affect Canada) but just to be cautious, he's leaving in the morning to head north.

Since they can't land the plane, they find out that Roxy is a mathematical genius and based on mileage and fuel, she can tell them where they can land.

During the movie, there aren't any disaster scenes to speak of, just the plane collision and I'm still scratching my head, because at some point, I think Matt should have known that Kyle and Lisa were dating, but who knows?

The two do get into a fight over her and Matt does a "powerful" monologue in which I said, "huh?"

Also, if you're a fan of the original A Nightmare on Elm Street, and wondered how Nancy could booby trap her house in like ten minutes, you'll be surprised at what these kids can do on a plane.


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