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Disaster Porn Saturday Night: Ice Quake

The Webster family (Cody the dog, Ryan Grantham, Jodelle Ferland, Holly Elissa and Brendan Fehr) do some holiday shopping while searching for a Christmas tree

The Webster family (Cody the dog, Ryan Grantham, Jodelle Ferland, Holly Elissa and Brendan Fehr) do some holiday shopping while searching for a Christmas tree

If Hallmark were to produce a holiday disaster movie, this would be the template for all of their future disaster movies.

It's Christmas Eve Day and there's some rumbling going on up on Mt. Phaeton which causes a fissure to open and the deaths of Reed and Wallace (Lane Edwards and Kurt Max Runte, respectfully).

At the base of the mountain, the town is getting ready for the rush of last minute holiday shopping when they feel the effects of the tremor, but over at the Webster household, dad Michael (Brendan Fehr) becomes concerned about the quake and quickly hops onto his computer to get more information just as Colonel Bill Hughes (Victor Garber) calls him to tell him that Reed and Wallace are missing.

With Michael having to go to work, this angers his wife, Emily (Holly Elissa) since they still need a Christmas tree. He does run to the base and promises that he'll be about an hour and then they can go get a tree.

Co. Hughes brings him up to speed and satisfied, he picks up the family and they go shopping, but since they can't find a tree, he suggests that they go into the wilderness and chop down their own.

Daughter Tia (Jodelle Ferland) isn't having it, but son Shane (Ryan Grantham) is looking forward to an adventure. Plus, Yeti (Cody the dog) can romp around in the snow.

Once at the outpost shack, Michael is confused since he spots an SUV in the parking lot, but figures that the missing Reed and Wallace are probably inside, but the shack is locked and they hear some rumbling.

After flailing around in the snow, some snow geysers open and they hear louder rumbling as Michael spots an avalanche heading their way. They manage to outrun the avalanche and Yeti disappears, but, there's another round of rumbling and the parents and children are separated when a large crack divides them.

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Michael tells the children to go one way and he and Emily will be going another way and they'll meet up near the top of the mountain.

As if things weren't bad enough for the Webster's, Col. Hughes now has to deal with an oncoming snowstorm (with gale force winds) and with six people missing, he has to sent someone up to rescue them, while trying to keep people off of the mountain.

During their hike, Shane and Tia come across the body of one of the missing men and Shane takes the radio.

The elder Webster's run into Professor Bruce Worthington (Rob LaBelle) and think that they're out of the woods when they hear a helicopter approaching, but, thanks to those snow geysers, Worthington is injured and once the helicopter begins rescue operations, it crashes.

Reunited, the Shane shows Michael the radio and a signal is sent to the base, but due to the storm and the weak battery, they build half a wall for safety and huddle together and a few minutes later, they're rescued!

Once all of the data is analyzed, Col. Hughes has another big problem: a cloud of methane gas is headed toward the Alaskan oil fields and they need to stop it before there's a big explosion, plus they need to get Emily, Tia and Shane back to safety since the methane is seeping into the building.

The main reason this would be a Hallmark disaster movie is this family is so close, they keep kissing each other for no apparent reason. It's kind of creepy.

For the most part, this is an okay disaster flick, but the best part is whenever there's a tremor, the actors and extras all look like they're having seizures due to the overacting (even during a slight tremor).

But do the Webster's manage to get a tree? That's the question.


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