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Disaster Porn Saturday Night: Apocalypse Pompeii

Tour guide Gianni (Constatine Trendafilda) is impressed with Mykaela's (Georgina Beedle) knowledge of volcanos and Pompeii as mother Lynne (Jhey Castles) beams proudly

Tour guide Gianni (Constatine Trendafilda) is impressed with Mykaela's (Georgina Beedle) knowledge of volcanos and Pompeii as mother Lynne (Jhey Castles) beams proudly

If you're looking to recruit people to join you in watching disaster movies, this isn't the best one to get started on. Tempt them slowly before you bring on the comedy.

I made the mistake of inviting one of my friends over on a Saturday night (to watch disaster porn) and I hadn't seen this movie. We had no idea what to expect and since this was his first time, I think this was the second feature of the night.

Anyway, the Pierce family is spending a week in Italy, where dad Jeff (Adrian Paul) is being interviewed for a security position for an international company. Basically, he's going to head up operations and it's a pretty done deal and the interview is just to get to know the executives.

Meanwhile, mom Lynne (Jhey Castles) and daughter Mykaela (Georgina Beedle) are taking a day trip to Pompeii. Before they board the bus, Mykaela reads a story in the paper about an eruption which causes her concern. Of course this eruption is thousands of miles away.

As Jeff is saying his goodbyes, a tremor hits which causes the tourists to stop in their footsteps. Concerned, Jeff tries to persuade them to stay behind but the girls want to go anyway, so he gives them special phones just in case there's any problems.

He goes to his interview and while waiting, notices his briefcase rocking on the floor (the secretary doesn't seem to notice the tremor) and he calls the girls. They tell him that they're fine but he insists that he's coming to get them and will reschedule his interview. Again, they tell him not to worry.

Mykaela senses something isn't right and begins to ask tour guide Gianni (Constatine Trendafilda) all the right questions about safety and she tells him that they must get to a safe place immediately, because she's sensing an eruption.

This teen knows her stuff and everyone follows her to some safe ruins just as Mount Vesuvius flips its lid (at this point some of the tourists disappear, but yet pop up a little later).

During the interview, Jeff races out of the office building (while everyone else seems unconcerned) and his intent now is to get to his family. He gets stopped on a side street and the cop won't let him through (while people are casually going about their business in the background) and even draws his gun.

Jeff isn't having it and takes off again.

Back at the ruins, Mykaela paces back and forth trying to read what's going to happen next. She tells everyone that they need to take off some clothes and drench them in water, since a heat surge is on its way. They have to line the crack at the bottom of the floor with the clothes and four of the tourists think she's crazy and leave.

Well, the joke was on them as the surge arrives and they explode outside the tour bus, while it stays intact.

Jeff has all of these demands when I think he's at the embassy and the guy he's talking to casually packs up the office, so, he gets in touch with one of his friends, Col. Carlo Dillard (John Rhys- Davies) and he manages to get his other special ops friends together.

The surviving tourists look to Mykaela for answers and she leads them to the Pompeii Museum just in time as a mudslide crashes into the building, surprisingly not causing any damage.

Jeff and his team manage to steal a helicopter (pay close attention here since he's piloting it and within seconds of landing, he's not flying anymore and then flies it again) and make it to the museum just in time for the sulphuric acid to arrive, along with the sixty feet of lava.

Before the dramatic conclusion, we get a taste of some real bad disaster porn dialogue.

There are many times that you'll be scratching your head and this movie does feature a retired porn star, so it really is Disaster Porn!

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