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Dance Tips for Non-Dancers Just Before the Big Party

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This hub is for all those men (and teenager kids) who have no clue about dancing but sometimes situation demands them to be in a dance party for example, prom or a cousin's wedding. The nearer the date approaches, the faster the pulse blips. Even I fell in the same category but thanks to some great friends, I now know how to handle such situations. I don't claim to be a great dancer but I can manage just fine without making a fool of myself.

Nobody likes to make a fool of himself, so I thought I would play the good guy and come up with a 5 minute tutorial for those who have a date for such parties. For those who don't have a date, they don't need this tutorial. They can rock the way they want and have fun - no pressure at all.

I have gone a bit further and apart from writing about tricks I learnt myself or through these friends, I have also browsed through some related pages on web. Here are some thoughts and quick tips for non-dancers caught in such a situation. These tricks can be used for a wedding dance party, a disc, a social do or a business party. The only difference would be the distance between the guy and girl.

In fact, after I finished writing this hub, I realized that it is most useful for the kids going for prom and being 17, are self conscious and nervous like hell. So, all the moms out here can also take help of this hub if their little one comes asking for help just before the prom night.

First some pep talk to boost your confidence and make you comfortable

1. First of all, be assured that if you have a date, she likes you for what you are. You don't have to be a great dancer to impress her.

2. No need to be disturbed and perturbed because of this shortcomings. Be man enough and let your date know in advance that you can't dance. Who knows, you may actually earn brownie points for this dance-challenged status of yours.

3. If your date is close to you, she will try everything to teach you some hot steps before the party. When I was dating my current partner, she said that she actually found it very 'cute' (whatever that was supposed to mean). May be, because she found another area where she could control my 'moves', but that is my story. If she teaches you, you are a winner - whether you learn her moves or not is just insignificant if you know what I mean :-)

4. Most men are not great dancers, so you are in an elite company. Most of the men look dumb, out of place and morons kicking in walls. Point is, you do not have to be conscious about your moves and how you are looking like on the floor. 90% chances are that you are being as obnoxious as the man in the next couple on the floor, so you don't really loose anything. This is the biggest confidence pill I can give you.

Now the actual stuff: how to play around

There can be two forms of dancing - slow and fast.

Slow dancing:

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Personally, I find it easier and believe I can pass out fine if it is a slow songs night. It is the simplest two steps bit. Just a little swaying around the music and you are aces. Here are a few things you can do with slow dancing

1. Just put your hand on your date's waist, grab her right hand with yours and do two small steps back and forth. Always remember one thing. Girls want you to stare at them, so instead of watching others' reaction, you are supposed to gaze in her eyes.

2. Put your hands on her hips and she in your neck or on your shoulders, then just sway side to side, moving slightly and gracefully, barely lifting your foot. Pretend you are completely in love by constantly gazing in her eyes. Yours will look the best pair if you can get that lovey-dovey love feeling in your eyes.

3. Turn in a very slow circle. If you gently and slowly rotate around, it will give you both something to look at while the song is playing. It also makes it look like you are dancing, instead of rocking back and forth.

Fast dancing:

In a fast song-dance routine, not even 5% men know what they are doing on the dance floor. And more than 95% girls know this fact. As long as you're not flailing your arms and legs too much and not kicking others, you should come out fine. If they are playing fast songs, you can do a few things -

1. Listen to the music and feel the beat. Do a bit of chair dancing. Sway your body while you are relaxing and the moment you hear a song you like, hit the floor

2. Let the girl take the lead and you just follow her. If it is getting complicated, tell her to slow down. She will oblige (no girl would ever want her pair to look out of place).

3. Someone commented on a webpage that simply swaying your body around the beat is dance. This is correct and becomes more relevant when your partner has gone to the ladies room and you are on the dance floor. Try a simple routine in this case.

  • Feet together
  • Step with your right foot out to the right and back (around 25% of a full stretch)
  • Same with the left
  • Repeat (in any direction you want)

You can do the same bit with your partner as well (specially in a setting where the two are not close enough)

4. Don't make your upper body and arm stiff. Let them loose and sway gently with the music. You don't really have to move them, just let them sway naturally. Loose self consciousness and this will happen automatically

Now some practical advice: these are actual tips I can give from my life

1. If you still have some time, PLEASE find a friend, or a sibling or even one of your parents - whoever you are most comfortable with. And then have some practice - even half an hour or an hour for 3-4 days will make you well prepared. It actually helped me. I did practice with my partner's girl friend and boy was she jealous :-)

2. Don't try too hard. It shows and you become a laughingstock.

3. Take frequent breaks to relax and soak in the environment. This is the time when you can have a quick look at other couples and pick up some of their simplest moves.

4. Take time out to get both of you relaxed while dancing. Make a witty remark or unexpected move. If you are not having a very intense and intimate time, talk to her while dancing - creates a lot of comfort (Thanks to a good comment on Yahoo)

5. Be quick to imitate. There would be a lot of men who would have devised their own emergency plans. Imitating them is a smart thing.

If you are still not confident on the big day, don't concentrate on dancing. Instead try to behave a nice guy and have a good time anyway. Let her know that you are not comfortable with dancing and she can dance with other friends of her. Keep joining them for 5-10 minutes on a song which you know and can at least lip sync on an imaginary microphone. This way you can make your presence felt. Your date will understand and your friends will applaud. THIS HAPPENED WITH ME AND SHOULD ALSO WORK WITH YOU.


jessicca olner on November 19, 2008:

hiya imm 11 lmao aha

quensday from New York on June 24, 2008:

I don't know where to post this so sure! That ^ was personal experience #1 :D

quensday from New York on June 23, 2008:

Hi Stooge ;) May I add one more advice? Make sure you drink a lot in front of people to blame the incompetence on the intoxication. I love this one! :D

Stooge (author) on June 03, 2008:

Annette Rozen, thanks for leaving your words of wisdom here. Surely destressing is the key to a lovely evening. Cheers !

Stooge (author) on June 03, 2008:

Aeman.. so sorry. I was not accessing internet last few days (was on vacation). I missed HP and probably a large part of missing HP was you :)

Well, I did not know you were so possessive for me. Alright, I declare, I am only yours :)

Ann Martin on June 02, 2008:

I liked all your confidence tips prior to the real tips. I truly think destressing and not feeling self-concious about yourself is half the battle. Once your not embarassed the moves tend to just flow freely.

Aeman A from New York on May 31, 2008:

Hi stooge, it's seems like days that we haven't talked but today I'm alittle free so wanted to see more of what you wrote. Thanks for covering saying that I'm not a flirt, I guess you have come to know me very well. But as ChristineKV said that I don't want to share you at all, maybe she's right, maybe I don't.LOL.

Keep in touch, I missed you!

Stooge (author) on May 29, 2008:

Ha ha ha ... Christine, Aeman is not a flirt - she is a very good friend and we were just playing with each other out there - pure healthy fun.

I am sure there are many who are similar to our classic Romeo at heart and in approach. I agree that getting a lady gaze back in your eyes is definitely a thumbs up. Conquest or not - you can be rest assured that you are gonna have a great time that evening - and probably post evening as well :) If the girl is not someone you are intimate to, that will be the first step towards it. I like it slow - romance is better than sex - well, at least most of the time it is :)

christinekv on May 29, 2008:

Yeah Stooge, I'm sure you just ate that up, having those ladies say they wanted to dance w/ you - seems like Aeman A really wants to be first and not share your affections or attention w/ another! What a flirt!

I hear what you are saying in regards to dancing being scintillating and sexy and God knows I've got and practiced some sexy moves myself but there are areas of this country (USA) anyway where things have become really over the top and chaperones do nothing to stop it - moves that should be saved for the bedroom.

Oh, forgot to comment last time that I liked what you said about gazing into a woman's eyes....when you can get a woman to gaze back the same way on the dance floor, I'd say unless she's a good actress, a man can at that point be confident that he's captured her interest. I don't say this in hoping anyone will see it as 'conquest' but in hopes there still are some classy Romeo's out there.

Stooge (author) on May 29, 2008:

Christine, thanks for your comment. Genuine, relational and pure are some compliments I will treasure for long. I think this is my best hub so far because it has made people smile, get nostalgic and helped them connect with their inner child/dancer. Not to mention a couple of darling ladies who said they are going to show this hub to their husbands and another couple of sweethearts who unconditionally got ready to have a dance with me :)

Agree that dancing these days is not what old timers are used to. Portraying sexual moves has always been a part of dancing, but it can be done gracefully. Getting a little bit suggestive is not a bad thing, but if someone is making it too obvious, god bless him/her.

christinekv on May 29, 2008:

Well done Stooge, as well as timely; hopefully some high school students will see it and take it to heart (the way some of them dance these days - portraying sexual moves and positions on the dance floor! It's mind blowing our society has come to this).

This is pure.

Personally, I like Magenas enjoy a couple glasses of wine to relax prior to feeling up for getting on the dance floor, and of course I have to like the music.

Nice hub - it made me smile. Thanks for being so relational and genuine.

Stooge (author) on May 29, 2008:

SweetiePie, you were probably lucky that he had other things at hand, otherwise it could have been an awkward situation with him being all alone and sulking:)

Maegnas, I admit downing a couple of glasses helps, just did not want to give the idea to hubbers, lest they accuse me of promoting alcohlism :)

J_Eds, that is the best comment I have got so far for any of my hubs. If you really show this hub to your hubby, I guess objective of writing this hub is fulfilled. Many thanks and obviusly you won me over as a fan :)

J_Eds from Blackpool on May 29, 2008:

i am going to show this to my hubby to be so he knows what he is doing on our bi day!!

Maegnas on May 28, 2008:

Great job!The things you said are really obvious when you read them but in reallity you've never tought about it in this perspective.And Sweetie Pie,yes it's great for having a non-dancer type partner but i can't really say that for myself because my girlfriend is a dancer,so i'm really screwed...I'm usually a good dabncer but normally i'm as stiff as a rock,so whenever we go out with the intention to dance i usually have a few drinks to get the blood pumping and lossen up a bit.Then you can put Stooge's tips on how not to make a fool of yourself.Again-great work,man.

SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on May 27, 2008:

It was a wedding reception and he was walking around helping arrange everything because he was the groom's best friend. So I danced with one person and then only talked to a few people there. It was a wedding where I did not know anyone really.

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Thanks Sweetie. By the way, how did your ex kill the time when you were dancing and he was not? At the bar?

SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on May 27, 2008:

There are some great tips on this hub and yes it is okay if your dancing partner is not as keen as you about dancing. My ex-boyfriend hated dancing so I never forced him to do it, although I do like to dance sometimes. Good hub with informative tips.

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

I would love to dance with Pizza with you watching and getting jealous :-)

Have fun sleeping.

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

I'll think I'll pass out now. I am sooooooooooooooo swamped!

See you tommorrow! Sweet dreams

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

Believe me, you're ganna want her to sleep!

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

When Pizza is not sleeping ;-)

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

Sounds fun! So when are you landing over here?

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Ohh .. had some personal work. A couple of friends from India had just landed, so went to catch up with them. So, nothing special.

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

I wonder why you started late?

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

I have telekinetic powers .. I can come and go anywhere in a moment. Anyway, I started late so have to make it up - I have flexible timings these days so can come at whatever time I wish to :)

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

It's okay, but how can you be in the office so late? You work too much, how are you ganna make it here and have a dance with me if you keep working like that?

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Aww.. dont stress yourself too much. You never know I can come down for a dance anytime ;-)

Glad you called me a stress buster.. I see a great second career ahead of me ... just finished work. Now hubbing :) Don't have messenger ...still in office ... the same problem (and that trick doesn't work on office network) :-(

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

Well today I'm stressed out and pizza is sleeping right now! This hub is kind of a stress relief pill especially after talking to you. Not much! How was your day today?

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Ohh.. you will not leave any stone unturned. I don't really know.. may be Lissie will have a place in mind :)

What's up anyway? How was work? Wassup with Pizza?

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

At least not in public? Where are you actually planning to dance with her?

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

You are a real sweetheart. Ok you won me over. I wont dance with Lissie (at least not in public) :-D

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

You know I'm not, I don't have to be. I can find someone else to dance with if you don't need me as a partner!

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Comeone Aeman.. don't be jealous .. lol :-D

Aeman A from New York on May 27, 2008:

Hey, I asked you first!!

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Lissie, Perth is not a problem. For a dance partner like you, I can go to the South Pole :)

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Svetosalv, you should have put up a request back then :-) Anyway, I hope you are putting up your dance lessons to good use.

Elisabeth Sowerbutts from New Zealand on May 27, 2008:

Sure Stooge - when are you going to be in Perth, Western Australia :-)

svetoslav on May 27, 2008:

Good one! Actually, if I had seen it half a year ago, I probably would have skipped one month of dance lessons. ;)

Stooge (author) on May 27, 2008:

Lissie. I will join the dance class only if you agree to be my partner (with permission of your husband of course) :-D

Elisabeth Sowerbutts from New Zealand on May 27, 2008:

Dare: you to dance class! It has several advantages for boys not only a) you learn to dance but b) you meet lots of gorgeous girls who won't date u unless u can dance :-) But then Im biased!

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

Wow.. that is something. I am off to the dance floor :)

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

I will like to dance with you someday? So keep practising!!!

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

So would be you.. how does that matter? Should I read between lines?:-P

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

you're ganna be much older then.......!

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

Not at least for 10 years

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

ha ha, just keep hoping that we don't meet.

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

wow.. if your disappointment frightened me so much, your anger will kill me for sure :-)

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

Since when did you see me angry? You heard me getting dissapointed but never angry so how can you be sure how I look when I'm angry?

Yeah you do need a lawyer, that's for sure! You're not ganna be able to handle me yourself!

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

Even though it was me who wrote a hub on how to win arguments, I am most afraid of you. Agreed that you don't need a lawyer, but I need one, at least in front of u :)

By the way, you are not all cute when you are angry. You are frightening, to say the least :-P

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

Well, as I said on one of your hubs that I was born to win in an argument that is ofcourse, I guess I'm not ganna need a lawyer after all. Don't take this matter to court, fight face to face or hub to hub, whatever. You are even more cute when you're angry!

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr !! Do you know any good lawyer?

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

Okay I'll stop before you really sue me!! Being sued for calling you cutie sounds cute though.

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

ha ha ha try to! Cutie!

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

You call me cutie and I am gonna sue you :)

Aeman A from New York on May 26, 2008:

I really love this hub, I think this is one of my favorite hubs that you have written so far. Thanks for the tips so people like you can get some points on the dance floor. Doesn't matter how you dance really, if you're looking into her eyes and making her feel important, nomatter whos ganna laugh at you, she will be there for you and she'll make you feel that your the best dancer. But being good in dance doesn't hurt either. Cutie!

Stooge (author) on May 26, 2008:

Aeman, it is ok. I called you a friend, so you can still call me anything :) Dariel, Glad you liked the hub. Keep visiting

dariel on May 26, 2008:

wow nice dance...

Aeman A from New York on May 25, 2008:

oh and I appologize for calling you a cutie too!!

aeman on May 25, 2008:

Nice hub!

Stooge (author) on May 24, 2008:

Cheryl.. thanks a ton. Well, I really do not like someone calling me or any of my things CUTE. But guess, I will make an exception for you, as you already clarified :-)

Looking forward to pick up some nasty fights with you (since I spared you on this one) :-)

CherylAnne Nelson from New York on May 24, 2008:


Very original topic. Cute hub. Don't be insulted that I called you cute though... I meant cute in a burly, manly man way.--Cheryl

Stooge (author) on May 24, 2008:

That is good to know travelgirl. Remember one of my practical advice, if there is some time on hand, the best thing is to have some practice. Who better then you to train him? :)

Stooge (author) on May 24, 2008:

Thanks solar.. glad u liked it. The good ones come from one's own suffering. I really suffered a lot on this account. Hope that is reflecting in my writing :-)

solarshingles from london on May 24, 2008:

A good one Stooge!

I especially like these your words: 'Most men are not great dancers, so you are in an elite company. Most of the men look dumb, out of place and morons kicking in walls'

It is true

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