My Cat Persephone Wrote this Review on her Smartphone. It was better than Mine. .
Oh Good, it’s been a whole 20 minutes since Black Panther stopped its theatrical run and now we’re super-duper-psyched about the 3rd Marvel Super-Duper-Team-Up Avengers: Infinity War because…why?
Well, because it’s got all our favorite Marvel Superheroes all in one movie!!!
(You mean just like the previous 2 Avengers movies?)
(Wow. But does it still have Useless Hawkeye?)
(spoiler) Um, no.
BTW- if reading this spoiler about Hawkeye actually upset you in any way, I feel bad for you.
Not having useless Hawkeye makes Avengers: Infinity War the best Avengers movie released this month.
Truth be told, I can’t really get all worked up over any Marvel movie any more since, after 10 years and 18 movies, you just know that Marvel really isn’t going to deviate from the formula. And, after the end credits roll for Infinity Way you realize that the formula has still been adhered to, even if there’s a little more at stake. The Marvel movies write themselves, and so do reviews of Marvel movies
Marvel has set their universe up so that even when you think something with genuine consequences happen, it’s always with a qualifier (See: Every Marvel Movie).
There really isn’t much of a plot to Infinity War (not that you care), but it’s just the same plot strand 5 separate times.
Infinity War opens right after Thor: Ragnarok ended, with Thanos’ (Josh Brolin) ship taking over the remains of Asgard. Thor is miffed. Thanos (Josh Brolin, looking like that guy in Fat Albert wearing a ski mask) doesn’t care and gets the Tesseract. Some characters you know die. Since this is Marvel, I’m going to assume they’ll come back in the next movie like nothing ever happened.
Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is chucked into space.
Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) is space-bridge’d back to Earth.
As has been set up since the first Avengers, Thanos is after 6 Infinity Stones to fit in his handy dandy glove (sorry - gauntlet, sorry -Gauntlet with a capital ‘G’) so he can control the universe…or something like that. There’s the Soul Stone, the Mind Stone, the White Privilege Stone, the 5th Amendment Stone, The Not Getting Shot by the Cops Stone (No, Black Panther you can’t have it), and the Emma Stone.
The entire movie is Thanos going after the remaining stones with various combinations of superheroes (Iron Man and Doctor Strange!!! Thor and Rocket!!! Iron Man’s Flying Black Sidekick with Captain America’s Flying Black Sidekick!!!) trying to stop him.
Sure, there’s some attempts at character development--- Wait, this is an Avengers movie. No there aren’t, but boy the movie sure is shiny and loud.
What Works in the Most Review-Proof Movie of 2018
- With 5,857 characters and only 2.5 hours, it’s hard for one individual character to stand out, but that’s what Thor does as Chris Hemsworth is given one of the film’s few quiet moments (a rumination on the people he’s lost) and he makes the most of it. Thor’s appearances on screen feel central to the movie as he’s the only character not named Thanos that holds the screen, as opposed to practically everyone else who’s thrown into the movie for no real reason. Looking at you, Winter Soldier and Scarlet Johannsson.
- (Spoiler) The Final 20 minutes- It only took 10 years and almost 20 movies, but finally someone kind of important dies in a Marvel movie. But since this is Marvel…
- I was wrong. Besides Thor, Zoe Saldana’s Gamora actually gets a character arc since she has a direct connection to Thanos. I know, what is the point of writing about character arc in an Avengers movie?
- No small feat, but directors Anthony and Joe Russo make the 2.5 hours fly by. You’re never bored because there’s always something blowing up or somebody making a wisecrack, just like every Marvel movie. By the end of the movie, it feels complete even knowing there’s another movie coming out.
- Did a very famous actor make a cameo appearance just so he could be big for once?
What Doesn’t Work With Infinity War
- (Spoilerish) Despite Josh Brolin’s considerable presence and forehead as Thanos, Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is still Marvel’s best villain. Not that that’s saying anything at all. It seems almost criminal how, um, underused he is. Considering how lightweight 90% of Marvel’s villains are, why is Loki made out to be such a little bitch in this movie?
- Because of the ensemble nature of the project, you know and accept not every one of your favorite heroes are going dominate the screen for any length of time, but at least you could give Black Panther something to do besides…nothing. Why the eff is the Vin Diesel tree more central to the story?
- (Spoilerish, but I really won’t spoil anything specific) The Final 20 minutes- Back to this. I realize that because Marvel is so vanilla that anything resembling actual consequences is treated with shock and awe. Yes, people die, but no one that really matters except _____ _____. Or to paraphrase Scarlet Witch in Civil War, “You’re pulling your punches.”
By the time this review is posted, Avengers: Infinity War will have grossed over $9,000. That’s a lot of money as Infinity represents the best and the worst of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It wants to be a Game Changer, but it feels more like a very entertaining game tweaker.
Stay to the end Credits as Robert Downey Jr. recites all the roles he could have taken had he not played Iron Man every 2 weeks for the past 10 years.
Buy Infinity War Here!
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.
© 2019 Noel Penaflor
Noel Penaflor (author) from California on June 17, 2019:
No, i meant $9000, as it's not entirely inaccurate
Sam Shepards from Europe on June 17, 2019:
Infinity War grossed over $9,000, but I guess you meant to write another number there?
I agree or have the same feelings about not being able to get worked up for the movies. It's over a month and still need to watch 3 or 4 movies of the MCU. Cap Marvel, Endgame, Ant-Man & The Wasp. Will be watching all of those from the comfort of my home when I find the time.