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Apprentice To A Star

Alysia has written Road Signs Shifting Gears Between Two world, and another book Soul Retrievals

A Ship Is Safe In The Harbor. But That's Not What Ships Are Built For


Sleeping Off My Drunk

My singing buddies viewed me from across the distance. There were unconscious urges going on here the couple would not realize, but I saw them clearly. There is no recrimination towards my friends in this dream vision; my conclusions and philosophy about life, and wealth, or lack of financial wealth are totally just belonging to me. The couple looked my way across the dance floor with wonder. Perhaps wondering I suppose who I was. Specifically who I was to them. To self, I was just another drunken karaoke singer.

I was to eventually realize I was just an apprentice to the star. The star was brilliant, and they would soon see him in this dream. I was then only vaguely aware I was exposing my subconscious to my friends. Maybe they had asked to be shown. By and large the experience was for my benefit mostly. My public articles revealed clues to who the star was. The only possible reason these friends could be inside my dream is that they were to discover who my star was, the one I followed in rapt attention. I thought idly, perhaps knowing this secret love of mine, would explain to them why I was so distant, as it must have appeared to them.

The male side of the couple had astrally tried to climb in my bed. I had been invited to sleep it off in their motor home rather than driving home in my condition. I had accepted the offer. Likely he didn't realize what his astral body was up to for the simple reason that society doesn't generally accept we even have an astral body. I knew, because on many occasions I had left my physical body and used the astral body to get around in. Bodies, whether physical, or energetically, house the ego, or the soul or even a combination of the mind, body and soul. There are many mansions in the heavens; any of which we could belong to. It happens this way more than you would suspect, that there can be you, as you know yourself to be in everyday consciousness, then there is this subconscious you. In this other area you cannot imagine yourself as this other person who does things you would never do in your usual frame of mind.

I had reacted instinctively to push him away while yelling this was not right. Every married man I've encountered in life I have sent back to their wives. End of subject. That was not the reason they were in my life. The lady had confided in me something that is very common in long term relationships. That of the sexual spark disappearing at some point, and the guy is the one most upset by this very real problem. She had been abused as a child by a tyrannical father. As I went along in life, I would see this over and over. Welcome to planet earth I would think but not say. After all the time gone by she still had not processed the crimes of her father and I appreciated she was confiding a deep and personal, painful secret with someone she felt safe with.

Sometime in the early of morn, I slipped out their door, thinking I will not do this again. I did admire the guy; he had not much to say, but when he sang it was like hearing an angel with a giant back up band behind him. The real reason I made friends with this couple was I was about to write a book about successful marriages, whatever the heck successful meant. This book as it were, would never come to fruition as I realized how little I knew about what success in love meant.


Friends & Lovers

I would later make love in the astral world with the star I followed in the physical world. The word sex is a misnomer, a type of catch-all word. The act was more like a soul to soul merge than anything that can be detailed within a physical act of sexual expression. I recall when it was over I knew I had to leave and was trying to extricate myself from his energy field with the greatest of difficulty. It was like we had become this rubbery stuff melted into each other and the more I pulled away, the greater the resistance factor had become until I felt like a rubber band pulling away from him. I kind of slithered my way out, as the definitions of my body formed once again from the separation. Maybe we had become like a can of soup and now it was opened and spilled out onto the surface of the universal sky. Maybe we were rain and thunder, and now maybe a flower would grow on the earth, something to help the earth be more beautiful than it was now. All I knew at the moment was that something monumental had just happened and I wasn’t going to be able to write it down or share it with anyone on earth, and likely, not even to the star guy if I met up with him in physical circumstance.

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The Power Of Music In Our Souls

Sex on earth is a perk. It can be casual, or even thrilling. But this merge was not a casual encounter, and I don’t know where thrilling went in my vocabulary. As one aged in the earth plane, finding a thrill was a bit like seeking a needle in a haystack. Finding romance was even a smaller needle. Not gonna happen. What happened with me was an expression of gratitude for what he had given to me, and that is such a mild way to put it, I feel like I’m only scratching the surface here.

In some part of my being I was hoping the act would be a healing one. Like healing the separation that A Course In Miracles talked about. According to this remarkable material, all of us on earth believe we have separated from God, and in this separation belief God does not see the things we do or does not care what we do. Some say the belief in God is just a belief in and of itself. I have a belief in Good to happen, even if God is unseen and not believed in. The word God is similar to the word good. If you get my drift there.

If we heal the separation, we start to realize that love is God, and is the basis for our very being, and that all else is ideas we have gathered that generate a type of dystopia of love, often enough a perversion or distortion of unconditional love. Unconditional love is what God is and what his creations are. God's creations is what we are. To try and share the experience just one more time in words, I remember handing over the whole of myself in a soul way. It was as if I had started out with, here you go, I was born one day and then this happened, and next that happened until he had all of the decades of what I had become in one fell swoop of energy.

Maybe after this a new song would be created? I felt this was true. And for me I would spend years writing about our meetings, unable to forget and almost unwillingly I would write words no one would read. I knew I could never divulge this star’s name or it might affect his life in an adverse fashion somehow. Yet the clues would leak out as his music was deeply personal to me and I couldn’t communicate with the public without talking about specific pieces of his music. Indeed, to say more is to cheapen the experience with words that are twice removed from reality.


Acts Of Love That Heal The Separation

Back to the dream vista. The couple were in the shadows watching me with wonder, while I sat on the floor near a door that went somewhere I knew not. Here the star strode purposefully forth. He walked very fast. He seemed mildly perturbed but really he was usually perturbed about something, so it didn’t seem strange to me. He was in that moment reminding me of a cartoon character called Pigpen who went about with a whirlwind at his feet collecting dirt as he spun along. He went through the door to nowhere and I shifted my body to follow him, trying to grab unto his energy as he went through and he seemed to expect me to do just that. He was rescuing me from the distractions of my karaoke haunt by his appearance. In earth plane terms, this club was my only place to express music, but there were many distractions going on as well.

I didn’t think I really needed rescuing. The whole of the karaoke adventure was a mere distraction to my real purpose on earth. Perhaps I communicated to my star somewhere in the dream adventures that I thought it was dangerous to engage in sexual activities while following a spiritual goal of expressing only the higher thoughts within the musical domain. The problem with being a celibate here, was that earth was a very sexual planet and not engaging in it made you stand out as “not one of them.” Early on I had been exposed to the idea that women slept their way to the top here, almost as if sex were one of the dues you were expected to pay. I had decided not to do that. I wanted sex to be as sacred as love was to me. I would never succeed in making sex sacred, but I learned to live with my failures over time.


If Love Finds You Worthy, It Will Find You

Many years would pass by until I understood what karaoke was. It was being on the ground floor of music. You were a raw, unhoned piece of music seeking always your perfect note. If the star you studied under appeared in your dreams, you were dam lucky. During your life you thought you were in love. You were not in love; you had become the apprentice to a star, thats all it was. But somehow, it was enough, that it happened. Perhaps it was enough because he had stooped down, and managed to show you that he considered you worthy of visiting. I know how that sounds; how I could be seen as self effacing to an extreme.

Maybe I was that. But that was before I met him in the astral. There’s always a before and an after in life. He removed the self effacing aspect of myself just by showing up. He was annoying, obnoxious, arrogant even bullish.

All the traits I tried not to be, he was. And he was still loved, just as he was. He showed me I was his opposite. He had gone into the dark and seen the face of evil. He could not forget and the time of forgiving had not yet arrived.

I think maybe, just for a moment of some bittersweet dream, I made him forget the evil by whispering thank you for all you’ve done and now just do a bit of coasting, get out of high gear. It’s what it is, and it’s OK. I will speak for you when we get home if you want that. But I really think this star will find his voice in the afterlife, just as he found it here on the earth plane.

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