My Cat Persephone Wrote this Review on her Smartphone. It was better than Mine. .
That movie starring Bradley Cooper with Emma Stone as a Chinese person: Really believable.
That movie starring Bradley Cooper as a raccoon with Vin Diesel as a tree: Very profitable.
This movie starring Bradley Cooper with Lady Gaga as a up-coming-pop star: Really believable and hopefully very profitable.
As you know A Star is Born 2018 is the 54th remake of the same basic story. The most recent being in 1976 with Barbra Streisand and a lot of sideburns. Judging by the audience I saw ASIB ’18 with, they were all teenagers when the first one came out in 1756 and they just wanted to see an updated version before they all die.
If you’ve seen any of the previous iterations of ASIB, nothing really deviates from the formula other than the clothing and of course, the music. Know that coming in, and you’ll be just fine. Don’t expect anything new under the Meat Dress, just marvel at the high-wattage chemistry between Cooper and Gaga and then remember that the Marvel movies have the same basic plot as well.
Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper, Will Fetters
Tell me something girl
Are you happy in this modern world
A Star is Born opens with a star on his way down.
Country/Rock Star Jackson Maine (Bradley Cooper) likes to drink.
Like, A lot.
Like, Brett Kavanaugh amounts.
After a show he drinks until there’s no more booze in his vehicle. He’ll be stuck in traffic for couple of hours so he decides to go to a bar (SEE: That part where I wrote he likes to drink a lot).
It just happens to be a drag bar and it just so happens that a non-drag performer and restaurant worker Ally (Lady Gaga, stretching herself by playing a singer- such range) performs “La Vie En Rose” and because of A Simple Favor I am hearing a lot of French music lately. Oui!
Jackson is immediately taken with Ally and they Meet Cute after her performance. They go to another bar because Jack’s liver hasn’t been through enough tonight. Ally reveals she likes to write music and drops some bars for him.
Jack cannot contain his erection, musically speaking.
Just in case Jack’s drinking isn’t enough, he’s also addicted to pills and is suffering the initial stages of tinnitus. Also, he was in the Hangover Part 2 and Hangover Part 3.
Ally writes a song while she and Jack are hanging out in a drug store parking lot. She thinks nothing of it.
Jack drops Ally at home and tells her she’s invited to a show he’s doing later than night. Only problem is that she has to work at the restaurant that night and the show is in another state.
Because she stayed out so late with Jack the previous night she gets scolded for being late for work. She quits her job, and flies first class to Jack’s show.
And in a shocking twist that you’ve seen in every single trailer, Jack makes Ally go up on stage and perform the song she wrote in the parking lot the night before.
I don’t know if you know this, but Lady Gaga is an actual singer and it’s so shocking that she crushes the song in a stadium full of people.
Now Ally and Jack are together, and with Jack’s drinking/drug addiction/being in the Hangover sequels/loss of hearing, and the audience’s general knowledge of musical biopics, there is nothing that could possibly go wrong…or is there?!!
This is Better Than Both Hangover Sequels.
What works with A Star is Born Version 4.0
- The previously mentioned scene when Ally Gets On Stage For The First Time is a genuine movie moment and it doesn’t hurt that “Shallow” is a pretty catchy song. A Star is Born really isn’t a movie you think about, it’s a movie you feel and if you’re not swept away by Ally’s first concert performance, then you’re not going to enjoy the remaining hour and 40 minutes of the movie.
- The movie’s best and quietest performance goes to former shock comedian Andrew Dice Clay as Ally dad because a) He’s old enough to play Lady Gaga’s dad b) he’s nothing like the Dice character from the 90s and relatively restrained work. That really is some range.
- Bradley Cooper’s hair does better work in ASIB than any of Cooper’s actual work in Burnt or Aloha or Serena.
- Bradley Cooper the director makes a 2 hour and 15-minute movie brisk and more than watchable by mixing music and melodrama in equal parts that’s easy to digest. If Lady Gaga isn’t a genuine movie star after this, it isn’t Cooper’s fault as he makes her look and sound as good as anyone in 2018.
What Doesn't Work With A Star is Born
- The movie does take a few false steps, and none more egregious than a scene at the “Grammys”. It’s wince-inducing because it feels (and is) so highly improbable
- Comedian Dave Chappelle cast as a Magical Negro dispensing wisdom to Jack and the audience. I’m genuinely surprised he’s not dressed up as a janitor.
Better than Venom, if you can believe it. Come for the music, stay for the Gaga as A Star is Born is one of the top 15-20 movies of the year. Bradley Cooper’s hair commands you to.