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4 Horror Movies in Which Judy Greer Plays the Best Friend but Also a Regular Friend!

Hey you. I wrote this Review Just for You because I like you.I also like pizza.

Judy Greer always has her head in the game.

Judy Greer always has her head in the game.

Since the art form of the moving picture began, all leading men, women, and children have needed a best friend. Someone to confide in. Someone to give them sage advice or to tell them they’re going on the wrong path.

Since the beginning of film, Judy Greer (Good Boy, and writer of the book I Don’t Know What You Know Me From: My Life as A Co-Star) has been that friend. To you. To me. To everyone.

Someone to confide in.

Someone to love him/her/them for her/them/him. But also to give them severe advice when needed. Always with a generous helping of love.

Kind of. But Judy Greer doesn’t only cater to white people, though that’s usually the case in her movies. When she’s done dispensing her advice a Judy Greer character doesn’t disappear from the movie like a Magical Negro would. She stays until the end credits, usually looking in deep approval or clapping her hands for a job well done because few people know what kind of journey the main character has been through. Judy Greer does.

Does it matter she’s played a Karen in Jurassic World and Halloween? She may be a Karen, but she’s not one of those terrible ones you just want to ax in an elevator.

In no other genre is her friendship more needed than the horror genre. Where a kind or harsh word might be all that separates the main character from life or a gruesome death. Who better to say, “Watch out, b*tch!”, or “You should watch out for that killer after it gets dark”, or “Watch out for murderers along Bongee Street”, or “You know that new boyfriend of yours? He’s a murderer because I saw him on the news and he murdered 14 people in an orphanage including kids and a kindly administrator on her birthday.”

No. Judy Greer is super white

See...

See...

Not only is she white, but her friendship is also white, as in pure as the driven snow.

If you’re in a horror movie and Judy Greer is playing your best friend, you have an above average chance of not dying unless you’re a minority.

These 4 horror movies will illustrate that fact. Why only 4? When Judy Greer has appeared in hundreds of films and TV shows.

Why indeed?

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1) Malignant (2021)

Warning. There will be spoilers so if you haven’t seen this, then see it right f*cking now and then go back to this part in the list. We’ll wait.

You’re back. Good. Spoilers will abound now.

As you know, Malignant’s put upon main character Maddie (Annabelle Wallis) is suffering from visions of murder that end up actually happening. Maddie is in such a state. But if it weren’t for Maddie’s best friend Hibiscus (Judy Greer, deserving of a best friend Oscar), then the mystery of Maddie’s malignant tumor would never be solved.

Judy Greer Best Friend Line:

“Hey Maddie, it looks like you got a thing in the back of your head!”

With that one line, the course of the movie and the course of Maddie’s life is changed. Thanks to Judy Greer.

Maybe you’ve got a cancerous growth in the back of your head that doesn’t let you see Judy Greer. I’d get that checked.

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2) Peeping Tom (1960)

Often regarded as one of the first slashers in modern horror movies as well as being one of Martin Scorsese’s favorite movies, Peeping Tom had Judy Greer not only help the main character creepy Mark Lewis (Karlheinz Bohm) capture and kill young women to capture their facial expressions, but Greer’s Jody also served as Mark Lewis’ Director of Photography as well as Craft Services coordinator and focus puller.

Judy Greer Best Friend Line:

“That’s some really good killing, Mark Lewis. I fully support what you’re doing without judgement and am happy to help in anyway that I can because we’re such good friends.”

Without Judy Greer, Peeping Tom would be just Tom.

Creeping Tom.

This movie is a ba-a-ad as this pun.

This movie is a ba-a-ad as this pun.

3) Lamb (2021)

Maria (Noomi Rapace) and Ingvar (Hilmir Snaer Gudnason) live and work on their farm in Iceland. There’s not much else to do there except work on the farm and freeze your extremities off. Until a lamb is born. And they decide to care for it as if it were a child. Most of you would say that’s f*cking nuts and most of you would be right. Will Maria and Ingvar continue to make stupid choices that makes you question what’s in the Icelandic water? Not if Judy Greer’s Halibera (a real Icelandic name because I looked it up) has anything to say about it. She’s Maria’s best friend, and best friends know when it's time to tell the truth.

Judy Greer Best Friend Line:

“Maybe you’re not meant to put a lamb in a dress like a little girl because they’re not little girls. Also, I am really in the mood for some Turkish spiced lamb mince.”

If you’ve seen the movie you know that not all friends’ advice is heeded. Even if it’s from Judy Greer. She really wanted that lamb mince.

Not directed by M. Night Shyama-Lamb.

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4) The Vanishing (1988)

One of Stanley Kubrick’s favorite movies. This Dutch horror thriller in which French is mainly spoken involves our main character Raymond (Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu) searching for his girlfriend Saskia (Johanna Ter Steege) after she goes missing from a convenience store. It’s certainly not convenient that she’s been gone for three years. But at least Raymond has his best friend Heleen (Judy Greer) to help him through the toughest of times.

Judy Greer Best Friend Line:

“Sucks that your girlfriend’s been missing for three years. She’s probably dead by now. I am really in the mood for some Turkish spice lamb mince.”

If you’ve seen the movie, you know that three years is just the beginning of Raymond’s bad news. But at least Judy Greer is there with him.

Overall

It sucks being the main character in a horror movie. But at least national and international treasure Judy Greer will be there during your final minutes.

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.

© 2022 Noel Penaflor

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