My Cat Persephone Wrote this Review on her Smartphone. It was better than Mine. .
Hello. It’s me.
Before pop megastar Adele’s newest album 30 hits stores, digital outlets, Spotify playlists, that guy under the bridge that sells you fruit and audiocassettes, let’s take a look back at a small sampling of some of her songs and the horror movies that totally inspired the true-to-life list that can be verified using many verification processes that in turn have also been verified by JD Power and Friends.
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If you’re an Adele fan (which you are or else you wouldn’t be reading this list) you might have heard that her previous albums (19, 21, 25, 82, Captain Adele The Winter Soldier, Platform 9 3/4) were based on things that happened during the corresponding year in her life. We listened to her heartbreak and her triumph.
But did you know that some of her songs were based on horror movies?
Glad you asked.
Glad you asked.
Because here are 4 of her songs. And the horror movies they were based on.
Feel free to sing along if you like.
Both. Again, if you’re an Adele fan you know these songs like the back of your head. But now you might see them in a different light.
Be warned, some of these have massive spoilers (okay, all of them) but these movies are pretty old so if you haven’t seen them by now, odds are you never were going to see them so don’t whine like a little b*tch.
1) Make You Feel My Love from 19
So many pretty parts and no pretty wholes.
Inspired by May (2002)
Bob Dylan wrote the original lyrics. But did you know that after seeing the movie May with her friends Karen and Paul Rudd, Adele knew she had to cover this song. Not just because it’s a great song, but because she played it while practicing taxidermy and killing random people for body parts to make a very special friend. Like May, Adele eventually made herself a little Adele-enstein’s monster from the people she butchered. She took it on tour with her to promote 19. But it got lost in a hostel somewhere in Edinburgh. So if you’ve gotten lost in an Edinburgh hostel and you hear a scratchy version of this song, you should probably contact Adele because she’s been missing her creation since 2008. Then again, that might not be possible because it will probably devour you. Make you feel its love.
2) Rolling in the Deep from 21
I’m an English Teacher, Not F*cking Tomb Raider
Inspired By The Descent (2005)
If you were around in 2011, you know this song hit number one in 57 different countries and 78 different planets. Even if you hadn’t heard it in forever you still know the lyrics. It’s that timeless. But did you also know that Adele had this song half-written until the saw The Descent? The film vividly reminded her of the time she went spelunking with some of her girlfriends and then a bunch of cave dwelling monsters attacked them and killed every one of them but Adele.
One of the cave monsters was about to kill her, but in that moment Adele saw the rest of the song in her head and spontaneously sung it to the cave monster. If she was going to die in a cave, at least she was going to die singing a song. The cave monster loved it so much it began to cry and decided not to kill Adele. Instead, it helped Adele find the cave’s exit. Adele went home, wrote the song out and a modern classic was born. The albino cave dwelling creature (named Bradley Cooper) now has perpetual free tickets to her show whenever Adele is playing near the caves. Adele invited him to go on tour. Bradley Cooper turned it down after much consideration because even though he would have fun, he would miss attacking tourists that stumble onto his cave. Adele understood. In her free time she visits Bradley Cooper and brings a person she doesn’t really like with her. You know, as a present for her cave monster friend.
3) Easy on Me from 30
This wire can cut flesh and bones easily.
Inspired by Audition (1999)
Takashi Miike’s lighthearted romantic comedy sparked Adele’s first single from her newest album 30. The main character Asami’s (Eihi Shiina) arc from deceptively meek possible wife to…you’ve seen the movie made Adele think of this song. By the end Adele had this song fully formed in her head and wrote most of the lyrics on a box of popcorn. In fact, the title “Easy On Me” is a play on words on the main character Asami.
What’s in that duffel bag? Some guy and this amazing song. Like Asami goes easy on Shigeharu with piano wire and needles, Adele goes easy on your heart with that golden voice. Adele, you never need to audition. As long as you leave us with our feet intact.
4) Set Fire to the Rain from 21
So Are We Just Going to Ignore The Bear Then
Inspired by Midsommar (2019)
It was during the final 15 minutes of the movie that Adele thought up the song “Set Fire to the Rain”. You remember the kooky climax when d*ck boyfriend Christian (Jack Reynor, naked) gets set on fire during the Hargas’ final ritual. For most of Midsommar Adele had the song, “Old People Jumping off A Cliff” but couldn’t think up a bridge with a good beat. But when Christian and the rest of the get-roasted crew blaze up Swedish style, a new song was born.
For those of you who like Adele Easter Eggs, here’s one to blow your mind.
We all know Christian, spelled C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n. But if you rearrange the letters in Christian, you get…
You guessed it. Christian = Set Fire To the Rain.
It’s something you can tell your friends when you’re watching Midsommar or at an Adele concert. Just be very respectful of that tree.
Adele’s 30 comes out November 19th, 2021. You pre-ordered it weeks ago. We’ll share her pain and joy. And maybe the next horror movie we see will be her next song. Also maybe I will come up with a better closing sentence.