My Cat Persephone Wrote this Review on her Smartphone. It was better than Mine. .
It seems unnecessary to post this list since most of your Netflix queues immediately show this exact thing when you first log on.
But I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for my nephew Mortimer, who just recently learned about movies when I was babysitting for him last Halloween—
Oh no, Mortimer isn’t back from Trick-or-Treating yet.
I guess I’ll go look for him on this fine June morning/afternoon/evening.
No. Mortimer can wait. You clicked on this. You deserve this list.
Brad Pitt plays an animated bunny named Hans Heinrich who is accused of stealing a Tibetan monk, stuffing him in his pocket, and rolling around Tibet without paying duty fees. I remember back in 1997 the only crime this Brad bunny committed was taking two and a half hours of my time and making it seem like five. In retrospect, a more accurate title would have been Seven Years in my Seat. Not the best Brad Pitt movie with Seven in the title.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie play animated bunnies who are wrongly accused of cheating on Jennifer Aniston while on the set of a pretty decent action/comedy from 2005.
Wait, I remember this being true. And while technically not a crime, this is making me feel super-duper awkward.
I want to write about another movie in which an animated bunny is accused of a crime. A real crime.
Or if the movie just happens to have 4 words in the title. So far that hasn’t happened yet, but it will. Just you wait.
Brad Pitt plays a Canadian bunny named Bass who’s wrongly imprisoned as a slave for about a dozen years. He’s forced to do slave things against his will and—
Sorry, Brad Pitt just texted me and told me it wasn’t his character that was wrongly imprisoned but the one played by Chiwetel Ejiofor named Solomon Northrup. He texted that it was based on a true story and that I should be ashamed of myself for not knowing this important piece of history as it won the Oscar for Best Picture in 2013.
Remember earlier when I said I felt super-duper awkward? Well now I feel even awkwarder than that.
Fun Fact- Brad Pitt sends really long texts and fruit emojis.
Brad Pitt plays a bunny that gets killed by a bear and he ugly cries. Probably before he gets killed by the bear.
Jessica Chastain and Brad Pitt play married bunnies who are wrongly accused of--
Yeah, I have no clue as to what this movie’s about. I know it’s Terrence Malick and it’s supposed to be arty and stuff, but half the movie’s just shots of fields or possibly the same field. There are dinosaurs and four hours’ worth of voiceover, but all to no real end. Sean Penn’s in it, and he works in an office. Midway through the movie he just takes off and starts walking. I don’t think you can do that in a real job.
Tom Cruise is an animated bunny that plays football. Rumor has it that if you pause the movie just right you can see his bunny penis. It’s also a pretty decent movie, so don’t just rent it at your local video store for that reason. The proprietor of the local, possibly even family run video store will know just by looking at the position of the videotape exactly what you were looking for. A least rewind the darn thing.
This 1986 Martin Scorsese movie has nothing to do with bunnies but it does have four words in the title. It won Paul Newman his first Oscar which he later ground into a very special bottle of Newman’s Own salad dressing. I want that shirt Tom Cruise wears that says “Vince”. My name is not Vince, I just want a shirt that says it.
Instead of playing a bunny, Tom Cruise portrays a lawyer that defends two wrongfully accused bunnies of enacting a “Code Red”. A “Code Red” is defined as “scooping up the field mice and boppin’ em on the head”. Very intense drama, and that’s the bunny truth. Can you handle it?
Tom Cruise once again plays secret agent bunny Ethan Hunt as he’s strapped on a plane against a nation of rogue rabbits called the Bun-dicate. Hunt is wrongfully framed for all kinds of action-packed shenanigans. Fun for the whole wire-dangling family
This list entry brought to you by your friends at Scientology. Show us the money.
Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi actioner squeaks into this list by virtue of having 4 words in the title. I’ve checked to make sure there are no animated bunnies in this movie. If there were, they were destroyed by the aliens or eaten by Tim Robbins’ kooky character. Oh yeah, and Tom Cruise is in this as well. So random.
The final movie on this list is special because it’s the rare movie that is has both four words in the title and involves animated bunnies accused of a crime. You remember back in 1994 Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt playing vampire bunnies and turning Kirsten Dunst into a little vampire bunny. I don’t.
That’s the list. Sorry if this was redundant since you pretty much guessed all eleven movies before you clicked the link.
Feel free to add your favorite wrongfully accused animated bunny/four words in the title movie in the comments below.
And be sure to vote. Someone’s children is depending on it
Brad Pitt's Sketchy Quote in the Summary
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. It is not meant to substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, or formal and individualized advice from a veterinary medical professional. Animals exhibiting signs and symptoms of distress should be seen by a veterinarian immediately.
© 2019 Noel Penaflor
Jennifer Jorgenson on July 16, 2019:
I can only imagine
Noel Penaflor (author) from California on July 16, 2019:
Thank you very much! This took years and years to write!
Jennifer Jorgenson on June 12, 2019:
This is hilarious!