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Know Yourself - Why Am I The Way I Am !!

Understanding Myself Better

Ever asked yourself one intriguing yet simple question….Why am I the way I am? Well, it might sound a bit crazy but, honestly, I’ve tried to figure out many times, the reason for my being the way I am. I don’t mean my physical appearance but my mental and psychological framework, my perspective, the way I handle life situations and my attitude towards life and people in general. What makes me different (in a good or bad way) from those around me? Why am I different from others, in the first place? There has got to be some valid reason behind the stark dissimilarity existing between the species of the same class. What could be the best explanation for two children to be like poles apart, despite being born of the same parents and raised in the same environment? Why does one kid love his paint brush and color palette and the other one, robotic machines? Truly, there’s got be something more to it than the simple genetic and hereditary explanation for varied behavioral patterns manifested by human beings.


Beauty in Diversity

Every single living being on this planet seems to be carefully and meticulously designed and artistically developed by our Creator. It seems that He ensured, while creating life on this planet, that every living creature was different from the other. Perhaps, the beauty of His creation lies in the diversity that He intended. How drab and monotonous would a garden look if there were flowers of only one color adorning it! Amazingly, the ‘diversity’ filters down even to level of finger prints which are not similar in case of any two persons or for that matter, the pattern of stripes on the body of a tiger which are in fact used to differentiate one tiger from the other; the stripes of one tiger are, strangely, distinct from the others in the same group. I’ll try not to go off track here. Coming back to the point, is it possible that we exhibit varying types of behavioral patterns just because we all exist at different levels of awareness in the same cosmos? We are, most certainly, a result of our (past and present life) experiences and our wisdom is a conglomerate of the type of experiences we might’ve had while walking the path of life.


Essence of Human Life

At this juncture, I can suddenly picture myself walking through a dense forest along a narrow and seemingly unending road. I see some people ahead of me and some following me but no one seems to be concerned about the fellow travelers. Everyone seems to be worried about finding one’s way out of the forest before dark. I suddenly see a traveler run out of breath; he struggles for a while and then drops down dead. Tears fill my eyes but, like the rest, I feel helpless and leaving his cold and lifeless body behind, I move on. I see some people walking on the wrong path, losing their way into the dense forest. I try to dissuade them but they don’t seem to listen. Again, feeling sad and helpless, knowing their obvious outcome, I take a deep breath and move on. Suddenly I see a little boy walking beside me. I smile at him and he smiles back. A sudden realization strikes like a lightning bolt. I recognize his spirit. He is the same man who died in front of my eyes but since he had not been able to complete his journey in the old fragile body, he had abandoned it and chosen to resume his journey in a new body. This little boy, certainly, had a young body but he was already a wise soul for being born with accumulated wisdom of many past lives. It dawned on me that all of us, despite walking the same path, were at different levels of understanding, all rushing forward to find our way before the sun down and trying hard to stick to the right path. It’s definitely a challenge but then that’s what the purpose of being born time and again is….to fulfill life’s purpose by reaching the ‘light’ before it gets too late (dark).

Going Back In Time

Finding out the nexus between who we are and who we were in past lives can be a daunting task as we are supposed to be born with accumulated wisdom but with no memory of the lives we might have lived on this planet. Courtesy some astonishing revelations made by the pioneers in the field of science and spirituality, some of us have been able to travel back in time and relive our past lives so as to mitigate the trauma in our present lives. I’m sure most of you might have read some interesting anecdotes revealed by Past life experts, e.g. Dr. Brian Weiss in his book titled Many Lives Many Masters. I’m no expert on this subject but I, too, have some real life incidents to share with you where people were able to better understand the reason behind pain and suffering in their present lives and the reason for bringing out the worst in their partners, no matter how hard they tried not to. This is only the tip of the iceberg.

1. A young woman cried her heart out when her father passed away. It felt like losing everything she had. Carrying the burden of her crushed spirit, she lived like a dead woman for many years. Her childhood memories kept coming back to her and tormented her. She couldn’t understand why she wasn’t able to do anything for her father while he was alive. She kept cursing herself for being the cause of pain and misery to him, all her life, for going against his wishes and for bringing bad name to him. Past life regression revealed that her father had been her husband in one of her previous lives and in that life he had humiliated and subjected her to untold misery by marrying a beautiful and younger woman while she was still married to him and had to live in the same house despite the second woman taking over. (She recognized the second woman as a celebrity in the existing life). It seems that in the present life whatever pain this woman caused her father was only a pay back. The man, who abandoned his wife in the past life, was probably given another opportunity to fulfill his responsibility towards his first wife but this time she chose to be his daughter. It’s easier to escape one’s duties as a husband than as a father.

2. A woman sacrificed everything she had for her only son. She left her family only for providing a safe and secure environment to her child. She couldn’t understand the reason of her being over protective towards her son as such an attitude had brought her nothing but pain and distress all her life. Regression revealed that in one of her previous lives, she had tried hard to protect her three children from someone whom she could not recognize. She found herself making secret arrangements for running away with her kids in the middle of the night. In another vision she saw herself standing outside her house in a state of shock. The house had blown up in an explosion with her kids inside. The woman cried inconsolably when she came out of the trance. It was obvious that her soul had retained those strong feelings of protecting her child from the previous life. She understood why she had always feared that something bad would happen to her child if she did not take him away from the rest of the family. It was perhaps some unfinished work which her soul forced her to complete in her present life.

Digging Out the Cause

There are countless such anecdotes which provide explanation for “Why a person does what he does?” or “Why does one feel insecure or angry?” or “Why does one run after money or turn towards spirituality?” It seems that our past life experiences are responsible for our psychic impressions which in turn govern our actions in the present lives. Ultimately, it comes down to being at different levels of awareness and understanding. Perhaps this could even explain bad marriages and broken relationships too. It’s just because one partner keeps struggling to raise (or bring down) the other one to his (or her) own level which, definitely, is not possible and, therefore, they drift apart. It’s as simple as that. I wish prescribing a solution could be as simple as making the diagnosis.

Know Yourself - your essence

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anjalichugh (author) from New York on January 31, 2014:

@Deborah : Thanks for coming back. Always love to see you around. :)

Deborah Sexton on January 31, 2014:

Great hub and so true. People seem to know others better than they know themselves

anjalichugh (author) from New York on October 15, 2011:


You're so right! I can imagine how you must have felt when you heard those words from your little girl's mouth. Such incidents do change the course of our lives and we are forced to analyze what we are doing as against what we are supposed to do.

Thanks a lot for sharing your experience here. Its a reminder for us that we all have a purpose that needs to be fulfilled. I again thank you for your insightful comment.

Tcherry on October 14, 2011:

I have always felt that i was different then others and couldn't figure out why ! Things that I would hope & pray for would some how come true and I would always Learn a lesson from it not always the lesson I wanted , bit knew it was a lesson ! When I met my husband he was every thing I had ever wanted . We had major struggles and had to learn some things about each other and things about ourselves ! Not always good things , but we hung in there ! When we had our daughter she could barely talk and she told us we were her other parents and we got her because her other mom & dad had died , she told us how and where ! She could have never known what she told us if she hadn't been there ! We knew then that we were on a path that was very important ! She changed our life , I knew then that I was different and I was praying for those things so she would choose us ! We are still a family , she has such an old soul that people are always telling us this ! We are so lucky to have experienced this from her , it taught us a lot ! She is always telling me mom you always know ! I tell her that's why she choose me is so I would teach her to know , but she taught me ! We learn so much from each other , I know that's why we were picked for each other ! Thanks for listening or reading !

anjalichugh (author) from New York on May 16, 2011:

Jtyler: Thank you for stopping by. We all would like to know your views after you do your research. Everyone's opinion is welcome here. :)

jtyler on May 16, 2011:

This is an interesting hub. I never thought of it this way. I agree with the first thing you said: "is it possible that we exhibit varying types of behavioral patterns just because we all exist at different levels of awareness." However, I'm not sure about my beliefs on reincarnation. I don't believe it would interfere with Christianity, as it is not addressed at all. I'm going to do some of my own research onto this topic. Thanks.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on December 17, 2010:

acaetnna: Thanks a lot for being so generous. Love to see you in my hubs. You've got a wonderful presence. :)

acaetnna from Guildford on December 17, 2010:

So thought provoking. You talk and write things that make so much sense. Knowing who you are is the absolute key in my opinion. Thanks for another great hub Anjalichugh.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on August 11, 2010:

Emma: Thank you very much for such wonderful words. Feel free to come back.

Emma on August 11, 2010:

I love it! hope to see more articles soon!

anjalichugh (author) from New York on August 04, 2010:

Zac828: I loved your honest words.

You should consider yourself lucky to have a partner who walks with you and talks to you. In today's world, this has become a luxury. God bless the two of you. Thx very much for adding value to this hub. Keep coming back. :)

Zac828 from England on August 04, 2010:

I completely believe this, having gone through pain and seperation I am constantly trying to understand who I am. So much is from the past and it shapes us. But there is more and I feel that I change and become more aware, as if I am walking on another level. Luckily, I am with a partner who walks with me and we talk, something I'm not used to. This is a lovely hub, thank you.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on July 19, 2010:

Hi Deborah! How have you been? Its really been a long time. I'm sorry for not being able to read your hubs for quite a while. Its been crazy at work. I hope to find time next month which is when I'll be more active on HP. I've always loved to read your hubs. Thx for your wonderful presence.

Deborah Sexton on July 19, 2010:

Wonderful hub, well written and with great information.

Knowing who you are helps you uncover the shadow self and dispel it's power.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on April 28, 2010:

Hi Pam!

So refreshing to see your post at the end of a very tiring day. Can't thank you enough for your wonderful words. I completely agree with you when you said:

" I think that karma can run through generations and sometimes a person may have a life that brings family karma to consciousness--a life that kind of burns it out in a way."

In my opinion, until we do what we are supposed to do (or fulfill some unfinished work or make things right)past karmas keep haunting us and literally compel us to fulfill our life purpose. It all depends on what stage of our journey our eyes open (awakening) and we start seeing things clearly. It's like sifting wheat from chaff but to reach that stage is one long process. Lets hope we are close to that stage. That teacher's name was a real coincidence. Made me smile. Thx a ton Pam for stopping by.

Hi James!

Me...an outstanding writer? Look who's talking! It feels good (though) coming from a veteran. : Thank you very much for being so kind and encouraging.

James A Watkins from Chicago on April 28, 2010:

Thank you for publishing this lovely article. I appreciate your outstanding writing skills.

pgrundy on April 28, 2010:

Anjali, this is so good. I like this perspective a lot regardless of whether it is trye, because it makes compassion for ourselves and others possible while leaving judgment and consequence up to God or Creation--It seems like a much better way to go about things than vice versa.

I often wonder about why I had so much pain and destruction in my early life and am still haunted by guilt over not being able to 'fix' any of it. Even though I've achieved a rational understanding and some compassion for myself and my family, and even though I've done lots and lots of work on it, I still wonder why it had to be so.

I think that karma can run through generations and sometimes a person may have a life that brings family karma to consciousness--a life that kind of burns it out in a way. If you don't have an understanding or belief in past lives and karma, then this won't make sense to you at all--this explanation won't even cross your mind. I think that is why Buddhism and Hinduism have fascinated me for so long and why I am so drawn to them--there's an explanation there that addresses my personal situation in a way Christianity doesn't and gives me some insight & comfort.

Not that Christianity is bad--I think you know what I'm trying to say. BTW I just realized I had a visiting philosophy teacher from India when I was in my 20s whose last name was Chugh--a gazillion trillion years ago. He was really tough and used to throw chalk at people if they fell asleep in class. :)

anjalichugh (author) from New York on April 25, 2010:

Hi Susan! I guess we all need such reminders time and again. It just makes the journey and the ordeals (attached with it)relatively simple to deal with. Thx very much for your kind words. :)

susanlang on April 25, 2010:

This was a thoughtful and deep subject. Talk about thinking "outside the box" you sure did that here. A simple reminder we are all human and fall short on a daily basis. I found the You Tube video on Stevenson's research very engaging.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on April 25, 2010:


Thx so much for your wonderful words. Now I'm speechless. :)

I'm here..whenever you need me. I would consider myself fortunate if I'm useful in any way. Thx again for making me feel good. :)

aliciajadebrowne from I am where I am, and that's all you need to know. on April 25, 2010:

Wow, I'm very interested in diversity and reincarnation and such. You're works are very inspiring. You use such sophisticated words and combinations, and I'm simply at a loss for words. I admire your sense of speech greatly and I look up to you to help inspire me to be such a great speaker in the future and understand different things I may want to speak about more.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on April 01, 2010:


When I mentioned 'pay back' in my hub, I neither intended nor expressly stated that God wants us to take revenge. It's a deep rooted philosophy...there's a lot more to it than is visible to human eye / conscious mind. It's said that the life we get to live is completely our own choice not God's. It's very important to forgive and forget because if we don't then we leave the world with the same negative emotions we might have lived with, which actually stay with us (soul)until we get rid of them. I might take it up in my next hub as it cannot be explained in a few lines. Thx for taking time to read and sharing your insight.

aishsebastain from IRELAND on April 01, 2010:

hai anjali all life is unique as in hindus philosphy human birth is acieved by doing good deeds in past life.we are avatars of soul packed in different body.i am a soul packed in my body which you seems another soul but do remember one thing all souls are from universal creator.god wanted us to do certain things in life no payback,revenge or harm to other souls but to enrich life of othersouls we are doing everything.according to christian philosophy god made human so its clear he made his own mistakes but there will be a day .in my life i found one thing i need to mention whatever you do you are doing for yourself.we weep,make fun of others,we do not care all we are doing for ourself so great people tell like vivekanada swamy i am like a guest to this world actually this is not my home.do not be afraid of what you are what you were or what you are going to be?be very near to your god your belief stay close he will guide you in his palms

anjalichugh (author) from New York on March 30, 2010:

AEvans: Thank you so much for dropping by. Your presence adds value to my hubs. :)

Julianna from SomeWhere Out There on March 29, 2010:

I have never tried past life regression but I may consider it down the road. It all certainly makes sense, even when you cannot quite figure out why you tend to do the things you do. Very interesting you certainly have me thinking. :)

anjalichugh (author) from New York on March 29, 2010:

loveofnight: Thx so much for appreciating my thoughts. Good to see you dropping by.

Loveofnigjht Anderson from Baltimore, Maryland on March 29, 2010:

it is true that many of us are traveling the same path but on different levels of understanding, this was indeed a good read......thx

anjalichugh (author) from New York on March 29, 2010:


Perhaps I've come a long way too because of which I'm able to understand this reality now. I was not at this level of awareness until a few years ago. So, this a continuous process...a process of seeking the 'truth'. That's why it's said that we die learning. Thx a ton for your wonderful words.

Paradise7 from Upstate New York on March 29, 2010:

This was SUCH an interesting read. I like your metaphors: I like your level of understanding that we are all on the same path but in different places on the path.

We walk towards the light. I like that metaphor so much.

The way people can't let go of what doesn't serve them until they find out WHY they have these compulsions, I agree with that. The issue isn't resolved until you can figure out what went on before.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on March 28, 2010:

Money Glitch:

Hope you got your answers. :) Thx for your kind comments.


Yes, that's the way I feel. It's good to be a seeker and gather as much knowledge as we can in the course of this journey. Its only going to make us wiser....wise enough to understand the 'truth' of our existence. Thx so much for being a part of this hub.

Shil1978 on March 28, 2010:

A fascinating hub indeed Anjali. I've wondered about this question myself countless times. The beauty of being human is we get to reflect upon questions such as these, and unless we do, we aren't really doing justice to our existence.

It isn't enough to just exist. Questioning and reflection is essential. You are doing just that, in your own deep wonderful way. A fascinating read!! Thanks for this wonderful hub!!

Money Glitch from Texas on March 28, 2010:

Intriguing and thought provoking, Anjali! I like others have often wondered why am I the way I am and have enjoyed over the last few years exploring new avenues into getting answers. Thanks for sharing this new insight that I can now contemplate upon. :)

anjalichugh (author) from New York on March 28, 2010:


Yes, this is a very intricate subject with complex fact patterns available for study. There is so much happening around us for which science has no explanation but it still exists. No matter how far we go or how high we rise, we would always find answers to some of our nagging questions only on going back to the roots. Thank you very much for taking time to read and for your kind comments.

Hi Shailini!

As I always say I'm flattered by your presence in my hubs. You've always been generous and supportive in your choice of words. I so much appreciate your kindness. Thx.

anjalichugh (author) from New York on March 28, 2010:

Hi Linda!

Thx very much for stopping by. Your presence is always welcome.

Hi Pam!

The things I write about are those which are in your blood. You have been experiencing such phenomena right from your childhood days and your kids inherited the same ability from you. What I mean is that you should be the one speaking more about it rather than a person like me who might have had random spiritual experiences. You're truly blessed and so are your children. Regressing once in a while is good, in my opinion, as it acts as a reminder of the continuity of the journey we all go through. BTW would it be possible for you to give the link to your blog here. I had bookmarked it earlier but I lost the search history due to some technical snag in my computer. Thx a ton for not forgetting me. :)

anjalichugh (author) from New York on March 28, 2010:

Hi Dohn!

Even though it's nothing which people don't already know, yet it's always better to shoot out reminders. :) I'm so grateful to you for making me feel good no matter how ordinary my hubs might be. Thx again. :)

Hi Marie!

I can very well understand the third eye phenomenon you mentioned as it has happened with me many times. I'm familiar with sparks flashing through the body. When it happens to me I feel light headed and my eyes (sort of) close involuntarily. I've to lie down and rest my head on the pillow. I know you can relate to my spiritual experiences as you are far ahead of me on this 'life path'. It has been great to come in contact with you during the course of my journey. Who knows how many times we might have met before!! Thx so much Marie for sharing your experiences here.

Shalini Kagal from India on March 28, 2010:

Isn't it amazing how complex we are and how there's so much about ourselves that we haven't fathomed? So often, when a sense of 'deja vu' comes upon us, our logical mind pushes it away saying it just can't be.

Thank you for this fascinating hub, Anjali - as always, so well presented!

Hummingbird5356 on March 28, 2010:

I think we all think like this at some time in our lives. My father used to talk about something he had read on this subject. Because we seem to know things that we have not experienced, it was assumed that we can think backwards as well as forwards. Somewhere in our brain is the knowledge of the past and the future. Not everyone is able to connect to this. As if our brain is like a computer that has been fully programmed and we don't have the tools to access all the different programmes.

It could explain why children sometimes know things that they could not have learned at home or in their environment.

It is a very interesting subject and you wrote a very good hub. This is something that we could talk about for ever.

pgrundy on March 28, 2010:

I love the way you explained this. So often people think of karma as punishment but it is much more complex. Anyway punishment isn't that effective so why would that ever be the main purpose! lol! All of my children had distinct character traits at birth--they were not blank slates!

When my son was small he used to ask me sometimes, "Remember when I used to be a girl?" When he was a little older he was at an overnight party with friends and in the middle of a conversation he kind of went glassy-eyed and then started talking in another language. None of them recognized the language but they were certainly freaked out. It raised a lot of questions for him. He's 24 now and he's just fine, but I always wondered if he wasn't very close to a past life for some reason.

Linda Joslin from UNIVERSE on March 28, 2010:

Love the story telling of this inspiring hub, thank you.



VioletSun from Oregon/ Name: Marie on March 27, 2010:

Anajali: I enjoyed reading this as you know these are my favorite subjects and you have a way of making one think. I have had spontaneous past life regressions two in dreams, and one when waking up in the morning, and it was like watching a TV movie in my third eye; I was quite stunned by this experience when my third eye closed like a circle closing, and felt electrical sparks. I still remember the image of me as a rather poor woman, in a cobblestone street, next to horse carriage. To this day,. I love, love cobblestone streets, never knew why before. So yes, we are spirit beings having a human experience.

Always good to read you!

dohn121 from Hudson Valley, New York on March 27, 2010:

This was so fascinating to read! I've come across several stories that are similar to the ones you shared here. Growing up as a Theravadan Buddhist, all of these phenomena cam be explained. Karma and attachment first come to mind. You did such an excellent job of visualizing to your readers each given situation of each story. Yes, our "spirit" is in fact the essence of our individuality! Thanks for sharing this and for pointing this out!