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Twelve Signs of Emotional Intelligence

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We all know about the intelligence quotient, and most of us fall within the average range. When, we talk about an individual’s level of intelligence we use the terms like smart, intelligent, idiot, stupid, and dumb. What most people do not know is that we also possess an EQ, or EI, which is our level of emotional intelligence.

It is the ability to understand, use, and manage our emotions in positive ways, to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others and defuse conflicts.

Emotional intelligence guides us to respond in a specific situation. The feelings we experience greatly affect our lives so if you want to become a better parent, friend, partner, and colleague then you have to learn about the traits of emotionally intelligent people. It is very easy to influence the lives of other individuals if you’re aware of what they’re feeling, or what’s the reason behind their specific emotions. People will feel more comfortable while addressing you.

J Friedman describes emotional intelligence as,

A way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think and act. It defines what and how we comprehend different things.

It helps us to set priorities. It builds our perception about our own self, and our relation with other people. It determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests that emotional intelligence highly affects the success of a person.

Signs of Emotional Intelligence:

I will share twelve signs shown in people with high emotional intelligence, here.

1- They can read people

People with high emotional intelligence can read people too easily. Peter Drucker an Austrian-born American management consultant and author said that,

the most important thing in communication is hearing.

So a highly emotionally intelligent person not only listens to words of other individuals attentively, but also reads people through their facial expressions and body language.

2- They control their thinking

Most times we can not decide how we will react when faced with an unusual situation. Whether we will get angry, be excited, or feel sad. However, in the case of emotionally intelligent people, they can control how they react to those feelings by focusing on their thoughts. The way they think makes them not become slaves to their emotions.

3- They think about their feelings

Emotionally intelligent people can identify emotions, and the role they play in influencing a person’s thoughts and actions. Because they spend time observing themselves and others. As a result of this, they can see things that lie below the surface especially when it comes to the reaction of people in different situations.

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4- They are honest

Emotionally intelligent people say what they mean. They do not speak half-truths or try to camouflage things. They are honest in their approach to life and their dealings with people.

5- They keep their commitment

Emotionally intelligent people understand that keeping their words in both small and big things establishes a strong reputation for reliability and trustworthiness. So even when it comes to something as trivial as bailing out on a friend on movie night, emotionally intelligent people ensure that they keep their promises.

6- They show empathy

Alfred Adler, an Austrian medical doctor defines empathy as

seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and filling with the heart of another.

Empathy does not necessarily mean agreeing and accepting a person’s point of view; it means striving to understand, allowing us to build deeper, more connected relationships. Emotional intelligent people are empathetic, putting themselves in other people’s positions without being judgmental. They work hard to see things through another person’s eyes.

7- They help others

Highly emotionally intelligent people know how it feels to want help or be in a weak position because they are empathetic. Hence, they are always willing to stretch out their helping hands to people who may need it.

8- They are aware of their strengths and weaknesses

Emotionally intelligent people are self-aware. They know their strengths and weaknesses, so they focus on using their strength more often while not losing sight of their shortcomings. They become able to take control of it, whenever, the slightest opportunity for it to be displayed is introduced.

9- They forgive and forget

Remember that emotionally intelligent people are not a slave to their emotions. They are good at forgiving people who offend them and forgetting about it. As well as they understand the best time to forgive people and move on. They prevent others from holding their emotions hostage.

10- They know when to relax

If a person is emotionally intelligent, it does not mean that they should understand very little as they experience it or dissect every event as it happens. So they know when to search for deeper understanding when necessary and enjoy the moment at other times. If you find yourself doing some of those things it might suggest that you are emotionally intelligent.

11- They guide themselves from emotional manipulation

You are probably wondering if there is a downside to being emotionally intelligent. The answer is, yes. People can try to manipulate or deceive others to achieve their selfish goals or ambitions. They're aware of this, so they ensure that they continually sharpen the emotional cushion to protect themselves from manipulators.

12- They know where they need improvement

People with low EI make the world believe that they know everything and can do anything. When something goes wrong they blame others. A person with high EI knows the areas in their life that need improvement. They're always learning and therefore always growing.



Unlike brain intelligence: our IQ, emotional intelligence can be raised to some extent. Part of our EI is innate, part of it is shaped by the environment and another part is our attitude. Are you willing to learn to understand and conquer your emotions? Are you interested in becoming a better problem solver? Do you want to achieve your goals? Developing your emotional intelligence allows you the opportunity to avoid miscommunications and misunderstandings. It deepens your relationships and helps you balance work, home, and fun in a meaningful way. Remember that the biggest determinant of success is measured by EQ, not IQ.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 S Saleha

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