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The Five Worst National Parks In USA

Mt. Rainier National Park

Mt. Rainier National Park

The Joshua Tree....Yes, this really is a national park!

The Joshua Tree....Yes, this really is a national park!

Death Valley National Park

Death Valley National Park

the-five-worst-national-parks-in-america

An ominous title for sure! Before we start, a few qualifying remarks are needed. First, this writer loves the National Park System. I have been to many of the national parks in the country and have found great enjoyment and peace while visiting them; I have stood in awe at the majesty of Yellowstone, have hiked most of Mt. Rainier National Park and stood in stunned silence in Yosemite. I have personally visited thirty-two of the fifty-eight national parks and will visit many of the remaining ones before my time on earth has ended. However, there are some that I will never see and this article will help to explain my reasons for those choices.

Secondly, this article is completely tongue-in-cheek and really needs to be read in that spirit. I fully realize that my tastes are individual in nature and as such I am more than willing to accept the fact that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now, if you can accept those two qualifications, I hope you enjoy my list of the Five Worst National Parks in America.

The National Park Service has been protecting and preserving the fifty-eight National Parks since 1916 and considering continual budget restraints they have been doing a bang-up job. Latest figures tell us that over 285 million visitors each year thrill in the natural beauty of these parks and despite a down economy the numbers continue to stay steady and strong. Americans do, indeed, love their national parks. My goal, because these are tough economic times, is to save you the trouble of spending money visiting parks that clearly lack the appeal of, oh say, Great Smoky Mountains or Yellowstone. In other words, why be miserable on vacation when you have had to work hard and save for your one vacation each year? Here, then, is my list of the Five Worst.

#5 JOSHUA TREE

No, this park does not consist of just one tree! It encompasses parts of the Colorado and Mojave Deserts and includes sand dunes, dry lakes, desert scenery (is there such a thing?) and yes, quite a few Joshua Trees. For the un-initiated, the Joshua Tree was so named by the Mormons when they crossed the Mojave Desert because it reminded them of Joshua in the Bible raising his hands in prayer. Okay, I get it, the tree is unique in appearance and has some religious significance, but still, IT IS JUST A TREE! Not only is it just a tree but it grows in abundance IN A DESERT! How long can you stand in temperatures that hover near 120 degree staring at a tree before you start to question your sanity?

#4 THEODORE ROOSEVELT

My first impression of Theodore Roosevelt National Park was: where is the park? The next thing I thought of: please Dear God, don’t let anyone who knows me drive by and see me looking at this sorry excuse for a park? I kind of understand the appeal of this North Dakota park; I mean, there are colored canyons and a cabin where our former President lived is in the park and there are hiking trails and all that….but…..IT IS IN NORTH DAKOTA! You can put a dress on a pig and at the end of the day you still have a pig. During the summer it is ungodly hot and in the winter it is ungodly cold and no matter what season it is ungodly windy. My son refused to tell his classmates where he went on vacation the year we visited Theodore Roosevelt National Park; he was ten at the time and even at that age he knew he risked being a social outcast if anyone knew his secret.

#3 GUADALUPE MOUNTAINS

This park uses Guadalupe Peak, the highest landform in Texas, as its main point of interest. Isn’t that a little like saying that a pimple is the best feature on your face? What does that say about your face? In the case of Guadalupe Mountains National Park, the face is Texas, a state that will never be confused with natural beauty unless, of course, natural beauty to you means desert flora and fauna. The park is located in the Chihuahuan Desert and as such has about as much appeal as a pot roast after my grandmother burned it for Sunday dinner. The park was founded in 1966, meaning that for forty-six years now people have actually visited this park in sufficient numbers to warrant its continual operation. Like the old saying goes, “there is a sucker born every minute.”

#2 DEATH VALLEY

The website will tell you that Death Valley is the hottest, lowest and driest place in the United States where temperatures can reach 130 degrees during the day. If that doesn’t scream FUN VACTION I don’t know what will. Oh, wait, maybe the name itself will entice you to visit there….a valley associated with death! If someone can explain the allure of this place to me I am more than willing to listen. I have been there; I stood in heat so severe I could feel my brain boiling, and I looked out over a landscape so barren that it made me long for Theodore Roosevelt National Park. Now that, my friends, is a place to avoid at all costs.

#1 GATES OF THE ARCTIC

The northernmost park in the United States, Gates of the Arctic has no facilities, no roads, no trails, no campgrounds; what it lacks in amenities it more than makes up for in an abundance of grizzlies, wolves, and black bears more than willing to make your visit there a trip to remember. If your life-long dream is to become a meal for a predator then by all means spend thousands of dollars to fly there and then go for a casual stroll into the park. This park has been a part of the National Park System since 1980 and somehow, for some reason, despite all logic dictating that you stay away, a handful of visitors go there each year. No, I have never visited this park and no, I never will. Daddy didn’t raise no fool!

There you have it! Let the water-cooler debates begin. If you should choose to visit one of these parks despite my best attempts to convince you to stay away, then may the gods have mercy on your soul. I have better things to do like taking out the garbage or watching paint dry or having a tooth pulled without anesthetic.

Author's note

Hopefully you all realize this article is intended to be funny. Give me the option between visiting one of these parks and any major city in the United States and I would take these parks every single time.

2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

Comments

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 08, 2020:

It was completely tongue-in-cheek, Peggy. Unfortunately some people didn't realize that and chewed me out for this article. I have since learned my lesson about my sense of humor.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 08, 2020:

I know you wrote this tongue-in-cheek. I have yet to visit a national park that did not have its allure and beauty. A friend and I visited 10 national parks on a 3-week vacation trip many years ago, and among the ones you mentioned, we saw Guadalupe National Park, Joshua Tree National Park, and Death Valley. Like you, I would enjoy getting to all of them before I pass from this life to the next. Gates of the Arctic sounds like an interesting one!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 25, 2019:

Johan, I'm glad you took this in the spirit it was written, and enjoyed my sense of humor.

Johan Smulders from East London, South Africa on April 24, 2019:

We have visited many National and State Parks in the USA during our trips including a 15000 mile road trip and must say I enjoyed your article. Perhaps I will write a similar one on South Africa but to be honest I can think of any as bad as Death Valley. Have been there and done that simply because we were passing through. Passing through alive is an achievement in itself!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on September 30, 2015:

SweetiePie, I think all National Parks are amazing, so there! LOL All in fun, my friend. Been there, loved it.

SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on September 30, 2015:

I am very protective of my Joshua Tree and my Death Valley. If Joshua Tree had not been turned into a national park, a lot of mining interests would have come into the place and mined the heck out of it. Same with Death Valley. There are actually some really cool sights at both parks, and I love the desert heat. Maybe it is not for everyone, but it is part of my California soul. I know this hub is in fun though. I still think Joshua Tree is amazing.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on March 22, 2015:

Thank you colorfulone. I actually love the national parks system, but Death Valley? I'll pass I think. :)

Susie Lehto from Minnesota on March 21, 2015:

It make me wonder after reading this, how some places get chosen to be a national park. Death Valley? They certainly are unique place, and maybe that is the key. - Interesting hub, Billy!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on February 24, 2015:

Bob, evidently you missed the part in this article, twice, where I said this was all in fun.

Bob on February 24, 2015:

No accounting for taste. Visit Death Valley when its not hot and witness its striking beauty. Better yet, don't. More for me, less people. Bye

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on February 14, 2015:

You are very welcome, Robert. LOL

Robert Sacchi on February 14, 2015:

Thanks for the warning :-)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on January 31, 2015:

Thanks for the link. It's a strange world we live in with the internet. I appreciate it, Old Hiker.

old hiker on January 31, 2015:

I think this is why your blog is getting attention...:)

https://www.yahoo.com/travel/america-s-worst-natio...

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on January 30, 2015:

it really is, JPac. This one came out of nowhere...it was dead from the neck up and all of a sudden hundreds are reading it.

James Packard from Columbia, Missouri on January 30, 2015:

I'm sometimes surprised by the same thing... not sure how that happens. It is interesting all the ways you can end up driving traffic.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on January 30, 2015:

JPac, good observation. I actually love nature and the National Park System. This was written more as a spoof than anything else. I'm a bit surprised by the sudden increase of viewings of this one.

James Packard from Columbia, Missouri on January 30, 2015:

There's something to the notion that everything esteemed is highly disappointing. Some of the most incredible places you'll go will, more often than not, be some of the biggest let-downs. When something is hyped up so much, it can't always meet expectations.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on January 30, 2015:

Old hiker, I completely agree with you. This article was actually written as a joke. I've spent most of my adult life hiking and mountain climbing, and I've probably visited twenty-five national parks. I love the National Park System, and I'm glad you do as well.

old hiker on January 30, 2015:

We just hiked in Death Valley and Joshua Tree a couple of weeks ago. Like anywhere you visit for an outdoor vacation, you go when the seasons allow you to enjoy it...these two are parks that are best enjoyed in cooler months! The varying desert ecosystems are actually quite beautiful, and the lodging (the historic and lovely Furnace Creek Inn in Death Valley, and the quirky and very fun 29 Palms Inn outside of Joshua Tree) were terrific. And there's nothing like seeing the Milky Way with no light pollution, and being serenaded by coyotes in the middle of the night...it puts things into proper perspective. You should go to these parks...you will love them! We are so fortunate to have such a fabulous national park system in our country. Every single one is a treasure!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on November 04, 2014:

Jake, thanks for weighing in on this. It is watercooler debate at its finest. In truth, I love the National Park System, and any national park is all right by me.

Jake on November 04, 2014:

Half of the parks in Alaska have no trails and no roads. If you included them that's all your list would consist of.

Joshua Tree is great if you like climbing or scrambling on rocks (in fact, the rocks are its distinct geographic feature, not the trees it's named after). Death Valley is the hottest place in America -- sure that makes it unbearable in summer, but it's actually quite nice in the winter and spring, with plenty of unique geographical phenomena (see racetrack playa, and the crater which came about literally because the earth decided to spontaneously erupt).

I've been to Guadalupe and I do agree there, I wasn't that impressed, it seemed like someone just decided that the second biggest state in the Union had to have more national parks. Pinnacles I also think probably should have stayed a national monument.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on November 20, 2013:

Probably the best time, Ben. I hope you have a great trip and thank you for the visit.

Ben on November 20, 2013:

Joshua Tree is unforgettable. Can't wait to go back (obviously in the winter)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on January 26, 2013:

Valene, of course I love all national parks, but I won't go out of my way to see these five. :) Thank you!

Valene from Missouri on January 26, 2013:

Good to know! I won't both with those parks unless I'm just passing through.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on January 11, 2013:

Tom, thank you for not taking this seriously. I have never seen Cuyahoga, but now you have me curious. :)

Tom on January 10, 2013:

Haha nice. Glad I've only been to the great parks. But you did mess up on the #1 worst national park. Which actually should go to Cuyahoga Valley National Park. IN OHIO. Of all places. I've never been, but come on. look at the wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuyahoga_Valley_Natio...

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on December 29, 2012:

Hey Tom, thanks for the visit and the passion in your remarks. I am a huge fan of the entire National Park System, and the entire article was done with tongue firmly planted in cheek. :)

Tom on December 29, 2012:

All this hatred for desert scenery. Death Valley and Joshua Tree are gorgeous parks!

I took a day trip to Joshua Tree one day in late December a few years ago and loved it. There are tons of great hikes, some interesting wildlife, and, of course, the awesome (and very photogenic) trees. I even got to see some petroglyphs.

The only problem? It was too cold! Freezing cold, in fact, especially up at Keys View (an overlook at the top of a crest that overlooks the Coachella Valley.) The lower temperatures made the hikes really pleasant, but towards the end of the day (I went up to the viewpoint to watch the sunset over the San Bernardino mountains) the wind got so frigid that I couldn't stand to be out of my car for more than a few minutes.

One thing I've discovered, though, is that you really have to get out and walk around to really discover the beauty and diversity of some of these parks. Driving through is never enough - a lot of the best stuff can only be seen while hiking. I wouldn't have been nearly as impressed with Joshua Tree if I hadn't gotten out of my car and taken some of the hikes.)

With all that said, I can understand why these places would be unbearable in the summer. Death Valley is actually quite beautiful and there are some gorgeous hikes, but unless you go some time between November and April you're not going to be able to enjoy those hikes.

As someone who has visited northern Canada and Alaska (but not the national parks,) I've also got to STRONGLY disagree with your statements about the North. The tundra and the northern mountains are among the most gorgeous (and unpolluted) places on Earth. I'm very anxious to get to Gates of the Arctic (and the neighboring national park, Kobuk Valley) some time in the next few years. I could spend weeks in those kinds of locations.

Anyway, not saying you're wrong - obviously things like beauty are very subjective - just putting up defenses for some (now underrated) national parks.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on November 09, 2012:

Hillary, you crack me up! The whole article was in jest. I love the National Parks and I hope you have a wonderful life in the backcountry. Thanks for the visit!

Hillary Bar on November 09, 2012:

Excuse me but Gates of the Arctic is for people who love going in the backcountry and have been planning for months. And excuse me but if you are going in bear country, then learn some bear safety and be smart. Do not feed a bear or aggravate it and learn how to handle yourself. They are just as grumpy or happy as any person. Do some research before you decide that every trip to a National Park is like one to Disney Land; that is the whole point. You are the visitor, and the animals etc. are not there to entertain you.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 13, 2012:

Rochelle.....LOL.....this has been a very well viewed hub; evidently I peaked some interest with it. :) Thank you, and of course, the Petrified Forest is in the top ten.

Rochelle Frank from California Gold Country on October 13, 2012:

Very funny look at some out-of-the-way places. I visited Death Valley as a child with my family and found it very interesting. In the snapshots we were all wearing jackets and sweaters-- I'm thinking it was early Spring.

I was a little surprised you didn't mention Petrified Forest. I was expecting a shaded woodsy place with upright trees-- and all they had was piles of rocks.

Keep checking your mail for a note from the NPS, they are bound to send you an award of some kind.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 12, 2012:

dallasd, that is fantastic! I think the National Pars Service should pay me for the advertisement. LOL Thank you!

dallasd on October 12, 2012:

Although I have never been to these parks I want to go now. Just for the experience.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 12, 2012:

Joy, thank you, and have a great weekend!

joytruthlove on October 12, 2012:

very enjoyable...

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 12, 2012:

ElleBee, I love the Black HIlls and Mt. Rushmore....it's North Dakota I have a problem with. LOL In all honesty, I love the National Park System. :)

Thank you and have a great weekend!

ElleBee on October 12, 2012:

Good think Rooseelt park, was in North Dakota, looks like that saved you from seeing anyone you knew! I hope you don't just hate the Dakotas in general though, because Mt. Rushmore is a pretty neat place.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 10, 2012:

mperrottet, thanks for the recommendation. That's the problem with having a dry sense of humor...sometimes people take me seriously. :)

Margaret Perrottet from San Antonio, FL on October 10, 2012:

If anyone want another point of view about Theodore Roosevelt National Park, I wrote a hub on it. I loved it and think it's worth a visit. To each his own. In fact, my husband and I are planning on seeing Death Valley in 2014. You're right about the National Park system - every park in it is actually worth a visit.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 09, 2012:

I've been there, Doodlehead, and it is spectacular and very peaceful.

Thanks for the visit and comment.

Doodlehead from Northern California on October 09, 2012:

I always did wonder exactly who would want to visit Death Valley.....but the only thing that place is good for is as a park.....my favorite is Sequoia National Park two hours south of Yosemite...where the big tress are and where fewer crowds are and where the little town of Three Rivers is!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 09, 2012:

I have been there Penelope...many times. :) I don't know why but I-90 and I are intimately familiar with one another. LOL

Thanks for the return visit!

Penelope and Sara on October 09, 2012:

If you are ever in the area of the headwaters of the Missouri (near Three Forks Montana) skip the river and check out the Lewis and Clark Caverns. Like most national attractions with the famed adventurers' names on it, they never visited the caves, but they are spectacular to see and make for a fun day trip into the area.

And there's just one of me-don't ask about the username, it's a long story. :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 09, 2012:

Penelope and Sara, you have me laughing now. There is Yellowstone and then there are a bunch of wannabes, and Roosevelt is at the bottom rung of that ladder. You saw the headwaters, huh? That was probably good for a yawn or two. :)

Thank you my funny friend (s)

Penelope and Sara on October 09, 2012:

As a person who has just been forced to move to North Dakota, after having grown up about an hour from Yellowstone, I fully support your comments on Theodore Roosevelt National Park. It is no place to pick for a destination. However, if you are forced to travel through the area, it really is a pretty spot with some unique landscape, worth seeing from the windows of your car as you cruise by going 80 on the interstate.

And to Carli who mentioned the anti-climatic visit to the headwaters of the Mississippi-I feel ya. My family visited the headwaters of the Missouri a couple of years ago in Montana, with all the anticipation that can be muster for the soon to be sight of three rivers converging together to give birth to a new river of mythical standards. Uh yeah, it was like watching three canals slowly run into each other.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 07, 2012:

Yankee, thank you! Funny, but one avenue in life I thought quite a bit about was being a truck driver. Something about it always appealed to me. Oh well, maybe in the next lifetime. :)

Bless you as well my new friend!

yankeeintexas from Lubbock, Texas on October 07, 2012:

As a truck driver I have driven through, and by, many national (mostly by them since park roads are resticted). I have driven through the Guadalupe Mountain many times going to El Paso, TX, and I will agree that the place is not very impressive.

I will say that I envy you, billybuc! I have always want to visit all the National Parks, and have only gotten to visit one or two. God bless on your adventures!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 07, 2012:

Taifonso, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks Death Valley is the pits. LOL Thank you!

talfonso from Tampa Bay, FL on October 07, 2012:

This Hub on the five worst national parks really makes me laugh! Love the Death Valley one because it's hot as heck! No water, no amenities, and just about NOTHING ELSE rules that place. Will vote up and useful!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 07, 2012:

Rusti, I love that line.....why did we drive this far???? My words exactly for Death Valley! LOL I hope you have a fantastic cruise....where are you going Rusti?

Thank you my friend!

Ruth McCollum from Lake Oswego, Oregon on October 07, 2012:

Billy we RV a lot in the summer, we are explorers. I too, have been to many of our parks and i too, have wondered WHY IN GODS NAME WE DROVE THAT FAR TO SEE THAT! This year we are taking a cruise, hoping getting out of the country may be more fun. As usual Billy Ilove your hub!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 06, 2012:

Cam, I do appreciate the second visit. I promise to leave your park alone and you are right, I really do love the entire National Park System. Thank you!

Chris Mills from Traverse City, MI on October 06, 2012:

I just had to come back and visit your hub. I had a hub publised a few months ago about the National Lakeshore near me. I pulled it off line to completely redo it. I just posted it so thought I would come here and make sure you hadn't stuck it in your list. haha. Just kidding. I know from your comment on my last post that you love the National Park system. I enjoyed your hub the second time as well.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 06, 2012:

Blondie, it definitely is not pleasant! :) Thank you again!

Kayla on October 06, 2012:

Your welcome! And yeah, Death Valley doesn't sound to pleasant.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on October 06, 2012:

Thank you Blondie; just a little fun, although I'm not sure anyone could pay me to return to Death Valley! :)

Kayla on October 06, 2012:

I've been to Mount Rushmore, and it is beautiful! Never to the rest of them. Thanks for the article! It's great!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 22, 2012:

No apology needed, Cam! The hub was written entirely in jest and I expected a little backlash from those who love those sites. I truly love the National Park System and all the jewels of that system; if it were up to me we would double the number of parks.

Thanks for stopping by.

Chris Mills from Traverse City, MI on August 22, 2012:

I enjoyed your hub, but I must stand in defense of Joshua Tree National Park. It is much more than desert trees. Actually, I consider it magnificent and awesome. (Sorry, just trying to counterbalance your comments). I live about five miles from Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, while not a park, it is still part of the National Park System. I did write a hub on its winning ABC's Good Morning America's "The Most Beautiful Place in America." Good job on the hub.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 18, 2012:

Suzette, South Dakota is actually very pretty in the Black Hills area....North Dakota, not so pretty. :) Thank you and have a great weekend.

Suzette Walker from Taos, NM on August 18, 2012:

I have seen Mt. Rushmore and that was pretty amazing. But I think it is in S. Dakota. I get N and S Dakota mixed up. Thanks for the list . I won't go out of my way to see these parks.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 25, 2012:

Julie, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Amazingly I had a couple people irate over this one....the thought of me being facetious never entered their heads. I love the National Park System; I wish we had fifty more across the country...however, I am not going to any of these five. I'll leave that to someone a little more adventurous than I am.

Thanks for the share and comment!

Jools Hogg from North-East UK on July 25, 2012:

Bill, yes you can put a dress on a pig and it is still a pig, this really made me laugh! I have only been to Yosemite of the parks you mention though I hope to visit the USA again in the future - this is very useful (and funny).

Voted up and shared.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 22, 2012:

Blissful, there you are again. I'm glad you enjoyed this silliness.....but no matter how silly I'm being, I am never going to Death Valley! :)

BlissfulWriter on July 22, 2012:

I like your humorous commentaries of these parks. Voted funny.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 21, 2012:

Emayordomo, thank you! No sense sugar coating when vacations cost so much. Hey, if deserts are your thing, you will enjoy Death Valley...I can't imagine it, but I guess it's possible. :) Thank you!

Emayordomo from San Francisco, CA on July 21, 2012:

Thanks for an amazing hub! Definitely no sugar coating in your writing which is great. Loved the way you wrote this article!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 19, 2012:

Starstream, exactly the perfect time! LOL

Dreamer at heart from Northern California on July 19, 2012:

Yep! I think maybe it also would be great for a few minutes seeing it on tv during a winter storm.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 19, 2012:

Starstream, that's the way to see it...with air conditioning at sixty miles per hour. LOL Thanks for stopping by.

Dreamer at heart from Northern California on July 19, 2012:

National parks are great! Yes, some are better than others. We drive by Joshua Tree and were so hot we fortunately didn't go. I could see Joshua Trees through the car window.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 18, 2012:

Cassy, I don't know if you ever saw it, but the show West Wing had an episode where one of the govt. people had to meet with representatives from North Dakota; they wanted to drop the word "North" from the state name because tourists didn't want to go there because it sounded cold. The govt. official looked at them and said, "you have to be kidding; people don't go to your state because it is boring." True words! LOL

CassyLu1981 from Spring Lake, NC on July 18, 2012:

Excellent read! I have been to two of these places, Joshua Tree and Death Valley and you are right, they are far from incredible (beautiful in their own way but still not somewhere to go on vacation) and your words about the Theodore Roosevelt National Park, hillarious!!! I'm from South Dakota (much better then the Northern sister state in my opinion) so that "You can put a dress on a pig and at the end of the day you still have a pig" part, thanks, I really needed a laugh :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 18, 2012:

Kiwi, thank you! I don't have the money to travel either, but if I ever do these places are not on my list. :)

kiwi gal on July 18, 2012:

Great reading, honest and open reading. Too expensive for me to even think of traveling at present still you create a great picture with your writing and this is great. Voted this up. Look forward to reading some more

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 16, 2012:

Donnah, I was telling Bev that the other day. Instead of writing about places I'd like to just once actually go somewhere that didn't involve a shopping cart. :)

Thank you! I hope you get that vacation soon!

Donna Hilbrandt from Upstate New York on July 16, 2012:

I could seriously use a vacation, even if it was to one of these dreadful places. Maybe a trip to the beach? No... A staycation? No.... Hawaii? Would love to! Oh right, I have to work tomorrow.

Enjoyed your tongue in cheek look at our parks system. :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 16, 2012:

Ryan, thanks so much for your comment and for realizing that the entire article was tongue-in-cheek. It's always nice to see people out there with such a great sense of humor as yourself.

Ryan on July 16, 2012:

Your list lost all credibility with the inclusion of Gates of the Arctic. Maybe you should head to Disneyland. It has a freeway and abundant parking right next to it.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 16, 2012:

Suzie, if I ever get over there I'm counting on your to be my tour guide. Thank you my friend; I always love to hear from you.

Suzanne Ridgeway from Dublin, Ireland on July 16, 2012:

Hi Bill, whilst I have heard of Joshua Tree (album by the great Irish band U2!!) and Death Valley, I have never been to your delightful selection, and now will take your advice and cross off my bucket list! LOL If you ever do get to this side of the pond, Europe has many National Parks worthy of a visit.Keep an eye out of a forthcoming hub of mine on one such must see. Loved your humour here, another great read!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 16, 2012:

Tammy, I'm ashamed to say that I visited Death Valley. Never again my friend.

Thanks as always! I doubt the National Park Service will be hiring me anytime soon to write articles for them.

Tammy from North Carolina on July 16, 2012:

This is helpful for travelers. I can't believe there is a real park in death valley! Now I know where NOT to go on vacation. Very helpful!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on July 02, 2012:

Time, thank you! I've actually seen the site you are describing and it is breathtaking; no way that was going to be mentioned in this spoof hub. :)

Sondra Rochelle from USA on July 02, 2012:

Bill: I don't know anybody else who would write a hub like this. I loved it! One thing though, Roosevelt National Park is actually two parks, and if you go to the tip of the northernmost park you have a view of the Missouri valley that is breathtaking and you also might get to see a few Buffalo, too. I agree that most of these parks don't offer much, however. Loved some of your descriptions, especially the one about the pimple! Thanks for the laugh!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on June 30, 2012:

Dancing...nice turn of phrase with the "cottoned to it." LOL Thank you for your kind words. I need to pay you a visit.

Dancing Water on June 30, 2012:

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your lighthearted take on undesirable national parks, billybuc. Your writing here truly flowed. Kudos! And I'm not a big fan of Texas' "beauty" as well. Never quite cottoned to it when I lived there. I prefer green and lush to arid. Again, brilliant hub!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on June 30, 2012:

Spy, I think that is a great description. LOL....thank you my dear!

Life Under Construction from Neverland on June 30, 2012:

Death Valley and the Joshua tree sounds very....chilly. Interesting to take a small peak :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on June 30, 2012:

Naimishika, you are very welcome. Thank you too!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on June 30, 2012:

bdegiulio, I admit to being somewhat of a snob when it comes to National Parks. We have such beautiful ones here in Washington, so that when I do see one in a desert I kind of turn up my nose at it. I'm glad you enjoyed my silliness.

Bill De Giulio from Massachusetts on June 30, 2012:

Hey Bill. Great Hub, very funny. Don't know how I missed this one. Some of these NP's do make one wonder, what were they thinking?

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on June 29, 2012:

dwachira, I'm happy that I could bring a smile to your face. Have a wonderful weekend!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on June 29, 2012:

Robin, it has always been a mystery to me why anyone would go look at that tree. LOL...thank you!

Danson Wachira from Nairobi, Kenya on June 29, 2012:

I hope the authorities will do something about the Joshua Tree Park and make it more tour friendly ...and this line [How long can you stand in temperatures that hover near 120 degree staring at a tree before you start to question your sanity?] is just a rib cracker for me. Thanks billybuc, when i want a smile i will just grab one from your hubs. Voted up, useful and shared.

Robin Oatley on June 29, 2012:

Hi Bill, what a great hub. It is funny and informative! I'll be sure to stay away from those parks. I mean, a tree, seriously? ;)

Voting up, funny and interesting.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on June 18, 2012:

Thank you Margarita....I love that name by the way....I appreciate you stopping by.

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